by the time I am in my early 30s, I want to have kids regardless if I can find a husband. would this still count as starting a family?
Does being a single mother by choice count as having a family?
What is your opinion?
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- 2.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Master Age: 601 yLet's se...:
- bought a house --- check!
- bought a car --- check!
- found a job --- check!
- travelled overseas --- check!
- sent my parents to retirement home --- check!
- pretended to have a family --- check!
You will be considered a good consumerist :)
Just one thing missing: a ''big wedding''
018 Reply--- check!
Let me simplify, then: ''no'' (for both questions)
By imitating something that you don't have, I'd say. No Dad around means that your arrangement is incomplete. Not saying that you'd be a ''bad'' Mom, of course.
Where I see the difference: Dad HAD been there once. What's left now is a ruin; a fraction.
One can of course explain oneself into justification by using ''newthink'' terminology.
Let me invert your scenario and suggest a child born out of rape. The father will now be family?
Are there different 'qualities' of blood?
You can of course CLAIM to be family.
Trans-people claims also are tolerated meanwhile. If you are accepted as one - is a different question.So... what do women have?
Tupperware parties? :D
And ''the law'' on their side, of course.
As -from your latest statement - you don't 'have to' have a 'family'... how is it that you asked the question?You see that correctly. I see no reason to make my aggressions ''active'' :)
My aggression - or aversion, rather - is towards the present attitude to socially kidnap existing concepts and to convert them into things they were not meant to be. 'You' can instead find new ways and new names for 'your' experiments. ''We'' did that in our own time, too.
My 'complaint' is not about what you intend to do; but what sticker you think of putting on it.
Similar things happen with i. e. gay ''marriage'' or gender ''identification''. Has the latest world population forgotten to be creative with naming their new inventions?
Myself, I'm living with my Missus and her daughter (with boyfriend); I would not even think of naming it a ''family'', although it looks similar; it's our individual arrangement. And does that make any change in our individual 'quality'?Yes - the topic is very complex
How good that we have YOU, then.
Please make the world sane, my saviour :D
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11.1K opinions shared on Dating topic. Yes, that counts as having a family.
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- Xper 5 Age: 39 , mho 49%1 y
A broken one, but yes it would technically be a family
010 Reply- 1 y
If you're so sure why did you ask this question, you didn't want an answer, you wanted validation.
Yes it's broken, both parental figures are required for the family and child to have the best chance at thriving. Father figures brings things to a family a mother figure can't/don't.
It takes more then love and nurturing to raise a child. Statistically fathers are important, moderngentlemen.net/.../ and conversely fatherless households are recipes for disaster.
You even admitted to settings your child up for failure and I quote ""My kids will be spoiled." Of that I could believe.
I know I come off harsh and blunt, but I'm just saying it how it is. - 1 y
I know I have a family. I'm just asking if this is the appropriate name of what society calls it. There is a difference between what society thinks of as family versus what is actually family. If the relationship between mother and child, relationship between brother and sister is not family, then what is it?
- 1 y
In a general sense, yes society would call this a broken household (family). Because the advantages a father figure offers would be missing. As for calling it a family, I mean, you can call your household ice cream cookie dough if you want to, but it won't change the economic or psychological impact of a missing father figure. And a missing parental figure is how society classifies what a broken household is.
- 1 y
So your not here for answers, your here to argue. Not once did I mention homosexual relationships as they pertain to child rearing yet here you are citing an, albeit poorly put together, study. I'm done here and you have my pity, good luck, you'll need it.
- New 1 y
I firmly believe that there is research that refutes the old stereotype that kids need both a mother and father to succeed in life. Things such as having enough financial resources and having good relationships with family members play a much bigger role in a child's development, than just merely having a mother and father.
I grew up with an incompetent mother and a bad father. I rather be raised by a wonderful single mom than by those two jackasses.
Technically, yes. Would a hotdog count as a sandwich? Sure. But is it really? No.
120 Reply- 1 y
"Those who grow up with single mothers with adequate socioeconomic resources tend to do well. The children of poor single mothers are more at risk," Biblarz says. "Many of the results that say that kids are at increased risk for negative outcomes have to do with economics."
abcnews.go.com/.../story?id=5687285 - 1 y
it is not about "not having a father" that makes a kid grow up to become a criminal. It is about financial resources. Kids who have a two working parents growing up tend to do better in life because the family is more financially stable. Kids who grow up with 1 working parent (single mom) tend to do worse in life because they are less financially stable which means they're likely living in really poor ghetto areas which breeds criinality.
HOWEVER financially stable single moms tend to raise successful kids because these women have enough money to live in good areas where crime rates are low and are able to afford a decent education for their kids. - 1 y
[ou are essentially setting the kid up for a failure. Ideally, the kid needs a masculine and feminine parent.]
not all fathers are masculine. not all mothers are feminine. my mother was the least nurturing bitch and a twat ever. and i still turned out ok. im college educated, have a great job, great savings, great career prospects, have ethics and morals.
- 1 y
I've got a link to counter this baboonery too but unfortunately, I can't post it due to my level being low. This article is also pretty biased, showing a few successful people like Obama and thinking that's due to single mother based families. The studies are exceedingly clear on this and tilted to one side. Children with a good two parent family do much better on average than children with a single parent, no matter how rich they are. It is common sense.
- 1 y
The researchers found that children raised by same-sex couples had higher test scores in elementary and secondary school and were about 7 percent more likely to graduate from high school than children raised by different-sex couples. Feb 6, 2019
www.washingtonpost.com/.../ - 1 y
Kids of Same-Sex Parents Perform Better Academically, Study Says
www.advocate.com/.../kids-same-sex-parents-perform-better-academically-study-says
this is clear evidence that your BS about "needing a father" is garbage.
even kids of gay / lesbian couples do better in school than kids of heterosexual couples - 1 y
Clearly a biased study with 2000 samples for same sex and over a million for the average couple. Can you not read? It is clear that the sample sizes were skewed to produce the result. It is common sense. Look at the variance in numbers. Yes and children in normal marriages can turn out badly too... what's your point? It is not optimal nor natural.
- 1 y
There is nothing skewed here. Thats because vast majority of lesbian or gay couples can't have kids. But lesbian and gay couples who are able to have kids tend to be rich people who can afford modern advanced reproduction technology. Because these gay and lesbian couples are rich and educated, their kids do better in school compared to kids of heterosexual couples.
Its the parents financial stability that matters, not the parents gender or sex.
A single mother who is financially stable can raise better kids than a mother and father raising kids under poverty. - 1 y
[Now tell me, when the average person thinks of a family, which has worked, has been the bedrock of modern society, is the father present, or not?]
just because something has worked in the past , it does not mean it was a good thing.
do you realize women stayed with shitty husbands for hundreds of years because they didn't have the means to survive without their husbands? divorce had never ever been common all throughout history until the 1980s. Women started divorcing their husbands when it was common for women to hold jobs. Prior to 1980s, women didn't work, and it was frowned upon for a woman to work.
But would you justify a woman staying in a shitty marriage just for the sake of "being married".
Women divorced their husbands all the way from 1980s-2000s. This was the era where divorce rates were soaring. Now divorce rates lowered because less people are getting married.
- Anonymous(25-29)1 y
No, it wouldn't. But it does count as being extremely selfish (unless you adopt).
06 Reply- 1 y
there's nothing selfish about being a parent. Once you become a parent, you will realize that everything you do is for your child. you work to support your child, feed , clothe, pay tuition, spend all your leisure teaching your child. you will have little to no time alone for yourself.
being a parent is selfless and all about sacrifice 
Opinion Owner1 yFirstly, I am a parent so I know what it's like. I also know that children raised without a father are at far greater risk for all kinds of problems like suicide, teen pregnancy, poverty, drug abuse, prison, mental health problems. Fatherless children are at a huge disadvantage. Sadly there are many mothers who are widowed or divorced through no fault of their own. But a woman who actually CHOOSES to bring another fatherless child into the world is indeed extremely selfish.
- 1 y
you don't understand why kids of single moms tend to have higher levels of criminality. It is not due to lack of a father. It is because kids raised by 1 parent tend to have less financial resources than kids raised by 2 working parents. When a kid has less financial resources, they are unable to afford to live in a good nighborhood but rather the cime filled ghettos where rent is cheaper. Growing up in a poor neighborhood and where a kid has to starve breeds criminality. It is not due to lack of a father. It is ulatimely due to lack of financial resources. Kids of two working parents tend to grow up in better neighborhoods where there are less criminals. And they also tend to have everything they need so they're less likely to steal.
But kids of financially well off single moms tend to do well in life. why would a kid need to steal if he is born to a financially well off single mom who lives in an upscale neighborhood, attends elite schools, has more than enough to eat?
- 1 y
"Those who grow up with single mothers with adequate socioeconomic resources tend to do well. The children of poor single mothers are more at risk," Biblarz says. "Many of the results that say that kids are at increased risk for negative outcomes have to do with economics."
abcnews.go.com/.../story?id=5687285 - 1 y
there are actually studies that show that kids of lesbian and gay parents actually do better in school than kids of heterosexual parents.
www.advocate.com/.../kids-same-sex-parents-perform-better-academically-study-says
This basically comes to show that its complete BS to tout around that kids born to heterosexual parents are better off than anyone else's. - 1 y
lesbian and gay couples who are able to have kids tend to be rich people who can afford modern advanced reproduction technology. Because these gay and lesbian couples are rich and educated, their kids do better in school compared to kids of heterosexual couples.
Its the parents financial stability that matters, not the parents gender or sex.
A single mother who is financially stable can raise better kids than a mother and father raising kids under poverty.
- 1.3K opinions shared on Dating topic. Master Age: 37 , mho 30%1 y
Yep, a mother and her children are still a family
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