Starting to check out other guys and have crushes on other guys while I have a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is emotionally and mentally abusive and always treats me like shit when I try to communicate he shuts me down and brushes it all under the rug basically acts like he can do better than me and checks out other women. I’ve been faithful to him for 7 YEARS AND THATS WITH NO SEX. Not my fault by the way. Now I find myself crushing on a guy from TikTok that happened to jump into my dms I don't know what to do cause I’m not a cheater but yet I find myself super attracted to him and love his personality. I just feel bad and weird

[butterfly113]

This is funny XD because i ve been throught something like this.. my ex boyfriend was so mean and he d always put himself above me and when i try to confront him with something wrong he does he d just shut me up without even understanding my needs or what i want. he never tried to listen to me.. Despite his abusive attitude , i was so faithful with him even tho it happend that i crushed on some guy , i was just there like a dumbass waiting for him to change but ntgh happened and he became more toxic.. The guy i was crushing on was one of my friend's friend and we met at his bd party.. i talked to him and told him about my boyfriend back then and he said s. thing i would never forget " you deserve to be happy , know your worth if s. one doesn't know how to treat you right u should leave them even if its hard like they always put themselves first u should this time win the game , win yourself before u lose it" it wasn't easy for me to break up but anyways i did it and took lot of time to get over it and now i am dating that guy and i swear to God i ve never been happier , he respects me and loves me more than anything in his life and we ll do our fiance party next week

This was my experience hope u ll learn something from it

[Asker]

I wanna talk to this guy but I don’t even know how to have a conversation with him I’ve been abused for 7yrs and it’s like I don't know how to hold conversations

[Asker]

This guy tells me aww hope it’s nothing too bad! I’m good! When I told him that I’m doing ok could be better how are you? And it’s like I don't know what to even say lol like do I tell him about my abusive boyfriend or no

[butterfly113]

I understand its like you re confused thinkin if you tell him that you have a boyfriend alreadyyou re afraid if he would think bad (altho u can still as nrml friends or sthng) and on the other hand if you won't tell him u would feel like cheating on your guy... Look first of all you should be sure of what you want if you want to end your relation with the guy u re with then go ahead He already took lot of your time just confront him so you can feel prepared and comfortable to talk with other dudes

[butterfly113]

At the moment keep the conversation cool you can talk about lot of subjects so you ll get to know him well and there are so many tips you can get from google. main thing is that you should be confident and completely yourself. i mean i know this relation affected probably on the way that you see yourself and u keep doubtin if he ll likes you or not.. you need to know that you re smart and beautiful and u can get whatever you want

[Asker]

I found out he also has a girlfriend but is in my inbox so I don't know what to do

[butterfly113]

Did he mention that he has a girlfriend or you just found out yourself.. If i were you i would consider it as a big waving red flag i mean if y'all ended up being toghther and things went well who can garante that he would not do the same to you.. Anyways you should be careful that what i can give you as an advice

[20yearsolder]

I only read the first four sentences, get out of the fucking relationship you're in. Then go find a guy and date as many of them as you want but first get away from the asshole that you're with now

[Anonymous]

Why not breakup?

[Asker]

I don't know I keep hoping he’ll change I haven’t messaged this guy from TikTok but I keep wanting to and I know that’s not good

[Asker]

I’ve been with my boyfriend so long there’s so much history there

[Opinion Owner]

I hear you, breaking up after a long run is one of the hardest things to do. But clinging onto memories from the past and hopes for the future keep people in toxic situations that they know they shouldn’t be in anymore, and it becomes such a waste of time. Now that your boyfriend has gotten to the point where he is so mean and resentful of you, there’s just nothing to save. You’re only hurting yourself by staying loyal to someone who doesn’t deserve it, and you should want more for yourself than that. You can’t get back those years invested but you can save yourself from investing more. It’s good that nothing has happened with the guy from TikTok, because I’m not one to encourage cheating. But I would say if anything it shows that you’re ready for something new. So why not just be single and give yourself the chance to find someone who’s better for you?

[butterfly113]

Totally agree wise words