Dumb question but why is it such a struggle for a guy to get a girlfriend?

Question

It’s gotten to the point where it’s like why do I even bother asking a girl I have a crush on to hang out. If I’m able to get a phone number which I got most likely because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings from somewhere I volunteer at or messaging from a dating app, I’ll get a few messages and then get ghosted. I read somewhere that women are only attracted to 20% of men. Maybe there is some truth to that.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

once you get further along in the life cycle, and examine life from female viewpoint... maybe with some religion behind it or wisdom, this will make lots of sense.

Here's the bottom line... the woman needs a strong male, or whatever it is she needs. But she needs strength and male... not wounded child. Why? Just wait until one two or three babies show up... she doesn't need her man to be the 4th, she's already going to be an emotionally variable stressed human.

So... she is doing what she naturally does and is programmed deep deep into her psychy... filter out the weaker undeveloped makes in favor of a strong one. So... your job is to heal your inner self, develop your inner "man" and offer that to her. she WILL respond better when she sees that. Online is awful except for those highly skilled.

the other side of this is you are drawn to the wrong women and need to exa, ine your attraction (sub conscious programming).

this is in essence... nature. it is not hopeless, you have to grow and learn...

if you think this is hard... wait til the next stages. Also hard, but equal in discovery, growth and success is yours. you must learn!

CallmeTheKnight · Accepted Answer

80/20 is cap bro. The red pill and incels push that to discourage men. Most of them have no legit experience in success with women, only escorts. You mean to tell me that women only desire 20% of men and are getting knocked up by deadbeats a lot.
However, let's not deny the fact that a lot of women choose to make things difficult as well.
If you're gonna approach a woman, approach with the intention on getting to know her. If you have an end goal in mind, you gonna always mess up.
When I talk to women, I'll give them my number if I'm interested, but besides that, I just talk to them.

If you're in shape, taking care of your responsibilities, and make yourself available from time to time, then you should have no problem.

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

Oh please. Don’t buy into that 80/20 BS. That’s incel nonsense.

Be brave. Ask girls out. Be genuine, which is a lot more attractive then regular neutral one liners. Tell the woman something that is on your mind. Why she caught your attention. Being slightly different makes you stand out. Woman want honesty, it gains trust early on. Let woman know your (decent) thoughts. They’ll be more likely to tell you theirs.

Sarahplus2 · Accepted Answer

It's about self confidence in yourself and the type of women you are dating. How you treat them and how you act. You don't need to be rich or some dashing movie star or model , but you need to be someone who takes care of himself.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Women have grossly overinflated senses of self worth now. 90% of women are waiting for the top 10% of men to chase them and either ignoring the rest or using them until they get a better offer.
That leaves 80% of men struggling. Any man with a decent sense of self worth and a few standards on which he won’t compromise is sentenced to the single life indefinitely. You can lower your standards, or simp for a woman who will certainly leave you sooner or later. Or you can focus on yourself, your own interests, and your relationships with family and friends. It’s a mathematical certainty that the majority of women who think they’re too good for you now will return eventually. You should be confident enough in yourself to reject them in favor of higher quality women when that time comes.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I think the easiest way to explain why it's so hard is that a lot of men struggle with social skills, especially where women are concerned, and young women have a lot of dating options, so they know another option will present itself soon enough.

It also doesn't help that a lot of men don't handle women's critiques very well and most women don't want to deal with that uncomfortable interaction, if they don't need to. Women just don't have much reason or incentive to be patient and explain to a weird guy why he's turning her off, when there are other (more desirable) men immediately available. The result is that young men are stuck in a situation where they have no clue what they're doing wrong and no one will tell them.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Women are bitches! That's a quote from a girl I knew. Good guys have a hard time because women generally want a 10 and will never settle for anything less. Good guys have to complete with assholes who have more confidence because they abuse others around them and get off on it. So basically good guys either give up or find a woman who is either smart enough to not be into bad boys because of their abusive natures or have been abused enough to learn to leave and go for a good guy. Remember nice guys finish last. So we'll always be the last one on their list.

Anonymous · Answer

IMHO you're too close to the problem. Young women are usually the flakiest. I always tell guys if you haven't found a partner by 25 just stop trying. What's left at that point is just the scraps anyhow. And most really don't know what they want. After a decade or 2 when their options start running out then they start getting more serious about relationships. I don't even ask women out. I wait and they come to me.

In short man stop trying so hard. Just have fun. And enjoy your life. A girlfriend isn't going to define you. Nor should she.

Anonymous · Answer

dating is somewhat of a struggle if your not sure what your doing , as you say it seems like girls are only interested in a small % of the actual men out there or at least they'd prefer to date those men over others

i think a lot of guys forget too that you only need 1 good lead for dating to suddenly seem like a huge success story , too many are focused on trying to meet many different girls not just find that 1 good option which is attainable and realistic

hyperben · Answer

because women can be really, REALLY picky, I think its worse now as everything is so sugary sweet on IG/tiktok etc, real humans with real bodies/faces dont meet expectations. I think men have simpler attraction mechanisms to women

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Because girls are so god damned picky!! If you aren't filthy rich and a major league bastard at heart that beats the shit out of them, they don't want you!

Iron_Man · Answer

Because he has to bring a lot to the table fancy car fancy house money traveling trips nice clothes you just can’t be a high school guy and take on a serious girl in her 20s and 30s

LazerBean · Answer

Usually a mixture of being weird and looking unclean.

Shamalien · Answer

It can be tough once you get older. Highschool or college is the best time to meet one, after that, dating apps are where most people meet but they are so, soooo bad for men. Gotta pump some cash into them and take good photos

Anonymous · Answer

Simple. For a woman to get interest, attention, and date she just needs to look like someone. But for a guy to get a girlfriend he has to be someone.

Ehjoh1 · Answer

Getting a girlfriend just comes on your path. You won't really find it by looking out for it.

Phoenix98 · Answer

It's not hard to get a partner what's hard is finding and getting the right one.

slatyb · Answer

It was no problem for me after my divorce, and I’m not all that special.

boobliker · Answer

go out to get sex not a girlfriend them you find one she will be there they come along all the time for me and i am 68+

lexluther1423 · Answer

Not a dumb question at all. It's a lot of factors that can play apart in it. But it all starts with how you present yourself to her.

Jltakk · Answer

Unfortunately questions like these are taboo in modern society. Its an issue, but nope, sweep it under the "just ramp up self confidence" rug.

TonightYouu · Answer

Average women think they’re better than average men

baserunner611 · Answer

True, American girl believe in fairy tale, prince show for them

maximumpower · Answer

Not hard to get one; however, it IS hard to get one worth a damn.

Guy13 · Answer

Dating has changed for the worse…

isoterminal2060 · Answer

At your age. Why is i f just t z stretch

Twalli · Answer

People have standards that you don't meet.

Dumb question but why is it such a struggle for a guy to get a girlfriend?

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