Can too much love in a relationship become suffocating?

Question

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

What some people see as "too much love" is actually runaway insecurity. I know a couple where the wife is gorgeous and her husband is OK looking but really over the top insecure about his wife. This has the effect of smothering her and stifling her. She can't go anywhere without him. If she goes out with her girlfriends, he tags along as the only husband present. He hovers within arms reach of her constantly and inserts himself into her conversations. The result is she sees him as an annoying insecure marshmallow and a humiliating wimp. She has near zero respect for him and lets it show openly. When I see her alone and ask where he is I get "who cares". He's always arriving no more than 2 min behind her. She flirts with me constantly and has let me know she wants an affair with me. When she's in the room with me, her husband is generally having a meltdown. She compares me to him to his face. And she's asked for my number in front of him. So yeah, "too much love" may not be love at all but massive insecurity. And it can absolutely kill any attraction.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

It absolutely can be. It's called smothering, and although you're in a relationship and you love the person, when they just keep fawning over you or always needing to hug you, kiss you, and adore you it can be very annoying, especially if they're in the middle of something. Nothing wrong with doing those things, but you don't need to do it all day every day. You will just push the other person away.

There is a reason why being "clingy" irritates a lover and can put the relationship in jeopardy. Ever notice how some people will draw closer to a lover when they aren't getting a ton of attention from the other person? It's the opposite of clingy-ness. They feel a lack of it and like they're losing their mate, even though their mate is not necessarily neglecting to give them love and attention because they're drifting away, it could be because of other things going on with them.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

Some people who love us so much like to show it a lot sometimes.
I am thrilled when a man loves me a lot, but like when I am trying to cook, I don't like him to keep wanting me to hug 🫂 with him. I want to cook!!

If he says "I love you" 25+ times a day, it gets on my nerves. 🤦🏼‍♀️

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Lol. I’d it feels suffocating then (1) it’s not love (2) one of you is obsessed and the other just isn’t into it.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to decode all the messy, magical, and sometimes chaotic parts of love for you.

Yes, love can absolutely become suffocating. When affection turns into constant checking, controlling, or never giving you space, it stops being romantic and starts being a red flag.

Healthy love breathes. You need freedom, alone time, and your own life. Too much “clinginess” feels like emotional lovebombing, not real connection.

ohsheeT · Answer

To much of anything can be suffocating I think there's a time and place for everything  or just the way to go about it and it's fine  But again There's real love and then there's clinginess love

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If it is truly love and not something else, it does not become suffocating.

gasman70 · Answer

it isn't about the love at that point, you're then asking if the obsession with you gets out of hand, how do you handle it. Because this doesn't sound like love, it sounds like you found someone who feeds your ego and worship you and you're willing to accept it and feed into it but then when it gets to be too much for you, you feel suffocated. True love would never see the love as suffocating. Love isn't suffocating, Love is the advantage of having two people that are mutually into each other, in sync, and hopefully as close to 50 50 as possible, even though there's almost always someone who is more in love than the other.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Some people seem to think so. I've yet to hit my breaking point and doubt I ever will. My girlfriend says it's one of the reasons her ex broke up with her and she's been worried that she might be too much for me, but so far, it's looking like I'M the one that might be too clingy! But, I give her room to breathe, if she needs it.

lightbulb27 · Answer

depends what love means here, but in general, too much of anything can be bad. some space is good sometimes. question is if it's good for the other person or troubling. what's the cause of the troubles...

all relationships require some give and take.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

If it is suffocating then it probably lies more along the lines of a psychological problem rather than love. I experienced this with a lady who I dated over 20 years ago. I could never get through to her that her attention was unwanted and suffocating. She eventually got into therapy. I was able to exit the relationship without having to get a restraining order. I would see the red flags sooner now. It was not a pleasant experience.

Anonymous · Answer

The short answer is yes.
But it's complicated, how much time you are investing in?
Does your partner have breathing room?
Do you love your partner more then he loves you?
Most of the people who I know, men are the one who are overly invested in there relationships.
And women aren't.
This changes when it's outside of my bubble, I do have women who loves there partner more too, but the ratio is bigger then i imagined.
Well you also have to define time, money, amount of attention.
If he/she is stressed and wants time for themselves it's not wrong.
If you are giving them, that's the point.
Love is difficult and different for everyone, each couple have there own dynamics and it's hard to maintain it.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Oh yes it can, when: You're not that much invested in this relationship You wonder if this relationship does you any good You feel idolised more than loved You're in trouble with the sentiment of love

ChiTown33 · Answer

Probably depends on the person. I've never felt that way. But i imagine it happens.

I think this is why everyone needs to have interests outside their partner. Your partner should still always be your first priority so to speak. But you cannot expect someone to exist just for your feelings. That's not even healthy.

rose_noire · Answer

Yes.

Love itself doesn't suffocate.

What suffocates is love mixed with fear. Fear of losing, fear of not being enough.

When that happens, love turns into monitoring, constant reassurance, no space to breathe.

Real love is generous. It gives room. It trusts the other person to come back on their own.

Screenwriter · Answer

Hard to evaluate "too much." But perhaps you mean spending too much time together and being "joined at the hip."

Some of this is the first blush of romance syndrome, that naturally wanes. But if one or the other person wants their personal time and space to themselves, that seems more healthy than ALWAYS being together. But this will vary person to person, couple to couple.

If the situation feels suffocating, then you have an issue you need to work out.

Anonymous · Answer

Well I guess if it's too touchy feely and lovey dovey with no room to breath.

Too much endless affection after affection.

Can be really fun at first in a new relationship especially if it's your very first relationship but can quickly become suffocating and you'll find it a relief when you can just hang out with your friends and family again who are not touchy feely.

rachel776 · Answer

. .

Nikki1989 · Answer

When it becomes over-dependence or control, sure, it can be a problem. You can love something to death but still give each other space.

browsingthroughthe · Answer

I think that woman who posted the Bedazzled clip of over sensitive guy, sold it pretty well about "the why behind why"  Some clingy is good - not 100 💯

jshm2 · Answer

It wouldn't be "love" then, would it?  The whole idea of "love" is to be on a personal level with the person.

ElenaLena · Answer

Some people can’t love and they never been in love and don’t understand love.. so of course they will translate love to suffocation..

queenofcardio · Answer

Definitely , especially if you don't feel the same

BCRanger10 · Answer

I'll need to know what "too much love" is and what it looks like. Personally, I don't see how that's possible.

NathanDavis · Answer

no...  it's usually something else, we confuse with love...

exitseven · Answer

I do not think that too much love can be bad but somebody is too possessive it can be a problem

Kassandra1994 · Answer

Not really want to know what really is suffocating religous church lunatics forcing their beliefs onto peoples face.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Love is never suffocating, but too much clinginess can definitely be suffocating

AngryCarl3 · Answer

I don't think love is a problem. Insecurity might be. They say if you love someone let them go.

capriVib · Answer

No it wouldn't be suffocating i actually want someone like that

Theoretical_Apulu · Answer

Oh it's horrible. Relationship is not only about love and especially not about obsession.

RichardCranium6201 · Answer

People who are not used to that level of love will say yes. But I don't think so

Clara4567 · Answer

Yes, explecially when a parter doesn't give space and wants to do everything together.

jahaims · Answer

No, that isn't what love is. You are describing unhealthy obsession

MrChinaski · Answer

Many people finding allowing themselves to be loved to be a difficult experience.

DarKnight36 · Answer

In a relationship, consistency is always important—neither too little nor too much.

thund3rlight · Answer

definitely yes, too much of everything is too much :)

dudeinohio · Answer

Generally dont think so, but it depends on how that love is expressed.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Absolutely not! There is no such thing as too much love.

radiomechanic · Answer

depends on the individuals involved and their personalities.

rapfan107 · Answer

Who's gonna be like oh no this person loves me too much 🙄

K_I_ngD_I_ck · Answer

If it's true love then it should not suffocate. Unless boundaries are being crossed.

slatyb · Answer

If it's suffocating, it's not love.

Chris009800 · Answer

Not for me, but I like clingy women.

ohvanillalattegal · Answer

Maybe only with the wrong person..

rgb008 · Answer

Nothing can suffocate me

Cidknee · Answer

No, only imperfect respones to love.

_Jenny_ · Answer

@karrimurray yes, I need some space

whosnumber_1 · Answer

Not if you're both equally into each other

Smileygirl2000 · Answer

Men take it for granted

crazyengineer · Answer

Unless one of them gets possessive too much

doren680 · Answer

Maybe depends on too much

Deserter3 · Answer

If you're sitting on my face, perhaps

MasterKS · Answer

Yes too much sex would be best.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Yes, oh my god, yes!

Brandi555 · Answer

Absolutely.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Yes.

idontkno1 · Answer

Yes definitely 💯

BauBau73 · Answer

Yes. VERY.

Can too much love in a relationship become suffocating?

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