me and him have been fighting for the last couple of days. two days ago he came to my house and i told him he was a dog he got his hand around my throat and said "yeah? let me go then" we ended up having sex with his hand still around my neck and my front door wide open, and it felt so sick to me because while he was inside me it was like all this adrenaline was kicking in but i had tears, actual tears and at some point started sobbing he stopped and wanted to hug me but i just needed him gone.
today he came over after hours fighting over texts, kept pushing my buttons and once again i said something and he grabbed my face but today it made me so mad that i hit him, he started walking back but still talking shit making me even more angry at him i threw a glass kettle at him breaking it and he was bleeding, i walked up to him and forced myself into the room he was in, he sat back kinda laying in my bad spread his legs and said "come on" i didn't and we just started arguing again saying hateful hurtful mean things to each other. he left and said he isn't bothered because he knows i'll be back.
I grew up watching my step-dad hitting my mother and for the longest I've been avoiding men because i didn't know what type of person would I be while in a relationship and this situation im living truly scared me hours later when I was here all by myself, bruised, shit shattered. was never my intention to harm him and I should've never accepted a man to put his hands on me. I feel like I need help guys like is this serious enough to try and get a therapist or how do I grow from here? part of me knows what is happening is dangerous and wrong but the other feels like it isn't that serious because for almost 18 years this is what I thought love was because that's all I've seen growing up
today he came over after hours fighting over texts, kept pushing my buttons and once again i said something and he grabbed my face but today it made me so mad that i hit him, he started walking back but still talking shit making me even more angry at him i threw a glass kettle at him breaking it and he was bleeding, i walked up to him and forced myself into the room he was in, he sat back kinda laying in my bad spread his legs and said "come on" i didn't and we just started arguing again saying hateful hurtful mean things to each other. he left and said he isn't bothered because he knows i'll be back.
I grew up watching my step-dad hitting my mother and for the longest I've been avoiding men because i didn't know what type of person would I be while in a relationship and this situation im living truly scared me hours later when I was here all by myself, bruised, shit shattered. was never my intention to harm him and I should've never accepted a man to put his hands on me. I feel like I need help guys like is this serious enough to try and get a therapist or how do I grow from here? part of me knows what is happening is dangerous and wrong but the other feels like it isn't that serious because for almost 18 years this is what I thought love was because that's all I've seen growing up
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