My guy friends have told me that if I like a guy and he’s interested in me as well, I have to play hard to get so that I’d know if he’s really interested in me. Is is true that guys get bored whenever girls show interest?
I used to believe that neither men nor women should play mind games.. is it true though? I’ve only been in one relationship and we didn’t date for long. I’m not sure if this is true. All opinions are appreciated! ^_^
worst thing I can think is when a girl that is actually interested on you, plays hard to get...
if a girl that is not interested on me, acts accordingly and won't show or reciprocate interest, then she is just being honest and consistent with herself, which is appreciated, by me... anyway
but if a girl is interested and then she decides to play games instead, and does so in order to "test or trick" you, this shows an INSANE amount of both insecurity and immaturity... it also shows a lack of awareness, experience, considerations and many other negative things
pretending and faking who we are or what we are about are the worst things you could do when looking for a relationship, for me it is a big no... a woman can be all the good and great she is but if she decides to play childish games, then she is mentally childish to me, and that kind of people can be a lot of trouble and all kinds of trouble further ahead so I just rather forget about all of it
but that's just me, I am not made for games... lol
and yes, I did some of these games when I was way way younger, this is how I know what a terrible mistake it can be, but I am over that though
and I was around that age when I was being more childish and playing some mind games, so yes
and you are right, they are confusing, exhausting, frustrating... and can definitely cause more issues than bring you any benefit or good outcome
now, the reasons why these games are played can be a few different experiences... it could be just lack of experience, it could peer pressure from others who told you that "this is how you get him or her" and then you just do it... or it can also be that we're unsure of ourselves or we are not certain with the situation, so we end up in this sort of dynamic
either way, playing games with people... is playing with their emotions and feelings as well as ours, so generally... not a good idea at all, because when it goes wrong it can go very wrong, and even when it does not go so wrong, it can be difficult to recover from it and move on, onto something better
but, I would not say that MOST people do it no, at least that is not what I observed from my experience, most people who are into each other... get drawn into each other, there's no mind games going on
Depends on the guy not on if he really likes you or not. Some guys won't try anything at all while they don't have at least some clue that you might want them. This was me when I was single. Even if I wanted to know a girl, if I saw that she didn't even showed interest in talking to me I didn't even looked at her twice. Why waste time with people that don't want you?
If a girl did show interest in you, would that be “desperate?” Some guys say they prefer it when women play hard to get, like two of my guy friends for example
Screw what other people think. If a guy doesn't like that you made the first move that's fine. Not the kind of guy that can deal with a girl that knows what she wants. His problem.
But if you don't want to make the first move you don't have to. When I said I just needed some hint that she could be into me I do mean just a hint. The way a girl talks, flirts, looks, laughs and connect with me are all indicators that she might be into me. No need to make the first direct move. As long as I didn't had a cold shoulder and some positive reaction to my advances I was good.
There are people who swear that these games work, and there are guys who will respond as your friends have predicted. However, there are many guys - probably far more - who resent such game playing and will not be interested in a girl who tries to employ such tactics.
Think about the Golden Rule: treat other people the way you want to be treated (and don't expect other people to treat you better than you treat them.) If you play games with a potential suitor, that means you shold expect him to play games with you, too. Do you want to begin a relationship in which both of you are hiding your feelings and desires and not being candid or sincere?
I’d rather be sincere and upfront, but whenever I’m interested in someone and they *seem* to like me back, things go south. They suddenly act hot and cold, try to make me jealous, play mind games etc.. Some send mixed signals.
Thank you. Yeah, I don’t exactly have the best taste in guys, to be honest. It’s because of my lack of experience, for the most part. I’m still young, so I’m hoping I’d date better guys in the future.
The books and public personalities say not to but what my inner social circles all say is to play hard to get, but I think it’s about playing slow to get and not totally uninterested.
1. "My guy friends have told me that if I like a guy and he’s interested in me as well, I have to play hard to get so that I’d know if he’s really interested in me."
That is so not true. I don't know what kind of guy friends but they are clearly telling you to do the wrong thing. This can and in all probabilities will backfire on you.
2. " Is is true that guys get bored whenever girls show interest?"
No. Not at all true.
3. "I used to believe that neither men nor women should play mind games.. is it true though?"
Yes your belief is correct. Neither men nor women should play mind games with one another. Only immature, insecure people play mind games, like playing hard to get and playing the jealousy card etc
A mature person either shows interest or they do not show interest. They are always real. Mind games are manipulative and mature people don't do this.
4." I’ve only been in one relationship and we didn’t date for long. I’m not sure if this is true. All opinions are appreciated! ^_^"
I think I have already given my opinion.
Just because playing these mind games might work on a selected few type of guys does not mean it will work on all guys. On the contrary it will not work on most men. They would just outright give up on the woman if they had any interest or liking towards her.
Hence for a small percentage (5%) of success you will be taking 95% risk which is not worth it all.
In short I would say NO. Playing hard to get does not work on guys.
Mind games take mastery and induce results and various outcomes but is that what you really want? Being chased and liked by the opposite sex is commonly viewed as social credits especially at younger age when the relationship value is precieved with those standards, but it's noted that most relationships starting at that age are not permanent. Do you wish to treat your partner as disposable, do you want then to be fine with dishonesty and manipulation for you? The ulterior interest can be tempting and frankly some guys interest will slide if you were more available.. But inherently mind games are negative and not honest, so it won't build something consistent, being available is crucial to a relationship and the play is too fragile and there is no guarantee it's the last trickery. To be clear not every good guy is mature enough to deal with that appropriately but there are who will catch up with you. Neglecting your own pacing is a mistake, find a partner who will honor it.
Maybe SOMETIMES. But for the most part NO. HORRIBLE IDEA!!! What you are going to do more times then not is cause someone to loose interest. I figure if someone is into me she will show interest in me and I will do the same.
Plus so many times someone is legitimately not into someone. You are better being straightforward and even making a move yourself. Otherwise you're going to find this person with someone else.
Someone who makes him so happy. Someone who he makes so happy... Knowing that could have been you. But you wanted to PLAY GAMES instead.
If he is interested what will many times happen is the other person looses interest. Since there I assume if you like him... There are plenty of others who do as well who won't play around.
Now if you reject sexual advances until you're married... That will rule out guys trying to use you
I’m not going to engage in any sexual activity unless I have dated the guy for at least a year or two and you’re right. It would be helpful for weeding out guys who are only after sex.
This is a hypothetical question by the way. Just for future references.
Yea I am being honest. I think playing hard to get is sorry it is not politically correct but retarded and more often then not you loose the person you're after...
Since I mean honestly. If a guy does not show interest in you... Do you want to waste your time pursuing him or asking him out with a good chance of being rejected?
The thing is, whenever I show interest in someone; they do not like me back. I’m not desperate. I show interest, but it doesn’t end well. Granted, many of the guys in my school are jerks.
Yea that makes sense. I assume that is what most people feel when... Someone plays hard to get is that someone is just not interested since many people do that and people can't read your mind and a lot of people don't want to play games anyways.
Sorry they are jerks guess you would not want to be with them anyways
I’m not a Christian.. and I’m not religious either. I don’t play hard to get though. I’m usually upfront about my intentions. If I don’t like a guy, I’d tell him so. I don’t want to lead him on and waste his time. However, if I like someone, I wouldn’t really want to take the risk and ask them out.. some guys don’t like it when women make the first move.
I will tell you this. If you really like someone you're better asking. Since... If you wait around too long what many times is he will find someone else if someone else does not find him. You're better off taking the risk of being rejected and I know that is scary then never knowing...
What a lot of both men and women do is sit and wait for the other one or at least a sure sign and eventually they loose interest or end up with someone else.
That is dumb that a guy does not want a woman making the first move. That is just plain DUMB. What does it matter? If you like someone I would think most men would like it unless they aren't into you
Everytime I say this, I always get pink downvotes, but no girl is worth chasing. When a girl makes me feel like she's uninterested, I stop. It's a guessing game, she either wants me to keep trying, or she's going to tell everyone that I'm harassing her. And usually a girl playing hard to get is just foreshadowing that that she's going to continue playing mind games. Not worth it.
No problem. I know I appreciate If a girl is direct and straightforward, even if it means she's rejecting me. I'll get over it. Just be honest and let us know if you are or aren't interested. It's easier for everyone that way.
I think that playing hard to get can only work when the other person is also knowing that you are playing hard to get. Both of you know that you are playing and its playful in any way you see. But... If the other person does not know that you are playing hard to get, then that person will definitely get a wrong perception about you and will turn bad against you. And at that point, him/her being not interested in you will be the least of your problems.
Being real, even when there is a chance of you getting scammed or duped, is what makes you guiltfree. You know that you were not at fault here at all.
For me, playing hard to get never works. They lose interest and then your left wondering what happened, crying, eating and listening to Ed Sheeran by yourself. If you truly like them and they really like you, and you want to date them, then say yes or show them. But don’t act possessive or clingy or overdramatic about it. Dont throw yourself on them. Relationships take time and effort and love. Treat him with respect, and he will treat you with respect. Also if a relationship does start, then take it slow. If a relationship doesn’t start, then don’t worry. There are more people out there that appricieate you for what you are
Well yes and no. I like a girl to be a bit of a challenge and some Yes-No-Maybe does rev me up. I think we do like to feel that the girl is a bit selective and that we are little special in her eyes. That includes the girl taking a little time in making up her mind about me and to see if I am inclined to stick around and maybe want a bit more than sex. That is the classic bargaining that happens in pair bonding
The direct opposite would be any guy is ok and y'all can father children on me. Not exactly what we might want.
I wouldn't want the hard to get, to go that long because that does become game playing and hard work and I would walk away if you are too hard work because you will probably always make it hard work.
If there is passion between us we won't get bored.
My s/o and I didn't play any games and its worked out really great so far. We talked for like 10 days establishing a connection, flirting, and learning about each other. Then we went on date. I don't think games should be really played. If you want to get a guy to like you, first you need to make him feel liked or wanted. (via eye contact, staring (let him catch you then glance away and look again or smth), or flirting here and there. Then get closer to him and ask him out of hopes he asks you out. I'm not exactly sure what constitutes playing hard to get, but it just seems like a waste of time.
Do NOT over do it. Most women are naturally picky and a pain in the ass in the earlier stages of dating. So if you are making a conscious effort to play “hard to get” and you are a woman then chances are you overdoing it.
I recently had a girl pull this crap last week. She is now begging me to meet up but she pushed me to the brink (canceled 3 times on our first date). The last time she canceled she then a few hours changed her mind and said she wanted to meet up. But I didn’t respond. I am not interested in seeing her anymore. I know she’s regretting it and she should.
I hated all the games girls used to play. Either you are interested or you are not. I do not think these games ever worked on me. If she played hard to get I would assume she was not interested and just move on.
I guess some things don’t change. Many boys in my school do play these games.
And I have a question, what does it mean if a guy stares at you a couple of times? Like he’s there wherever you go (in school) and makes eye contact, but doesn’t approach you?
No, it sets a horrible precedent. No should mean no, any deviation from that sends a mixed message that sometimes no means yes, this kind of obscurity can confuse some people. And cause some very unfortunate misunderstandings (yes, I'm trying to be generous).
No. They are telling you this because they are simps and/or expect you to date simps. So you have to sit back and try to objectively determine are you trying to date a simp beta dude or not.
As a man with confidence and abundance of women, i dont simp and would not tolerate a woman who "plays hard to get", from my pov they are some of the worst quality women since they 1. Play mind games. 2. Play a game that involves disrespecting me.
What i do like is a woman that IS hard to get. Which means she doesn't fuck around. And any sex she may have had was not casual. This is the girl that has a reputation like "she's impossible, all the guys tried and she shot them all down, dont waste your time" this is the kind of girl thats high quality. she's not playing though. Its real.
Not for me, or logical men. I don't have time for mind games and BS and I'm sure many other men feel the same way. Your male friends are teenagers and young adults, so that's probably why they're saying that stupid crap.
It can work if he doesn't know. My crush once told me that he's okay with a woman lying as long as he doesn't catch her. It sounds like an unfair logic but what can I say? Humans are complicated!
I have NO idea, I think the whole “hard to get” is passive-aggressive bullshit! If I like a guy and he asks me out I’ll say yes! That doesn’t mean that I sleep with him, and me not having sex with a guy I hardly know, is not PLAYING hard to get, my vagina IS hard to get! Only the MOST worthy get inside me! That’s not a game, that’s just being selective and SAFE.
From my honest point of view, I’m completely discouraged from mind games and disinterest. If I feel a girl doesn’t care (or hides her care towards me), I feel she’s uninterested so I’d feel demotivated. Also I don’t comprehend Mindy games and tricks, since I’m attentive to details I hear whatever a girl says but if she says 1+1=3, I’d think that she mean to say 1+1=3, I won’t search for the hidden meaning of this affirmation.
I've certainly heard if you make yourself available, men take you for granted.
But IF this is the case, what kind of guy IS this? I don't like said games either.
I like things straightforward and if a guy wants I love you, go away, no I love you come back, what a waste of time! I'm no spring chicken. Don't have time for such. Eck.
I hate any and all games. Playing hard to get just tells me you don’t mind playing with my feelings. I hate that. Being direct is who I am and it’s how I like to be treated. If a girl is playing games with me, I don’t want nothing to do with it. If a girl is direct with me, then I know where she stands and my stomach doesn’t start digesting itself due to the added stress of being unsure.
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