Why do people tend to get less interested as soon as someone shows commitment to another person?

[Anonymous]

It’s just a lot of guys do this. As soon as you show a slight bit of commitment towards them , it’s like they stop caring. I just want someone to be on the same page as me and I want someone that loves me as much as I love them , but I feel like this generation just runs on loving attention until that attention involves them actually being invested in their life beyond surface level. Ughhh so hard being a hopeless romantic in this generation

[Smoothing]

I don't think it's the case that they stop caring. It is most likely that they didn't see you romantically in the first place. Now that you showed interest, they now have to evaluate everything about whether to reciprocate or not. I say if they are not resisting, it is best to give them a bit of time to decide.

It is similar the other way round. Except when a girl/woman is thinking, most guys just keep trying to convince the girl/woman. I have never heard of a woman trying to convince a guy. Just give them the time but continue being friendly for a certain time. They are likely going to slowly reciprocate. The moment you go for some one else, it is game over. You just took away their freedom to decide and made the decision for them. There is no reason why the should chase you.

This is why traditional women always win when trying to catch their guy. They know how to play the long game. Morden women are clueless and used to being chased. They also have the "I want it now" attitude. Which often doesn't work well in their favour when they have to pursue the guy because they lack patience.

[DoctorSex]

Modern Women are like that.

A sense of mystery must be kept by the guy I order to fuel her imagination and keep her interested.

Where as men are by large, trained to understand that marriage is a duty. The word "Provide" or "protect" has no connotations to feelings of fun or joy. Men fundamentally get that their role is to endure.

The funny thing is, both women have a duty, but Disney has slowly eroded away female responsibility. One has to simply sit there are the prince with all the wealth already made, is meant to protect you.

In real life, both the male and female principles are used to build generational wealth.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Bethany22]

I wouldn't blame it on this generation. All generations have that phenomenon. As long as one person is doing the chasing, the other one doesn't have to worry about reproducing their genes. I too get angry about why things have to be so complicated. But the reality is, we're not field mice (one of the most faithful species), so we just have to develop thick skin.

[chicosuave]

because you are attracted to those types of men. but ignore the men who do. Men who have options are more likely to stray and not commit and thats what most women are attracted to. Thats ok we are both on the same page. yet women think those men are safe.

[Asker]

I mean I even went for someone that’s not my type and isn’t the most attractive but I do find him enough for me and he still

[chicosuave]

maybe its time for you to give up. when you give up thats when shit happens. just focus on yourself stay busy and you will be in more peace.

[Asker]

I did give up and the guy I am currently talking to I had absolutely zero intentions of liking him. I avoided him for a long time but one day he asked to hang out and he gave me the best first date I ever had

[chicosuave]

There you go

[RiseofArtemis]

Men and women today are not taught to find those who want to be with them. We are taught to chase those who never give us a chance because that's what we have always seen. I'd love a girl who gives me constant attention and only me that I know is loyal.

[TroyDT2]

It really sounds like two different questions. In the title, it sounds like you have guys fleeing when you show interest in someone else. The answer to that is, "Why expend energy when she is already interested in someone else?" In the body it sounds like you have guys fleeing when you show interest in them. To that the answer is, "Those guys were interested in the chase, not the capture." I can't relate but I know it happens.

[lekayl999]

Usually when a guy backs off from commitment he is not ready to settle down. Immaturity plays a huge factor in these situations. Just watch out for the red flags because there are plenty of guys that think they are willing to settle down but in all actuality are not

[Asker]

I know. I’m just starting to lose hope at this point. I just think it’s just generation that prefers attention over actual genuine love and it’s sad. I’m at a point where I just want to be loyal for one person and I just feel like as soon as I get vulnerable, things change to make me shut down.

[lekayl999]

Need to keep it spicy. A good relationship needs a lot of different components to be successful if some are missing it will fall apart. Never give up because there is always the right person for you.

[glennos89]

They either are scared of commitment/letting someone come to close to them because of the pain that heartbreaks have caused in previous realtionships or they are simply not willing to commit

[SiberFox]

Funny you should say, most of the women I've dated have done this. If I don't care they do, if I care they don't.

[FilmGuy93]

Acknowledging the interest removes the uncertainty and anticipation. Basically, the situation isn't as fun.

[Shy_Steve]

Usually because they like things the way they are.

[Anonymous]

Girls do it too, happens to me quite often, just seems like some people like a challenge

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree.