Does playing hard to get actually work?

Question

So I've spoken to guy's before and they've said they hate it when a girl plays hard to get and comes of rude and immature.

When I was a bit younger I used to play hard to get and It was extremely affective and it would make my crush want to try harder to get me. Now I'm older i also think it's immature and rude too but it does actually work on me too if a guy I like act's disinterested in me I'm more likely to want them to like me.

Recently I had a bit of tiff with my crush if you've been reading my resent questions you already know but ever since I've been avoiding him and he's been trying really hard to get my attention now and is giving me dreamy puppy dog eyes which he wasn't doing before.

I really want people to give me their 100% honest, true opinions please, I'm not considering it myself, I'm just wondering.

truthbeknown · Accepted Answer

Playing hard to get is actually very dangerous for guys to consider these days. With MeTOO and feminism spear heading a social witch hunt against men, why would a guy keep chasing a girl that isn't showing interest? The guy is gambling between someone playing hard to get and someone who actually isn't interested and may press charges of harassment against him. We aren't mind readers. We can't tell between playing hard to get and simply not interested. So men should just assume she isn't into them. So any guy should never keep pressuring a woman once she shows no signs of interest. He should respect her choice and move on. If she is playing hard to get, then she is playing with fire too as she may lose out on a great guy because he gives up. I find playing hard to get immature, mind games, manipulative and controlling.

TheKing4991 · Accepted Answer

Yeah, it works. Even confuses me lol

Right now, I don't know who's playing hard to get lol... Me or her.

First time we met she nervously said "glad I met you, hope I see you again" and then today, she was sitting by my class, where I've never seen her before. Waved at me. She asked me something which was sexually suggestive.

Now, when she left, she didn't even acknowledge me. Looked the complete other way and walked up and past me two times like that.

I haven't been giving her a lot of attention and always address her friends rather than her. Haven't messaged her at all or tried any of that.

Porcelaine · Accepted Answer

Just because you're older doesn't mean you should just give yourself to the guy cause he's complaining you seem immature doing it. quite the opposite, as you mature more and more, you'll want to waste less time dealing with guys that like you for the wrong reasons, so you should play hard to get just a little bit, in order to see what kind of guy you're dealing with. but don't ignore your crush!! there are other ways to play hard to get without completely ignoring the person. if you like him and he likes you too, at least get to know him, just don't give 100% of yourself before you figure out he's actually worth that. now that's playing hard to get but fair, not leading him on.

Hyped_up_on_coffee · Accepted Answer

I would say modify the game a little bit , after all we loose interest in things that we can get super easy. I prefer the push and pull method which creates sexual tension. I would do it subtly though and always convey want with body language. I also Sugest doing taoilor made seduction , different people want different things and prefer certain types of lovers to bring out aspects of their personalities out. Like if they are bored and lack luster maybe they need someone who brings a sense of thrill and adventure. Robert Green goes in to this in to his book the Art of seduction on types of people and how to seduce them.

VvaCc · Accepted Answer

To me, I think it works because when my boyfriend was first trying to date me, I wasn't play hard to get, I just really didn't want to be with me.. The other day, he and I were talking about those days and he said he didn't understand why it was so hard for him to win me over and that made him want to work harder for it..

ChronicThinker · Accepted Answer

Men don't like girls who have to play a role, they like women who actually ARE what they ARE. If you have to fake shit, play games, and fuck with his mind: you're every other bitch. If you're a woman who is valuable and may take more than three dates to lay, with expectations... you're worth it.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

It does. Guys say it doesn't cause they don't know that it works. My cousin had 25 guys chasing after her and she said to play hard to get. She also had an ugly face.

jay139 · Answer

To an extent, People want what they can’t have. Clinginess is unattractive because it comes off as needy and vulnerable and people are attracted to confidence because it makes them feel more confident by association. However, when you’ve established a long term relationship, these sorts of chasing games become tedious and you have to start being more open and committed to your partner, otherwise they will doubt the point in staying in the relationship once the novelty and excitement of a new partner wares off.

TaurusB23 · Answer

Depends on what you're looking for in a guy. Some men don't like girls that play hard to get because to them, their are a million women on this planet so what makes you special to the point where you'd start a chase with a potential significant other. Some guys who are older with let's say for example who have degrees and a career... most of the time they won't waste their time especially if they've been fine without a woman in the first place. Other guys love the chase because to them it's a challenge and to them it's more of a getting someone to make strides and go above and beyond when they normally don't do it in the first place because they see something in you that they want. There's nothing wrong with playing hard to get but you have to know the limits... instead of playing hard to get just stay classy and particular on the RIGHT potential candidate. Stay classy

kbbroiler · Answer

Hey Alice. My advice and I’m 46 years old. You women really don’t have a leg to stand on with these games anymore. More and more men have taken a step back and you probably noticed this men don’t ask out women anymore. They don’t court them or anything that is too much work. So my advice is you see a guy you like don’t play games. What that does it causes a domino affect to that guy and then he will see most women are that way. Or Karma might come into play to a guy you like and then he does it to you. It’s not worth it.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

So, everyone usually wants that forbidden fruit, wants what they can't have... So it is usually very appealing. However, as I've grown older and wiser. I find that a woman that plays hard too get is a waste of time. I'm not saying it needs to be easy, but it needs too be straightforward and honest. I can handle a woman telling me she wants to go slow, or just hangout and see where it goes, rather than her acting a certain way and trying to play mind games. Please women, don't play mind games. You will lose... Him... Well guys that think like me.

LordChaoticX · Answer

I'd rather not have to complete a military training course to win a girls love. But a week or 2 of teasing never hurt no one. Most girls that play hard to get are considered gold diggers if they manage to get large amounts of gifts or paid dinners. I don't mind a week or 2 of hard to get but after a while it just gets annoying.

Miristheiss · Answer

When I'm single and looking to meet people, I talk to lots of girls and if I pick up a vibe that they aren't interested I just move on. I'd pass right on over someone who was playing hard. I only spend time on those that show some interest in me when I approach them. I don't think it would work with me.

winterfox10 · Answer

The reason it worked for you before is because teenage guys are hormonal messes. Playing hard to get, at least the way you mean, doesn't work, because most girls don't know how to play hard to get properly. You made the same mistake every other girl makes. You act disinterested, when in reality, playing hard to get means that you act interested, but hesitant to give into the guy.

JusticeForOrganisms · Answer

Guys dont typically understand the need for playing hard to get, but I think it exists for a reason. If the guy gets mad when a girl plays hard to get, it's because he's taking it personally. He has no idea how many creeps most girls have to deal with everywhere they go. So when it comes time to prove that he's not gonna give up after the first problem he runs into, he gets frustrated and gives up. She wasn't too hard to get, he's just a quitter.

Fuentes · Answer

Depends on the guy really, some guys will play and if they'te like ME they'll drop you the minute they notice the game. I've dropped the last girl cause of that i feel bad because i know she actually liked me but GAMES i don't go for, she can find another guy

LivinLegend · Answer

Depends on how hard you are to get. Don't make yourself impossible to get but don't make it easy either.

It sounds confusin but its really not its basically that your trying too hard to make yourself hard to get.

If I gotta reach something on the top shelf and I'm getting ladders and step stools to reach it and the shelf just magically goes higher Imma give up at a certain point.

Don't get it twisted though guys like hard to get girls.

Anonymous · Answer

What if there are reasons to just back off and stop bothering person who don’t seem interested? Than I cut the communication - is this playing hard to get or is this giving him a break he needs? I will not write before he comes to me. I feel It’s been rather one sided so I will wait and see if he reaches out on him own - is that playing hard to get?

Sucram · Answer

Sure, it works, but not for everyone. If you wanna play the chase game, you can have a lot of players chasing you. But then don't complain afterwards that you only attract players.

FatherJack · Answer

Works to some degree on females... but generally fails on males , th logical male brain processes " hard to get " as " do NOT waste your time on her , move on !! "

Bjorn526 · Answer

Yes, but only if you aren’t playing, you are actually that curious and distracted by your interests, then it works, because it’s just how it is.

Jassyw · Answer

It wouldn't work with me, if a guy was playing hard to get, I would just assume he wasn't interested and I'd move on

Beserkerman8 · Answer

No because I would assume she is far to stubborn for me and move on quickly. Dont fake yourself.

savalisk · Answer

Very rarely. You can only play a game on hard mode for so long until you get tired of it and move on.

martin84444 · Answer

It works even for me in my mid 30s. Just do not play so much games. But not so much just that I find out that girl is not easy to get for everyone.

Ayer93 · Answer

I will maybe introduce myself to someone I find attractive (whether it be physical attraction or personality), but if they seem to have no interest, I'm gone. Simple as that.

Does playing hard to get actually work?

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