If you found out a guy you’ve been seeing who’s almost 30 had never dated or had a girlfriend, would you break it off?

[Anonymous]

Let’s say you brought up the subject of past relationships and dating history and he revealed to you that he’s never been with anyone and is brand new to dating, would you keep seeing him or break it off?

I would break it off

I would keep seeing him

It depends on the reason why he’s so inexperienced

[NotTacocaT6969]

It really depends on his mental state.


I was my ex’s first ever girlfriend.


As a result, he was insecure, possessive and controlling.


He went so far as to try to sabotage my friendships with guys I knew long before him.


If he had been trusting instead, this may have gone differently.

[Asker]

Well for me, I saw a few friends get rejected pretty frequently starting back in elementary school with innocent crushes and all the way through high school. I felt that since I was associated with them, I would suffer the same fate and that I should not even bother trying so that I didn’t have to suffer the same embarrassment and hurt feelings that they did, but I knew that being alone and untouched wouldn’t be easy either, I just saw it as the lesser of two evils at the time. So I knew I needed to numb myself emotionally in any way that I could since being alone as a result of not asking anyone out would still depress me, so I started smoking as much weed as I could afford to buy and started drinking as much as I could come across alcohol, I eventually started fermenting grape juice from the store and started drinking that to keep myself numb and it only got worse after I turned 21 and could buy alcohol legally. Getting into gambling followed after that as well as abusing prescription drugs, all because I have believed that I would have zero success if I ever tried to ask anyone out. So that’s my story and where I’m still at today.

[NotTacocaT6969]

In my personal experience, the pain of failure or rejection goes away.

The pain of wondering what could have happened never goes away.

It’s never too late to try.

[Asker]

I’m dealing with that second kind of pain right now, and my drug abuse has definitely increased because of that. There’s a girl I’ve been interested in for a long time that works with me at a summer job I do every year and back when I first became interested in her, she was giving me pretty clear signals to make a move but I still couldn’t bring myself to because I lacked the confidence and continued to assume rejection would be the only outcome. She ended up getting into a relationship with the other guy who was courting her at the time and he ended up being both physically and emotionally abusive to to her, and I feel that I share responsibility for what she went through because I never made a move. And if I did, she never would’ve gone through any of that because I never would have treated her that way, so I carry that guilt around with me too. Now she’s with someone else and even if she wasn’t with him anymore, I doubt that she would want to be with someone who’s had no relationships while she’s had a few already. Even taking her out of the equation, I feel like I’m too late to try because my lack of experience will be too off putting for most of the girls out there.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Not getting experience in at a younger age definitely makes it seem more difficult than it really is.

The best advice I can give you is to take things slow, expect rejection but hope for the best.

I’m in a relationship but I still look back at the time I hid my feelings from a guy I loved just because I was afraid he would reject me…I really think I should’ve just taken the rejection.

[Asker]

Yeah because you know that most people in your age group have experience now, and most of them view someone with no experience as having more problems than they’re worth, so they would rather be with someone who already has experience.

I just feel like I have no hope to begin with, I let this go on way longer than I should and should’ve sorted this out in my early 20’s right after I lost my virginity. Now I’m a year away from entering my 30’s and its an even bigger issue to girls compared to being in this situation in your early 20’s.

I guess it would’ve been worth it for you to take that risk, same goes for me. If my actions (or lack of I should say) get other people hurt emotionally and physically, maybe I just deserve this situation I’m in and should stay on this course until the drug abuse does me in.

[NotTacocaT6969]

No matter what, someone out there is willing to give you a chance.

I’m willing to bet there’s more than one who would give you the benefit of the doubt.

Not being a virgin is honestly half of that issue gone already.

[Asker]

Yeah but the time I lost my virginity is the only time I’ve ever had sex, it’s honestly hard to believe that anyone would give someone like me a chance since so many girls have said that my situation is a turn off to them, feels like the odds of finding a girl who would give me the benefit of the doubt are the same as finding a needle in a haystack.

[NotTacocaT6969]

There are way more needles in the stack than you may believe.

I am one female who would be open to give an inexperienced man a chance.

I can’t be the only sane female alive.