Does playing hard to get ACTUALLY work?

Question

Nomina · Accepted Answer

Playing hard to get, creating a mystery about yourself, not being too easy or available, are things that are lost in modern dating in my opinion. When you're too "there", people get bored easily.

I often think of how people would date when there wasn't the instant availability of texting and video chatting. They'd have to wait, they would have to do without having constant or direct or immediate aspect to the person. But when you have a phone practically growing from your hands there are technically no or very few excuses to not he around. At least that's how many perceive it. I do believe in the old adage that "absence makes the heart grow fonder", when with the right person.

It's a fine line to dance with so as not to jump too quickly or give in to quickly and being manipulative. And when you're surrounded by people who want an answer yesterday, or who don't get taking things slow or who don't get why you might want to have some boundaries that delay gratification, it can be seen as well, manipulative.

It won't be well received by many. But I don't care. Personally, I'm going back to playing hard to get. Going back wooing, and mystery and the fun of the beginning stages of romance.

Jessica405 · Accepted Answer

"Playing" is the word. Playing is a game. In most games there is a winner... and a loser! Which do you want to be?

You can play hard to get, and so many people just give up and find someone else. Risky business. Your choice.

Kaamraj · Accepted Answer

Like most things in life, nothing is absolute, it works, and it doesn't work depending on the situation and the persons involved. In economic terms playing hard to get is creating an artificial shortage and thereby increasing the exclusivity and thus price of the goods. Now whether to pursue and purchase the goods depends on the consumer. If the consumer has enough money, and choices (competition) then they may just go for something with a more realistic perceived price.

es20490446e · Accepted Answer

Usually showing interest, but not neediness, works the best.

AmandaYVR · Answer

No men absolutely hate it. "Men love the chase" is a female-created myth.  It's really only about 20% of men globally, if that. As you can see here, probably less.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

key word there.."playing"... Why play any games... Relationships should be the "real deal" real communication, real feelings, real emotions, real trust, real respect... People be playing games and then wonder why their relationships fail... gee wonder why🤦( yeah that's sarcasm lol)

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

I've never once seen it work. I don't understand why it would. So, no.

flameaqui · Answer

I never play hard to get before and because Im not thinking about that since Im not done in my school and Im not thinking about any crushes any crush I stop having crush at grade 6 I guess but all I know is playing hard to get does in fact increase a potential mate's perceived desirability, and simce other people do that sometimes nd the reason they want to play hard to get is so that the person that they like and the person who pike them dont think that they can be easily to get or they want them to think that they can't be easily getting hurt to because if they dont play hard to get then it means they are easily to get and easily to break the heart Sometimes people think that way 😅

FatherJack · Answer

Play stupid games , win stupid prizes. The majority of men with the more logical male mind will interpret " hard to get " as " Don't bother , she is NOT interested ! " . Women that do this also forget that men typically experience far more rejection than women do , hence why most men will take it as another " no ". Plus mind games do not say anything positive about those that play them.

Anonymous · Answer

In the short run, i think it does work. The thrill of the guy finally getting the girl (who may or may not be truly worth it). By working very hard for something, men tend to feel that they have earned it and it must be a good prize.

In the Long run tho, it is still the same issues. Compatibility, values etc.

It may work to help you get the person but to keep the person it’s more than that

Assi2k · Answer

Why play games if you’re confident you can get them just being yourself? If I want someone, then he just won the prize. I know my value and so does he. No reason for games.

Know your worth and it will be evident to everyone. Don’t know it? It’ll also be evident.

skyeee01 · Answer

I think it massively depends on who you're trying it with- i know playing hard to get works a treat for boys who play games, f*ck boys basically. When a boy is genuinely interested they won't play games in my opinion.
When i met my boyfriend i was so used to playing the game with boys and he sat me down and said stop game playing it ain't gonna work LMAOOO.

ArchivalMars2 · Answer

No, it doesn't, as a guy who's seen this a million times I can tell you I find nothing about it attractive. Even my friends don't really like to do this sort of thing in the slightest. I'm not into games, I don't have time for them, if I get even a whiff or see a sign that a girl that I'm talking to starts this I just leave and move on. I'm twenty-five and I'm not interested in spending what could be weeks or months doing these trivial tasks for a girl I've barely spoken to or just met.

lilyanony1 · Answer

My ex used to play hard to get to gain control. And it worked for a long time because I really didn't want anyone else.
But it gets tiresome and incredibly boring.

Especially when you're supposed to have them.
So my answer is no. there's a limit. If you like someone let them know but have a life.

Phoenix98 · Answer

In general I don't do the whole playing hard to get, if your playing hard to get then most of the time I'm just gonna move on to someone else.

I'm interested in someone who's interested in me and is direct about it, I'm not in the mood to play games and do the whole back and forth, chasing you game.

No thank you.

CaliGirlBH · Answer

That's one of those questions that really depends on an individual. Some won't waste their time, some see it as a challenge, some may get a sense of rejection so in my opinion it may or may not. The only way to find out is do it, it could work one time but may not the other.

genericname85 · Answer

not if you're a man xD and i'd argue that playing hard to get as a woman increases your chances of ending up with a player. cause as the name says: they love to "play" that game. cause what's the fun in fucking a girl that will just spread her legs for them :D

NamerOfStars · Answer

Generally, no. In small amounts, it can give you an air of mystery, and of something that needs to be worked for, but anything beyond that will just send the message that you're not interested.

loveslongnails · Answer

There's a fine line between playing hard to get and being cautious while getting to really know someone. There are ways to keep someone interested without "giving it up" too soon OR being cold. If a guy gives up "too easily", that should tell you something right there, but you have be able to decide if you're going to trust in a reasonable amount of time.

MJtheCoach · Answer

Depends if the girls extremely hot as she knows what to look for yes but if the girl plays extreme amount of games then the guy completely lose interest I live in south Asia all the time I’ve noticed girls respond one word and it take weeks to respond eventually I lose interest.

DonRollins · Answer

No, and not only would it not work, I would consider you a lower form of human being for it. I would dismiss you. I would not trust you, I look down on you, feel bad for you.

I would advise all men to stay away from these kind of women

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know if that action specifically does any good? I know personally the first sign of disinterest (and it can be a small one), I'm done 100%. But some guys don't care and will continue trying regardless. Some guys know that some women will "give in" also and take advantage of that. I personally couldn't do that, but some guys do.

cth96190 · Answer

No, because if a male makes more than one low-key approach that constitutes evidence of sexual harassment and possibly stalking.
If a woman plays hard to get, she is going to die an old maid.
Thank the Feminists.

ohshee · Answer

For me that makes me want to run if you're going to play games to try to get somebody then it's not real and anything that's not real is fake so why go there just be yourself if it's meant to be it will be

Anonymous · Answer

Mostly no. There was one study I read which said there is one area in which it works: one night stands — specifically one night stands where you *never see the other person again*. In all other aspects, even one night stands where you might want to see them again for another fling, playing hard to get hurts a girl’s chances in getting the desired outcome. Fascinating stuff.

MrNameless · Answer

Depends on the person, but it often ends up backfiring and they lose interest. Just be upfront about your feelings, and if they change. You both save so much time if you do.

sage2021 · Answer

I once dated a guy for Months and he was always trying to "one of the guys" with me. He played hard to get for too long and he blew it with this gal. It backfired on him.

GoldenCage · Answer

playing anything never works just be ginuine and be yourself. Some men like open minded women and some men prefer modest and conservative women. It doesn't matter what they like. you just be you.

hahahmm · Answer

No. Unless the guy is a rapist which is probably not what you want. Stop believing the stuff you see in romantic comedies. It's not real.

Staximus · Answer

It's a waste of time and will make somebody think you're not interested in them. If you want somebody around, you better act like it before they find someone who will

HighValue · Answer

If someone plays those immature emotional games I would lose all interest permanently.

tee_64 · Answer

It would be an immature move if you want things to work out in favor

alleon · Answer

Then you get men who reach out. But then it’s like you’re the one in charge of keeping the convo going

Llinyth · Answer

No not in my experience. I think honesty is the way to go. Be yourself upfront and offer what you have to give.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

No, it does not work. It works better if you know how to play hard-to-get properly, but so few women know how to do it properly that you'd be better off not taking the chance.

purplepoppy · Answer

No they'll just move on to someone more responsive to their advances.

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

If you have to play games to get there attention there not ment to be

AviatorTom · Answer

Playing hard is better than playing soft. Playing hard to get sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.

FreyaRed · Answer

It works, however men who fall for it are not interesting.

Zafrica · Answer

Works when you're young and/or immature... less so when you starting aging out of that behaviour.

BeMuse · Answer

It will keep you single. If that’s your goal, then it will work great.

Anonymous · Answer

Nah. It turns a lot of guys off. Some guys like the mysterious girls and the ones who want guys to chase, but a lot of the time it isn’t worth their energy.

Lucy68 · Answer

Honestly no cause in the end someone is bound to get hurt

Anonymous · Answer

It almost never works. I'd say never, but I suppose miracles can happen. Only women tell other women that this works, and women seem to hate other women.

nice-girl · Answer

Yes it does, but more than that being a coquette playing hot and cold.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah right. Let me know when it ever worked for real. I'm talking about more than just one night sex or friends with benefits.

slatyb · Answer

Maybe with some people. More mature people will just accept that "No" means "No".

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Only with dense idiots who don't get the fact that you're never available and yet always online means you don't want them.

Anonymous · Answer

No, and it’s pretty annoying and a complete waste of time. If you want to play childish games you’re clearly not my type.

dragoblack · Answer

Only works if both are aware its a game. Otherwise it makes the guy look like he is trying to force consent, which looks super bad. If you say "no" most will take it as such

ChiPaPa · Answer

Honestly, if someone was doing that to me, I would assume they don't like me and move on from my intensions to date them.

Nick473 · Answer

No it shows how little she actually cares about his feelings and isn't ready for a legit relationship

Jintendo18 · Answer

Whoever is playing hard to get doesn’t like you enough to begin with, so better to move on to the next person.

Anonymous · Answer

No. The only thing it works at is convincing guys that either a woman isn't interested in him or she is a manipulator, which is worse.

Riddler1412 · Answer

Works sometimes, if you're a young teen. Otherwise no.

Stevefiveo · Answer

I'll will just think she is not interested and move on to someone else.

Iron_Man · Answer

It doesn’t work on me it’s a turn off but sometimes it works On others

doctorwow · Answer

Not for me personally. I'm to lazy to be chasing anyone

Wise4myage · Answer

I wouldn't have the patience for it, but I hear its effective.

Anonymous · Answer

Not so far as I can tell. Being ATTRACTIVE works. So your time and effort are better spent becoming as hot as possible.

pleasestopthis · Answer

No, mature people don't bother with silly games.

shortster · Answer

Not with me, if I think that you might be uninterested I typically move on.

cookiecrusher · Answer

As a guy yes, it works on women doing the chasing. As a guy chasing women, not so much.

Paul09 · Answer

Maybe if you high schoolers. In the adult world, playing games is ridiculous.

Does playing hard to get ACTUALLY work?

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