A guy keeps asking me about my ex, and even wants to text him, He wants to see me with my ex go back together. what's going on here? Why?

[Anonymous]

This guy that i went on a date with keeps asking me about my ex, and that he wants to know what happened between us. He even wants to follow my ex and message him on Instagram. Everytime that i play some sad music, he always brings him up. He assumes that i still love him and want him back. He said that he can help me to get my ex back. He doesn't want to me sad because of my ex. And that's why he wants to be a matchmaker for me and my ex. The thing is that i don't even want my ex back. He doesn't realize that i actually like him more. Im over my ex now because of him. He basically helps me to get over my ex. Why would he act like this? Why does he want me and my ex to get back together?

[DoctorSex]

Because something about the way you're telling the story of your ex relationship, he doesn't believe.
This is why I often advise women to never speak negatively about your ex and/or blame them for the break up. A relationship always takes 2 parties to make it work and 2 parties to destroy.

Clearly he wants to take you seriously but at present you're speaking to him in a way that is giving him the impression that you cannot be trusted, so he wants to hear the story from the other side.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[Asker]

I never spoke negatively about my ex. I didn't blame him for anything. In fact, I told this guy that it was my fault, and regret for treating my ex badly. I was the bad guy in the relationship. He assumes that i still want him back. We went out a few days ago, and he keeps his guard up. But he also told me a lot about his ex girlfriends. And how they hurt him

[DoctorSex]

Ahhh, then if you treated your ex badly and it was your fault according to you, then this is a bigger red flag my dear. What you've confessed to is purposely treating someone who choose to be in an intimate relationship with, badly.

This is synonymous to the Trojans horse analogy in the story of Troy.

What would stop you doing it again? His guard is up because he doesn't know if you're sincere or not. The fact that he's fact checking means that he still clearly likes you and is running some background checks. Sorry. But you're just going to have to let this process happen and be as non combative as possible during this process.

Kind regards,

[SnowedIn]

This has a many red flags. All over the place and none of them good. He might want to hurt this guy. He might not trust you. He might want to watch you and ex be intimate. He might just be curious but that's a morbid and not good curious. I would gently and nicely but firmly let this guy go.

[Asker]

I just told him before that there's some kind of unfinished business between me and my ex, and that i don't get the closure that i need. After that, he keeps asking me about him, and he assumes that i still want my ex back, and that's not the truth.
How is this guy going to hurt him?
Why should I let him go? I also have a feeling that he doesn't trust me, and that's okay with me..

[SnowedIn]

I totally respect you. I wouldn't want a relationship with someone who didn't trust me but if it works for you, then I wish you the best.

[Asker]

Thank you, not only does he try to bring my ex back in every conversation, he also always tries to talk about his exes with me

[melanieeeB]

Set a boundary and tell him to stop. It's not his business. He should better get lost

[Twalli]

Maybe his last girlfriend left him to get back with her ex, or wasn't over her ex, so he doesn't want that to be a problem with you. Try telling him that he helped you get over your ex. That chapter of your life is closed. You've learned what you needed to from it, and it's over. You're on a new chapter of your life, and that one is done.

[Anonymous]

That's weird.

Maybe this guy doesn't know how to break up with someone so he wants to try to get you back with your ex.

[Anonymous]

because he doesn't want you

[Opinion Owner]

i flat out don't trust mine and i told her numerous times i don't trust her

[Opinion Owner]

i flat out told her i don't trust her after all the hell she put me through i have every reason not to trust her