Since men want women to shoot their shot more, how do we do that?

[Justneedtokno]

Ask you out on a date pay for the date and expect sex after lol joking I’m shy goofy I don’t know how to do this

[Sixgunsound]

Be a real person who demonstrably doesn’t like or have any interest in games. If you don’t want a relationship but just want free drinks or dinner then don’t waste guys time. If your idea of a relationship doesn’t include even a good night kiss till you’ve got a ring on it, let that be known from the beginning. There are guys out there who respect that, but leading someone who isn’t about that life on then disappointing them just gets everyone angry. Be flirty and suggestive, if you’re going to do something about it. If you aren’t going to do something about it, you might consider emphasizing other assets, such as loyalty honor faith if that’s your thing, skills you bring to the table, etc. not on the first date, but if you eventually want a long-term relationship and kids or at minimum marriage, find a way to bring that up that isn’t needy or desperate or too soon. Men as a general rule are straightforward, blunt, and don’t like wasting time and resources on something that isn’t going anywhere. Date with a purpose, not because you’re lonely. If you’re just lonely, almost any guy who is of age and single can help you out with that as long as you don’t want anything more.

[VIVANT]

Don’t most people date bc they are lonely? What other incentive is there?

I didn’t date so I’m just guessing

[Sixgunsound]

@VIVANT marriage? If you aren’t looking for a future then don’t call it dating be honest about just wanting a hookup.

[VIVANT]

People get married to not be lonely. And who has sex for loneliness? That would seem like something that would make you feel far more lonely— to have random sex 🤔

Dating is spending time with someone in a way that’s diff then friendship but can include friendship and doesn’t necessarily include sex do I don’t see what marriage has to do with dating unless that’s why you date. But for many people saying is not about sex whether they marry or not.

[VIVANT]

(Dating* not saying )

[Sixgunsound]

@VIVANT LOTS of people think sex equals love or have it to avoid boredom or loneliness. Dating just to be dating someone without an end goal in mind seems to me to be a waste of time and resources, and as the person expected to pay for the dates, if it is no longer socially acceptable to expect return on investment in the form of a meaningful relationship that is going somewhere or at a minimum physical contact, there doesn’t seem to be a reason to invest time or resources for nothing.

[Sixgunsound]

I invested time and resources into dating my (future) wife at the time we met because she wanted a relationship that was going somewhere. If she didn’t want a meaningful relationship there would not have been enough return on investment to justify dating.

[VIVANT]

I don’t like money involved in dates and I don’t understand why it is part of dating seems really odd like purchasing someone’s tone just go to an escort 🤷🏻‍♀️

It really is shocking to me anyone would have non committed sex for loneliness bc for sure they will feel worse after this should be obvious to anyone you will feel more lonely plus used or just empty if you didn’t like the person.

Unless you both really JUST want sex it will feel terrible.

Dating to get to know someone is a common goal. Marriage is a vial but not the only goal. Getting to know someone can be very gratifying 😊

[Sixgunsound]

@VIVANT I don’t mean just investing money, I also mean investing emotions, investing time, investing hope, etc.

[VIVANT]

Hmm I understand if you already know you want to marry then for sure, dating someone wishy washy would be a negative move. But investing yourself into the development of something unknown, I don’t think this is necessarily bad of can be positive if both people genuinely are getting to know each other. I mostly agree with you I just don’t think but dating necessarily for marriage automatically makes it fake and useless.

Some people don’t even know they want to get married until they meet the right person but it doesn’t mean they are using anyone they date. I think you can have good intentions even if Barry ever isn’t a sure goal but I also completely understand a person who definitely wants to marry, not wanting to date people who dont know if they want to marry 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT @Sixgunsound I agree with basically everything that both of you said. I commend you both for your constructive dialogue. :)

[VIVANT]

@Jamie05rhs

😂 thank you, I think it was well balanced

[Sixgunsound]

This is an example of the actual conversation that I was hoping for when I first signed up.

[Chazmatazz269]

Just be perfectly clear when you are interested in a man. No games, no insinuations, no hints, and don’t rely on body language AT ALL. ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex. With new affirmative consent laws, a woman has to clearly say “Yes, i want to have sex with you, (insert full name). Without that, every man, including MARRIED men, is now a rapist. No joke. Look that shit up.
There is no more room for subtlety in dating and sex. So just use your words loudly and clearly. Fortunately, most men don’t demand subtlety in “romance” the way women do. So you can get away with saying and doing anything. In fact, the pending affirmative consent laws do not protect men at all. So if you want to fuck a man who doesn’t seem to want you in return, you can just threaten to accuse him of rape if he doesn’t do exactly as you please. Either he lets you rape him, or he goes to prison and lets Bubba rape him. Either way, you win! Ell oh ell!

[VIVANT]

I’d just ask him out to something neutral- I don’t like money getting involved with strangers anyhow. Bit of he wanted to do so ehhh g that cost money I don’t see any problem with paying my way and he his... I’d do that whether I asked or he asked.. money between friends is not a big deal but strangers dk it’s uncomfortable. We want to spend time together not purchase each other lol

Anyhow, main thing is just asking out 🙂

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree with most of this except for the "something neutral" part. Because then he might not think it's a date and the girl might get friendzoned.

[Pinay_ako]

I’d try to ask him a question to get him to notice me? And go from there? Like hi, how are you? Are you tired? 🤣

Him: No, why?

Me: coz you’ve been running 🏃‍♀️ in my mind the whole time and I wanna know if you wanna go grab coffee with me?

Him: 🥹🥹🥹🥹

If he says no, I’ll just say ok 💔 but at least I tried 😝

[Lionman95]

Who says you need to ask out a guy on a date right away? I think one of the biggest issues many guys nowadays face is that we have literally no clue if a woman likes or is just polite. Get comfortable being around guys and find ways to show them your interest. That already brings you in a vulnerable position.

But chances are that he will take over if he gets interested in you because he now knows that the interest is mutual and therefore he might have less problems taking the lead.

That way you don´t need to ask him out for a date or ask him to go out with you.

[VIVANT]

It can be preferable to just ask, that way we aren’t wasting time

[Justneedtokno]

Honestly we’re in the same boat nowadays they’ll be guys that are in relationships willing to cheat with you too just have sex and in the beginning we don’t know if you’re just being nice to be nice or you Like us. Within the short chance that other stuff might be hidden in there to

[Lionman95]

@VIVANT Sure it was more meant as an idea to put you under less pressure, plus I was coming from the premise that you don´t a guy at all or you just met occasionally.

[VIVANT]

Thats fair 😊😊

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Just fucking ask.

It's the same as for men.

Don't try to play games. You're in real life, not a Hollywood chick flick.

Be open, be straight forward, and follow through.

[TryMeBee]

Hey I like you (or you seem like a great guy, if you wanna be less direct). Wanna meet up sometime for coffee/movie/dinner/bowling/etc and get to know each other better?

[RandomGuy1030]

"No thanks ".

[TryMeBee]

@RandomGuy1030 okay. See you around.

[RandomGuy1030]

Perfect...

[genericname85]

well is there anything particularly wrong with expecting sex? xD you're not waiting till marriage are you? what about "girls just wanna have fun"?

as for how: just be straight up tell them how you feel and what you want. nothing wrong with that.

[Justneedtokno]

Whoa whoa that’s too much

[genericname85]

what do you mean too much? xD

[Justneedtokno]

No just a bunch of questions at once celibacy is hard and I would like to remain doing that and yeah expecting sex seems rude instead of getting to know that person you just want sex at the end of it it doesn’t seem like you really wanted to be there for anything.

[genericname85]

you're getting to know each other to have sex eventually xD that's the entire point. and expecting people to be celibate considering that most don't choose to do that is unreasonable :P

[Justneedtokno]

It’s not for you to be celibate it’s for myself and on top of it I’m getting to know you not because of just sex potentially partner and maybe marriage like real stuff sex is just one thing in a relationship

[genericname85]

i know but in the "normal" dating world, everyone has sex, so that's to be expected.

[Jamie05rhs]

@genericname85 Not everyone has to be the same.

[genericname85]

@Jamie05rhs i was never speaking about "everyone". but about stuff that's rare and stuff that can be expected.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. But you shouldn't pressure her to fit into your own worldview.

[genericname85]

@Jamie05rhs i didn't. Go white knighting somewhere else.

[Jamie05rhs]

@genericname85 She's my friend. Just don't mess with her; that's all I ask. Thanks

[genericname85]

@Jamie05rhs i don't care if you're her friend. she's a grown ass adult woman. she doesn't need some dude to talk for her.

[genericname85]

@Jamie05rhs besides i didn't even do anything of the shit you are saying. so go look for a real problem to fight.

[SolitarySolace]

Us men had to figure it out. Now you women have to do the same

[Justneedtokno]

But why

[SolitarySolace]

Because we men are done doing it ourselves

[Justneedtokno]

So y’all stop trying y’all don’t want us

[Jamie05rhs]

@Justneedtokno Basically.

[DannyUk2017]

Go on a date, has to be someone super cute/nice/turn on sexy for you, when time is right (sex i mean)... Sit on his face, grind urself on him, you will cum/climax so much i'm sure He will be... SURPRISED!.
SAVAGE!!! Isn't it? 😈😈😈

[JDavid25]

It won't be hard.. Just go up to a guy you fancy ask for his name, and just say that you think he's cute and would like his number and maybe to meet up sometime soon.

[MCheetah]

Just go out and flirt with a man you like and show interest. Women have the easy parts (in everything, really). It's not hard to figure out.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/C9ONWHXCsrk

[OnlinePeanut22]

Guys can't even see flirting very easy.

[MCheetah]

@OnlinePeanut22
It's not flirting that's the hard part. It's living up to women's impossible standards and being physically "good enough" for them, that's the hard part.

[OnlinePeanut22]

I don't have impossible standards but men also do with learning disabilities.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Simple:
1: never ask out strangers.
2: only ask out friends you relate too and share interests with.
3: if you aren't into any of your friends, make more friends.
4. don't be subtle with flirting ever, be obvious.

[Fa1con]

"Hey man, you wanna go to/try (X activity or place) sometime?" If they ask why just say something along the lines of you think they're nice or you want to get to know them better or that you like spending time with them.

[Anonymous]

Honestly just start a conversation. I will admit I'm in the same place with you as shy and awkward. And for a first date I wouldn't expect the woman to pay fully if she asked me out I'd want to split the bill.

I kinda think that's how all early dating should be done spliting the bill.

[Philyouup]

your not a
Prostitute. prostitute you don’t have to sleep with anyone for bonnet
or drinks. if he expects it, tell him to sod off and burn his number.

[Philyouup]

dinner or drinks*. hate we can’t edit.

[Stevefiveo]

I don't think it has to be that extreme but it is nice when it happens. But if you want someone, let them know. Whether it is flirting or asking out.

[Waldoe]

I think it simply means to "make the first move" that can mean just saying "Hi, I'm Sally, what's your name"

[Twalli]

Just ask us out if you like us. Yes, you may get rejected, but when guys do the asking they can get rejected too.

[EaterPeter]

However you can, make bold moves. Get way out of your comfort zone.

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[FilmGuy93]

Just say "hi" and don't be a spazz.

[Jamie05rhs]

You just say, "Hey! I like you." That's it. Easy Peasy!

[Juxtapose]

Just tell the guy how you really feel and ask if he wants to get to know you.

[OnlinePeanut22]

I did that also. Didn't work out.

[Juxtapose]

@OnlinePeanut22 then those aren't the right guys. I can tell you right now it works on me.

[VIVANT]

Yeah anyone can get rejected- that doesn’t mean what you’re doing is wrong. If someone is intereste, then letting them know you are interested, should work 😊

[OnlinePeanut22]

I kept finding no right guys. Just taken guys that I got all the time. In real. That is why I am doing online dating for one reason.

[Anonymous]

As a female you would simply show interest, let him know you think he is attractive.

Women have about a 90% shot of her intentions being met positively.