These responses show how warped our society is they wouldn’t be saying that if the roles were reversed I actually stopped going to the gym and only workout at the park now for the same reason
Where do I sign up to this gym?
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Okay, my first reaction to this, honestly, was to laugh. Which I did. And I was considering writing "hahaha." Because who isn't strong enough to withstand being looked at (which is a form of admiring, of appreciation.)
But then I decided to read the other replies. And one girl said, "And what if the genders were reversed here? Then what would the reaction be?" She's right. It is a double standard.
So I have a friend. He's very attractive, and I'm not the only one who thinks this. He sometimes tells me about the interactions he has, the looks he's given, the way he gets touched sometimes by strangers (they find excuses), the notes that get written to him asking him out (not in class; on his car windshield.) The other day he got catcalled, and not only that, the girls on the upper deck of a tour bus yelled out "We want to fuuuuck you!" Pretty aggressive, no? It's a compliment in some ways. All of this is, including yours, Asker. But it's also pretty inappropriate to be breaching that fifth wall, encroaching on one's personal bubble, invading one's space, and sort of privacy, like this. Well, it's not privacy, per se, because people are in the public space, but if the genders were reversed on any of this, people would pretty much be unanimous in agreement - yeah, they should back off, it's not right. It's intrusive.
A respectful comment or compliment, or a smile, or a glance, are all different than a leer, an ogle, a grab, or a catcall. That, everyone should agree on. Discomfort is not necessarily the marker, because different people have different levels of discomfort. But not being respectful is wrong, whichever gender you are. Invading peoples' space is wrong.
I had a friend who was an exotic dancer. We met dating, but weren't right for each other, and instead later became friends. He asked me one time if I would help him out and drive him out of town, for a show he was doing, in a club. (Ladies' night.) He asked not just for a ride, but also protection. He said the girls get "unruly" or something, sometimes. "If you pretend to be my girlfriend, it would help me out." "Sure, ok," I eventually said. I was reluctant at first, but he convinced me the roleplay would be fun. Plus, we sort of knew what that would be like, us dating.
Anyway, to not make this too long, point of the story is that they did ogle him, grab him, get pretty wild, drunk, all that. I sat close by, rather composed as I am, just watching. I clapped and cheered him on now and then. A girl came and sat down next to me. "Are you his girlfriend?" she asked. "Yep." "So... what's that like? What's it like having a stripper as your boyfriend? Omg, you must be so secure and confident, not to get jealous and stuff..." I played along. I spoke as I would normally, about jealousy, freedom, autonomy, his interest in fitness, acting, entertaining. (Primarily, he was an entertainer at heart. The clothes coming off was just one avenue to express this.) The thing was, she was respectful to me, and to him, once she 'figured out' who I was (who she thought I was.) I was a shield, a protector. It worked just as he had planned.
And this is how people are. People by themselves, and people not with someone of the opposite sex, are presumed to be single; or presumed to be open to advances from others. Often it's the very best looking people that get approached. Average is sort of... not all that inspiring, in the same way. So if you are near the top of the bell curve, you just get more hits. Should you be bitter about this? Probably not. Do you have a right to be upset sometimes, when people cross boundaries of decency and act like you are a piece of meat on display, or something that they can touch, or have? Yes, you do have that right. Doesn't matter if you are male, black, or anything else. Everyone knows it's all a form of a compliment, so that's why you don't get much sympathy. But you deserve as much respect, and distance, as anyone else who does not attract as much attention. You (presumably, if you're not exaggerating or misinterpreting what you described), and my other two male friends past and present, all experience a double standard, where if you did the same, you would probably be labelled, whether openly or not, a creep. Not all guys want constant sexual attention. That's a myth that some people still have yet to learn.
(And now I will skip over the fact that you made this about race, with the "white women" comment. You're welcome. I'll give you the benefit of much doubt here and say that maybe you feel like they are fetishizing you, and certainly not everyone likes that.)
And this same guy will be on here later complaining about why he cannot find a woman willing to date him, LOL.
Good grief anon, if it bothers you, just ignore them? Better still, if they're supposedly staring at you, it could be how you're dressed: are you wearing clothes that show off your figure? Wear baggy or loose fitting clothing.
It could be your form (yeah, we notice bad form too). Either way, I cannot speak for all women, but I wouldn't care. Or pick a different time to go to to the gym when it's less people there to stare at you.
-Go to a male only gym
Or - see a therapist. If you think you're being watched by random people, this is serious. It could be a sign of paranoia
I'll bet you wake up from those dreams in a puddle of drool.
Stop bragging…you’re not fooling anyone. And yes, we know you are not you either especially given you too do not know who or what you are ANON 🙄
I've seen replies and I'm not comfortable with it, race aside, if gender is reversed the responded would've been so much different!
You really need therapy, posting this shit really points to a fucked up mind.
book in for therapy and get help.
Why does his bother you? Women may reasonably feel threatened by a man leering at them. Men don’t have much to fear from admiring women.
Oh please, give us a fucking break ! How big is your god damn ego? Get a life.
Haha this made me laugh. I once told a group of girls on what they looking at. They all looked away.
why do you think it's white women that are the issue? what about the black women that are looking at you? maybe you got someone attracted to you? lucky you because I have no one attracted to me at the gym
u Why don’t you wear a tank top shirt that says I don’t wanna date white women leave me alone
I'm sure if you just talked to them, that would be enough to make them lose interest.
What dobu mean by "white women" you obnoxious gym freak.
Sorry you have to deal with it. Your earlier to date then any other race. You could find different gym or wear a fake wedding ring
Are you there to workout or look at who’s looking at you? Get on with your workout-
dang. again, bro? You gonna post this bs once a week now? 🤣 Fits the definition of spamming and trolling quite well.
Get a black woman to workout with you or at least in your vicinity.
Take your butt plug out.
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