If I’m single at almost 24 should I just give up on love especially if I wanna be a mom😞?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

No, of course not.

But, perhaps you may need to change your approach to finding a husband. I obviously have NO IDEA what you are doing now, so this isn't intended to be personal or about you specifically - I'm just going to give some general advice here.

1. Get off the apps, and go out into the world, meet people in person, and always date LOCALLY. Remember that the entire POINT of a relationship is to spend time with another person TOGETHER, in REAL LIFE. Phone calls, texts, and social media posts are NOT a relationship.

2. Date with intention. You are looking for a husband who wants marriage and children. These are the ONLY men you should give any of your time and energy to. Make it known up-front that this is your mid-term goal, and if that's not what the guy wants, move on to the next one, immediately. Don't invest any time and energy with a man who doesn't want these things.

3. Have realistic standards. There are no perfect, ideal people - EVERY person you could get into a relationship is going to have things about them you don't like - and you'll have things they don't like about you. Don't expect "perfect matches." You will have to compromise. And you're unlikely to find "husband material" among the hot, popular, exciting guys - those guys tend to live a single, bachelor lifestyle forever. I'm not saying you have to marry a troll, but you're also not likely to find a guy who looks like a movie star or Men's Health model.

4. Stay focused on your goal. You don't have to talk about it every single day or anything, but also don't let 6 months go by without SOMETHING happening that's moving you closer to your goal.

5. Prioritize choosing your man based on what's going to make a good husband and father, rather than what would make the funnest, most exciting BOYFRIEND (that you would only be with for a year). Think long-term, because that's going to matter.

You can do this. You are young and most men are going to find you attractive, so you can get your foot in the door. The key is to filter and vet guys much the same way you would filter and vet candidates for the CEO position of a company - focusing on the attributes that MATTER, and not so much on the ones that are only "nice to have."

Finally, don't forget that you have to have long-term value to the man as well. He's going to want a woman who is going to be a good wife and mother. Your education and career are not going to be selling points - those don't speak to your abilities as a wife or mother - so focus on things that do. He's not going to be against you having a career, but he probably won't want that to be your focus as long as you have small children. Once they're in school 6-7 hours a day, he'll have no issue with you having a career, and you'll have 30+ years to work on it if you want to, so it's not like you'll run out of time.

Finding a husband needs to be a primary focus in your life - you can't make it your 12th priority - it needs to be Top 3 at least. Follow this, and I have no doubt you'll get it done.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Shhhh Stop it. Just be patient. There is a second in every minute of the day

And in that second there is always something changing

What is one of the most favorite things that you love to do have you ever played a sport or done something that was so cool so intense and you're in a Zone and everything just flowed together that's how life is because in that moment you are so happy your energy was so high and everything was done with precision and everything just worked out beautiful you made that happen by feeling what you were feeling

When you're negative with things and you have a bad feeling in your stomach or you make yourself feel sad and things just aren't going to work out your frame of mind is just not there the same thing happens you call that you bring that in on you by feeling what you feel so you're always going to be down and out stop stop stop relax be happy inside first every single second of the day forget all this crap just let it go and be happy find yourself because then you will get in the zone that I talked about in the above the very first thing I said and you will bring that person to you are you will run into that person because timing everything is perfect

BettyBogas · Accepted Answer

do NOT give up. They're out there. I would just try to be more active to find them. If you're Christian go to church and church meetings/clubs. If not just join clubs or meetups like reading, writing, cooking, hiking, etc. There are so many options. Also, you are still young so don't worry. I am 21 and never dated ever I am saving for marriage for the right guy.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

24 is way too young to give up on love AND motherhood. Never give up.

Avicenna · Answer

No way- you still have most of your life ahead of you and you're still young. Just choose the guy wisely!

OlderAndWiser · Answer

What an absolutely awful thought to entertain!

Effably · Answer

All that shows is that it didn't happen yet. Not that it won't.

I'd say even considering giving up before 30 is insanity. And not like you lose the chance at 30 either, or 40 for that matter.

What you know is that what you have done so far didn't go there. Maybe that means you've been unlucky and maybe it means you need a new approach.
The sensible thing is to assume you need to change your approach.

D-Pad_Chad · Answer

You have time still, if you were around the age of 35 I'd say kids and a family would be a pipe dream. Answer a few questions and I can get a better guage of your odds.
1. What's your weight?
2. Amount of makeup used?
3. Do you use social media?
4. Are you a virgin?
5. Can you cook & clean?
6. Are you okay with respecting and working with men (man)?
7. If yes to 6, Do you know what respecting a man looks like?
8. Do you think a relationship should be 50/50?

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn’t give up but as you get older the chances are stacked against you. I mean if you’re just looking to be a mom w out getting married that could come quicker as opposed to getting married then having a child. Because w marriage I’d assume you would meet someone, let’s say by end of this year then about 2 years dating, then married the 3rd year taking you to about the age of 26-27, then the honeymoon phase of marriage spending time alone for a year or two before kids. That would take you to your late 20’s, then children by that age. It could work, I wouldn’t give up. Just don’t rush it cause you feel time is against you.

Máiiréad · Answer

Maybe consider IVF or adoption. Those two are my last options myself if all else fails. :)

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I wouldn't give up I know 2 girls getting married and their both almost 30 years old

UnknownSwede · Answer

I'm single at 33 and I am not giving up on love, just yet.

My sister were 34 when she had her daughter and she had not, to my knowledge, had any serious/long term relationship before she met her current boyfriend (the father of her daughter) just a couple of years before that.

So you should definitely not give up on love. You will meet the one for you. That is what we must believe, to keep our hopes up.

Apple1996 · Answer

No you are still young and have lots of time to find love and become a mom

Lliam · Answer

No. You're still young. There are even studies that say that 30 is the ideal age for a woman to start having children.

Philyouup · Answer

what’s the story? 24 is not an old maid/ spinster. raising a kid on your own is hard, he’ll raising one with an involved partner can be hard as hell.

But it’s not impossible , and some people prefer it. just think it over very hard

Bethany22 · Answer

The moment one gives up on that kind of thing is often when men start wanting to be with you

Sour-rose · Answer

Yes. Give up on love... give up on your future kids, give up on ever finding someone that will want a family with you. :) There is no one who will blame you if you want to give up.  No one. :)

tfan1 · Answer

Not at all! My wife and I didn’t get married till 2008. She was 29 and I was 30. We had our first child in 2012 (he’s now 10). So no. Don’t give up! 🙂👍

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Honestly I’d just strike up some small conversations with people every now and then. Guys or girls. Just talk to everybody.

Join things, get involved with things, but the last thing you want to do is spend your time thinking about other people.

I’ve fallen down a similar rabit hole before, but it’s really important to have patience because that is the only way.

If you try to force things, it just won’t happen.

misfittoy · Answer

sometimes when its the thing you want most its the hardest to find. dont make that a main focus live your life right now, it will happen when you least expect it

RiseofArtemis · Answer

Find someone who has good morals. You shouldn't Go after the ones who are seen as Alpha males. If you can't find a good man to be with there is something wrong with you. Maybe too high standards.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Don't intentionally get pregnant if the guy isn't prepared to be a father. (But if you're already pregnant, then just make the most of the situation. I'm sure you will be a good mom.)

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn’t give up at that age maybe in your late 30s you might give up on being a mom but not mid 20s

HighValue · Answer

No. You still have 6 or 7 more years left to find a good partner that wants kids.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Your egg quality is likely still fine, at around 30 the quality drops a lot and birth defect risks rise, though many people in their 40s/50s still have kids.

Wubs3000 · Answer

You have your whole life ahead of you 23 is not old.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

No! I never even got a kiss or a hand hold `til I was almost (like, 3 weeks before) 25! And, I've been alone for the past 21 years but, I still have hope!

Berethor · Answer

Being a virgin and wanting to be a mom is a wife material traits, and you still young to give up.

Knoxmandz19 · Answer

It's a lot to juggle I think with feeding and all, but that's up to you, do you think you can make it work than try

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Love is a wonderful thing & you should never give up, you should never give in & most of all you should keep moving forward no matter what.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Why? You're 24? You still have time to find love and a relationship.

Wise4myage · Answer

Don't be stupid. You have many years left to have children.

Dreamclouds · Answer

Never give up on love and always love from all your heart no matter if you are or have been hurt, that is true power.

VanguardTitan · Answer

If you still want it then there's not really a point in giving up.

I gave up because I decided it's not worth pursuing anymore.
But considering you still want to be a mom, looks like you shouldn't give up.

Anonymous · Answer

24 and not married with kids and grandkids? Give up now! don't live a life as an old maid past their prime with zero chances for happiness. I hear the church needs more nuns.

Summeroflove · Answer

No. You just have not found the one yet you're still young

MCheetah · Answer

24 is still young. A woman doesn't have to give up until she's 40 (I'm kinda half joking here).

midnightmoon05 · Answer

You should…so all other girls can meet their man.

ElvenMr · Answer

No, keep doing your thing, keep looking. You'll find someone.

BJP21 · Answer

Never. Keep on looking. I've got so many turn downs just because I wanted a family or my age. (Too old my ass, Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again)

AddylynnNightingale · Answer

But if you give up, you'll never be a mom. If you don't want to adopt, at least.

nickaboy · Answer

Calm down, im becoming 28 this month have only dated 3 girls in my entire live don't give up yet  Im still single too the time will come one day.  you can stop caring about it tho

Calenderagressive · Answer

I believe you should have children at 30 because you probably won't be able to afford one for awhile, and remember to Actually research extensively with health care and whatnot basically don't be a Karen

DJB72 · Answer

Why would you want to bring a child into a relationship with someone you don't love?

Onlyonceatime · Answer

No, I will be your fail-safe, just in case.

zagor · Answer

LOL most people aren't married at 24. What a silly thing to say. "I'm single at 11; should I just become a nun?"

HaveNoName · Answer

Instead of searching for"love", search for a husband or wait for a husband. Everything comes and develops after that if you show each other respect.

clampfan101 · Answer

I’m about 10 years older and still not giving up on my my dream of becoming a father despite being single.

Chthou95 · Answer

Well since you're a woman and how easier it is fo woman in the dating and marriage wolrd, its your fault. You could always look and get out there but women typically don't do that

Aphrodite801 · Answer

Yes, because you shouldn’t be a mom saying such stupid things.

Staximus · Answer

You're young and it's not 1955 anymore where everybody has kids at age 18-20

boobliker · Answer

no you will find a person for you at the right point in your life,

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Wait, a week ago you just found a new guy and now he's gone again?

OddBeMe · Answer

Um no. 40 yr olds are having children. 50s seem a bit too late, just for the child’s sake.

LonelyAndBig · Answer

Have you ever had a boyfriend or first love before?

Agape93 · Answer

No, you're still young. Be patient

jimmy2 · Answer

Don't give up dear. You are beautiful and someone will come by

Googlemyahoo · Answer

You’re still young.

petitedollbabee · Answer

24 is still young.. don’t give up.

DaisyM23 · Answer

no wtf, 24 is too young just to give up

gerald5466 · Answer

no you should not

Debbie14217 · Answer

nopenot at all...

DermalPunch · Answer

LOOOOOOOL Goodness no!

Anonymous · Answer

Never give up.. You never went in relation?

If I’m single at almost 24 should I just give up on love especially if I wanna be a mom😞?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should I say im doomed if im 24 and still single even tho I desire to get married and want kids someday? When will things make sense for me?

If I’m single at almost 24 should I just give up on love especially if I wanna be a mom😞?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should I say im doomed if im 24 and still single even tho I desire to get married and want kids someday? When will things make sense for me?

We're glad to see you liked this post.