How likely is my relationship with a guy 14 years younger to last long term? What can we do to make it more likely to make it long term?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating a much younger guy (14 years younger) for about 5 months. I was super hesitant/worried at first because of the age gap. However, the issues I thought might happen because he's so much younger haven't been problems at all. We're very compatible maturity wise, he's completely willing to commit, he's got a masters degree/solid career (so he's not a money digger), he's got a masters degree and a solid career (not a money digger), and he's loyal to me (and not pursuing younger women). As I said, he's already got a solid career. Moreover, we're both on the same page in terms of wanting kids (which is extremely important, as I don't have kids yet still super badly want at least one (preferably two)). Moreover, I've always had a ton of energy, so his age actually makes him much more compatible to me in terms of energy/adventure level. Also, our bedroom chemistry, compatibility, and (powerful) mutual attraction/interest is off the charts.

On top of all that, he's easily the best relationship I've ever had. He's constantly making me laugh. Time flies when I'm with him. He's incredibly supportive and encouraging. We're always honest with one another. He always makes me laugh. He's always there when I need him. There's some much affection between us. I know we love each other deeply.

The one thing that's still really bothering me is if this can last long term. When I'm 60 and he's 46 will I still be able to keep up with him? Will we still be super compatible in bed? Will he still be attracted to me? When I get old will my frailties be an issue?

I do think these may not be as big of an issue for us as other age gap couples. I've always been pretty great about keeping myself in excellent shape/physical condition. Consequently, these things may be less problematic for us. However, I'm still kind of worried. What are the chances you think the relationship can work out long term? What do you think we could do to make it more likely for it to work out long term?

[Haha456]

ok. so there will be no negative consequences for you marrying someone significantly younger. The problems will likely be faced by the younger party. When you're 60 and he is only 45. Likely there will be problems regardless of how well you take care of yourself. A man at the age of 45 is still very young, full of energy and likely still has an active sex drive. A 60 yr old senior citizen likely wouldn't have much of a sex drive. He likely wouldn't even be physically attracted to you either. You both likely wouldn't be doing same activities together. At some point, he will be slowing down so you can catch up with him in a walk in the park. He may want to travel to many different countries for vacation while you are more interested in a quiet cruise.

These things will happen regardless of how well you take care of yourself. You can slow aging but you cannot prevent aging. 75% of aging has to do with genetics. Its something that is largely beyond your control.

Ask him if he can tolerate these things in the future. If not, tell him to not pursue.

Its been proven through studies that couples with large age gaps tend to have bigger decreases in marital satisfaction within the first 6-10 years than couples with a smaller age gap. These marriages are also less resilient in times of financial stress. Divorce rates also tend to be higher.

[Asker]

But do you think there's anything I/we can do to make it more likely for us to work out long term (even though we have a major age gap)?

[Haha456]

its more of a matter of personal tolerance. can he be able to tolerate it? its a hard question to ask but its very important that you get his answer. There are some people who CAN tolerate it. While others who can't. Generally speaking, most people wouldn't be able to tolerate it.

Aging largely has to do with genetics. Much of it is beyond your control. Things like getting enough sleep, eating healthy will help out but there are really no guarantees. There is no magic fountain of youth except in disney movies.

Many of these people are say that they will never ever age if they take care of themselves. But what if you don't end up feeling / looking like 50 by the time you hit 60?
how can you predict so accurately that you will look and feel 10 years younger?

[Anonymous]

if I were you, I'd go for it. stop thinking about the future, because many couples who married to older or Same age guys , caused some issues which will ruin the marriage.

[Asker]

But what do you think I/we should do to make it more likely for us to work out long term (even though we have a major age gap)?

[Anonymous]

I’m just waiting for all the feminist women to come screaming yelling pedophile or creep…oh wait you’re a woman so it doesn’t count 😂. What do you think will help make it last? Dominate him in bed. You are the older person, so fuck him like you are experienced. Show him why an older woman is so much better than a young beautiful girl. You have 14 years of knowledge he doesn’t. Use it to your advantage to keep him. Those young bitches are still new to the game. They might not go that extra length to please them or find things to do together. You have any hidden cooking skills? You know the best gifts? You know how to turn him on and make him lust for you? What about dating? Fun places you’ve been he hasn’t? What is most important to men in a woman to marry? They want a girl who can cook, has great sex, and loyal to them.

[Asker]

He's a grown man, so it's not pedophilia. Besides, he wants sex with me about as much as I want sex with him. It's not me manipulating him at all.

[Opinion Owner]

Yea I know…t’s just if the roles were reversed people would be calling the guy a pedo for preying on a girl 14 years younger. That’s my point.

[Anonymous]

What if you two hate each other 5 years from now. You could do "what ifs" all day. And if it fails it'll probably the "what if" you never saw coming. You say that you guys are compatible. If I was to worry about anything I'd worry that you're not just BELIEVING you're compatible. When we develop feelings for someone we have a tendency to see things that we WANT to be that actually aren't. No amount of compatibility is going to change your age difference. And regardless statistics are NOT in your favor. Not in your favor but not impossible. So, I'm just going to wish you two "GOOD LUCK"!

[Asker]

I'm completely confident we're super compatible now. My concern is if that compatibility will last long term

[tony_baloney]

My friend is married to a woman who is 12 years older than him. She was his college professor and they're married with two kids now. I'm sure it can work

[Asker]

Do you know how they made it work? Is there anything they did that you think helped them work through the major age gap? (especially when it comes to the long term relationship)

[Avicenna]

Keeping yourself in good physical shape definitely is a must, but also maintaining a positive outlook on life. It can definitely last long term between you.

[ElementoP]

I would say yes, but we'll see how well it goes when he's only 36 and you're 50 approaching menopause

Don't be surprised if he falls in love with a 25 year old dancer and leaves you in 10 years

[Berethor]

If you want kids then you should hurry up, soon it would be too late for that.

[EaterPeter]

Structured premarital counseling. Lastin app.

[anylolone]

Depends...

[Asker]

on what?

[anylolone]

First, how's your relationship now.
If you both share goals.
It's seems to be great now.

When it comes to when you are 60...
No, you most likely won't be able to keep up with him. (energy wise)
I don't think that will be a problem.