What do you do to increase your dating value?

[Jimrat86]

I don’t really need internet validation, I’m just curious as to what others are doing about this. May be able to glean some supplemental ideas.

I have no social network, and I am not meeting people in my daily affairs. It’s very difficult to meet new people in my area because I don’t have a ton of time to devote to what few activities actually cater to singles (I’m thinking of trying archery as a side hobby though). I have my own car, house, and a stable career.

I weighed around 255 pounds as of March, and am down to about 223 now. In my entire life, I have never once been able to have a dating life without being in the best possible shape I can.

I am on various dating apps, but my options are bad. The only women who talk to me are either ones who stop communicating because they only wanted validation through my attention, and have no intention to ever meet, or women who I am not attracted to.

I’m thinking I just take a few more months to get to my 2015 physique. I was actually very lean, and modelesque back then, and had MUCH better luck with desirable women.

So gameplan is: Get back in shape, forgot about women, and cultivate some hobbies that will get me out of the house.

What do you all do to increase your chances at achieving the dating life you want?

[Effably]

I'm just awesome really and make a mental note to not be too much of an arse.

Money, work, education and all that stuff I usually don't even bother introducing. Of course the general area I work in and such is swiftly shared but doesn't really say a lot.

Because of my experiences and how they all seem to say that as long as I talk with and establish a connection with someone other stuff barely matters I am inclined to believe that is really the key. Everything else is a difficulty setting.

Of course looking good is always the difference between Hard and Easy. But if you can be special and intriguing to someone, that also is what ultimately decides things. Every time I've thrown in a bad attempt at humour that was a little awkward I've gotten good responses. I feel the bar, while certainly higher for us than it is for the ladies, isn't nearly as high as we imagine. Personality and social skills with okay looks seems more than enough.

[Jimrat86]

The things you mentioned does seem to help, but you left out a crucial part:Over time.
I'm a reasonably decent looking guy, but have a difficult time attracting what I want without a considerable amount of effort over time. Some guys can just slap a dating profile up, or hit up a bar and just get laid, but I am not one of them.

[Effably]

The guys who do that usually still do it because of social skills and not the rest.

Sure there is the odd 10/10 guy who walks in. Stutters out two words and walks out with an entourage of willing people. But for most its social skill.

For clubs etc, having some dance moves does a lot. For a dating profile, genuine, fun and a little suggestive does it.

Every time you mess up you learn a little. Treat it like a game. Not im the oh I am a player or I don't see them as people way but in the sense that it lets you process rejection with a chuckle and a shrug.

So my core advice really is to, while of course not stopping self-improvement, get out there and try as you are too. Otherwise you will be in a perpetual state of feeling not good enough when reality is all you had to do was tell her about that one time you got drunk and danced around naked.

[MCheetah]

1. Be tall.
2. Don't be short (under six feet).
3. Be handsome.
4. Don't not be handsome (less than a 7).
5. Be confident.
6. Don't not be confident (less than cocky).
7. Don't care what women think of you.
8. Don't start caring what women think of you.

[Guy13]

Increase assets, good judgment, vision/plan, financial ability to maintain a household,