Would you dump this dude?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys, my boyfriend was mad at me today and he has been recently getting nastier every time he gets mad at me. Today I just complained and said that I wished I got to spend more time with him last night (I get off work late sometimes and work two jobs currently while it's summer break) and he thought I was "trying to argue" and went on a verbal tirade against me, and got angrier and angrier, to the point where he said "I want to find someone better than you to date" "I hate arguing, I am sick of arguing with you" (while continuing to contrive and singlehandedly carry on an argument and be hateful while I calmly spoke to him) "being with you is like having a job that you hate, it's a hassle" called me "fucking" retarded, stupid repeatedly like a little kid bashing a pinata to take their anger out, and he even said "have you noticed that every time I get mad at you it gets worse?" in a tone as if he is PROUD of being vengeful, very disgusting and pathetic to be honest. He said "pack your shit and leave, I don't want to be with you" he has done this in the past then not even hours or a day later said sorry then later tried to play victim as he did today and accuse me of trying to argue with him and said something along the lines of "I'm sorry for being mean but it was all your fault because I can't handle arguing with you" and with his chest, proudly said he cannot control what he says when he is mad so it is up to me to not say things "that I know will piss him off", what do you think of this guy?

[HollyK21]

You literally listed every single reason why you should already be out of that relationship. Abuse isn’t always physical, it’s verbal too, and while I’m sure you’ve said some not so nice things too (accountability is important), there are several lines being crossed here and the dynamic you two have is tragically toxic. One thing I’ve learned over the years in dating is that it requires a soldier’s mentality, which means knowing when to go in, and knowing when to get out. It’s time to stop making excuses for this situation that is only going downhill, find your courage, and walk away.

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you expecting him to change at some point in the future, or do you really want to live like this for the rest of your fucking miserable life? Get the idea?

[Asker]

I get the idea, thanks for the tough love. He started off love bombing me and really manipulated me into believing he is the good guy and everything is my fault, but this was too much hate in one day and I just want confirmation now from others that I am making the right decision taking his advice and blind siding him by taking off

[OlderAndWiser]

I can remember being in a relationship and being so blind that I really needed to be hit in the head to wake up and see what was happening. Good luck!

[Asker]

Very true, I value you speaking from experience. We get one precious life, I am 26 and have ample opportunity to find a good day and dont want to waste it

[Asker]

a good guy*

[OlderAndWiser]

You got that right!

[exitseven]

yes, dump him. It will only get worse.