I've been texting this guy but I'm doing all the work. I text several paragraphs but he only responds with a few words. If he wasn't interested he wouldn't reply at all. How are you supposed to develop a relationship like this?
Asking questions, switching up the way you talk by calling here and there, paying attention to things that excite them most.
Also go with your partner's flow by waiting for them to respond and intiate messages. Its the easiest way to guage how interested someone is in you. If theyre not all that eager to communicate, it usually means theyre not that interested in being with you. There's people you're "meh" about and then there's people who mesmerize you. Slow/stale communicators indicate they aren't strongly attracted just have "meh" feelings about you. Mutual Attraction is important to pay attention to, because these types half-*ss their way through the relationship and dont try to resolve concerns that pop up. You dont want to date those types. Dont ignore the signs.
Take a step back from this guy. See what type of moves he initiates. And if he treats you like chopped liver, move on to someone else. Dont beg, thats only reserved for people who put effort into getting you.
ok let me get this thing straight as simple as it is he’s just not that interested and maybe you should talk it through with him before deciding to do anything of why he’s being so dry and probably the answer that he would say is that he’s bad at texting and he doesn’t do online shit. You should move on atp you said that if he wasn’t interested he wouldn’t reply at all here’s the thing your accepting the bare minimum meanwhile you deserve more than a reply you can't do it all alone here and its not like we can talk it’s always hard for us to talk but still we try to make this work but from what iam seeing he does everything except that he’s being kind or trying to be kind maybe cause he does find you good looking and he wouldn’t want a good looking woman away from him but is he interested in you even if he does say that? No. He’s just replying back! ITS JUST A REPLY BACK WAKE UP!! One hand doesn’t clap by itself and your doing all the effort here.
if he likes you really he would try to at least want to talk it through with you and he won't be leaving you here all alone having million questions in your head you deserve an explanation!
Long distance was never a bad thing it’s perfect in every way possible its just not for everyone if both of you really want it to work it will work no matter what is the case i wish if it was as easy as they say it but remember that its all temporary and this whole distance thing comes to an end and one day you guys would be together who ever tells you it doesn’t just ignore it everyone’s situation differs from others. There is things you can do that others dont vice versa so that doesn't mean that if it didn’t work out with them it won't work out with you.
Always put in mind that your dating to marry and nothing else you really dont want to waste your time and good luck dont let anyone get to you.
It is very difficult! I would argue that it’s even impossible if you actually want to get to know someone on a level deep enough to be able to know and understand them romantically. While texting is a convenience, I think over the last 15 years, it has done society a great disservice. It has taught everyone especially in the younger generations to be very dysfunctional when it comes to real communication with one another. It has caused people to become lazy with their use of words, grammar, and spelling. There are certain salutations, body language signals, tone of voice, and context or meaning behind how something is said that cannot be well read or conveyed through a text message. If he is responding in such a way to not even put effort behind responding back or attempting to be descriptive, then he either doesn’t care as much or he is taking it for granted that he is relying on text message as a crutch to be lazy with his communication. To me that shows a certain level of immaturity on his part. As a guy, I would at the very least be picking up the phone and giving you a call if I were serious.
You aren't. Long distance relationships are mostly an illusion, and are definitely a waste of time. I am constantly saying here: DATE LOCALLY (only!) so that you can spend actual time together with your SO. That's what a relationship actually is.
You are incredibly unlikely to ever find a partner that you will have a relationship of any substance with online - a rare exception does not invalidate the rule.
The odds of a person finding a perfect match in their current state is extremely small, it's best to look in other locations too, then bring them to your location, or vice versa.
@TheSpaceGnome That's the lie, and the problem. There is NO SUCH THING as a "perfect match". That's a Disney fantasy. In the real world, there are no perfect matches. Rather, there is just two people who are compatible enough and are willing to make compromises and sacrifices in order to build their lives together.
Using apps to scour the world in an effort to find the mythical "perfect match" is just setting yourself up for being single and alone forever, and likely getting used and having your time wasted in the process. People's ridiculous expectations are working against them, and instead of recognizing how badly they're failing, people are doubling and tripling down on what is already failing.
Thats a load of Horseshit.
Perfect matches do in fact exist, I've seen them.
People are varied, but not unique, many mental copies exist for each person, and many people are already married to their perfect matches, and trying to compromise is setting yourself up for a guaranteed breakup/divorce.
Also disney is the worst example you could have given, those are always people with literally NOTHING in common getting together because "reasons" despite being terrible matches for eachother because they aren't anything alike.
Disney typically portrays the polar opposite of "search for the perfect match". Instead they suggest "marry the most inconvenient person ever, just because your crotch gets tingly" and thats it.
All a perfect match is, is an attractive person who shares your favorite hobbies/interests, and has your views and personality, thats it.
It's not some mythological superhuman with no flaws or weaknesses or an endless supply of utility/money/etc.
Opinion
41Opinion
You are not. We have to meet in person which means make time and care about the other person. Time together in person is required. Why is this difficult for people to do?
Schedule a video chat... stop texting men. Men who are worth a damn are working and on the purpose in life. We don't have time to text all day.
You can't, you're suppose to pick up the phone and actually call someone, have a face to face conversation with them. This is why I dislike that texting was invented, it's ruined communication skills. Anyway it doesn't matter cause it seems he's not interested, if he was he would text back more or at least called you by now. Stop texting him since you're doing most of the talking and move on.
@BlueScorpio If you think texting ruined communication skills, you're sadly wrong.
@Shiningtempest it has to some degree, it's made people to lazy to pick up the phone and talk to others, they rather just text.
@BlueScorpio Communication skills were already compromised before texting came to exist.
@Shiningtempest no they were not, people use to actually pick up the phone and call each other or stop by to see each other. Before testing and online dating, people made an effort to go out and speak to one another. Now it's gotten a lot more difficult thanks to these dating apps and texting.
@Shiningtempest you're on question right now about girl triyibg to form a relationship through texting and you're sitting here trying to tell me that texting and social media has negatively effective communication skills at all? Really?
@BlueScorpio I was told that anyone who thinks texting & social media has a negative impact on effective communication is a naive person.
First fine out if he likes to text, not everyone does... some hate it. I had a guy once, we met on a website, chatted there, then decided to move to texting. He was slow af at texting and then admitted later he hated it.
At some point he talked about how he is a really fast at typing but slow at texting, so we moved to whatsapp, as it has a desktop client for his PC that can link to your phone.
Man he suddenly could text me at lightning speed... like paragraphs of stuff that I couldn't keep up with.
At some point though, you will need to decide how things should move. To meet in person, or me personally, I leave short audio recordings, both before whatsapp in regular texts and in whatsapp, along with short video clips. He would do the same... so somewhat better and then moved to phone calls and meeting in person.
You have to decide if the problem is he sucks or hates texting or if he just isn't into you.
You can’t. It’s one of the worst things in the world to try and communicate through text messaging. As someone who is a little bit more mature and older I cannot stand texting for anything other than the most basic things. Quick messages reminders and that thing. You cannot Determine sarcasm, dry humor, blurriness, sadness voice inflection, etc. from a text. I’ve seen more fights start because of people misinterpreting text messages than I care to remember. If you’re afraid to pick up the telephone and talk to somebody after a few text messages then you’re probably not ready to date.
You are not supposed to. Relationships can extend in this fashion, but not develop. Of course, this is my opinion, but being face to face, gestures, sounds of voice, laughter, etc... these all enhance a person and the conversation which leads to getting to know one another.
you're not suppose to know Nobody through a "device", usually these "devices" help us to put "out there" what we have in Mind, without being "judged" for it! So for me works this way..."if i'm on a chat/chat room" etc, i just put out all my "mind" mainly when comes down to "hot stuff", like, desires, dirty talk, fetishes, arousal ideas", without being categorised as a "perv", i'm sure this works for both ways...🤷♂️
Texting Isn’t meant to get to know somebody.
Texting gives people the Authorization To pick and choose What to respond to and what to ignore.
Face to Face is better harder for someone to Pick and choose ignore or not when in person.
That’s why Ghosting is so effective And that’s why Trying to Talk to someone that Ghosted you can be Considered Stalking.
Depending on who you are of course and your personality And level of Communication skills make it easier or harder for someone to Ignore you.
You're not supposed to get to know someone over text. And the fact that he's not ghosting you just means he's being polite. If he were truly interested in getting to know you, he'd make plans to get together or, at the very least, call or FaceTime you.
Honestly, you shouldn't have to do all the work. You're trying too hard to force chemistry that simply isn't there. Instead of wasting your time and energy, do yourself a favor and find someone with whom there's a more mutual connection.
You're not supposed to develop a relationship through texting. Texting is for business related matters and to arrange meetups, that's all. Any other use for dating is perverse.
If he was interested then he would arrange a meet up.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
You can't. Is nothing more than having a penpal or writing a letter to someone. You're not going to get to know them until you carry on a conversation or know what they're feeling until you can read their body language.
you don't, texting is the dumbest invention since the "automated ass kicker".
some guys are not very good with conversations and give one word answers. that is torture to a girl and safety to the guy brain until he opens up.
you will have to try that horrible other button..."talk".
Honestly doesn’t sound like he’s interested. When I was younger I used to make every effort to see her, to talk to her, do things for her. A man will change for the right one. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s talking to other women besides you. If you really want to get to know him it’s better to do it the old fashioned way, a date. Besides text messages can be read wrong as far as how the person meant to say it.
Let me hold a mirror up to this: You're whining and being emotional about doing all the work, and flattering yourself by thinking you're interesting. He's grunting one or two words. This is all you need to know about each other, that your Neanderthals.
I got the same problem with women, makes me think they are not interested when I write sentences and they reply with 3 words, see if they will voice call, if not then they probably aren’t worth your time. are usually stop replying after a while if all they can say is two or three words as a response
I see it that the texting part is supposed to be one part of getting to know the other but not the full thing. Sort of get to know each other to the point you'd feel comfortable dating which I can see being hard with how he's responding. But I think it's just a small aspect as over text it's harder to communicate properly in the way needed for a relationship I believe.
Texting before meeting is a waste of time. Either set up a meeting or forget it.
@Shiningtempest Actually, they sound like someone whose time is valuable. You're the one who sounds salty about it for some reason.
@nunsaymoo Your futile response won't change my unwavering belief that texting before the meeting isn't a waste of time.
@Shiningtempest I spent many years dating online, off and on -- mostly off, but I still contacted and met a number of women. It didn't take long before I realized that there was no substitute for a face-to-face meeting.
You shouldn't you should just get a quick to avoid the worst types and then do proper in person dating.
Phone calls, eventually leading to a meeting irl. Long distance is absurdly hard to foster and someone will have to eventually uproot their life.
If he's not willing to put in an effort texting, do you really think he's going to be putting in the effort in a real relationship
Depends maybe he prefers to talk on the phone and not text or some are just nice and respond back
You don't... people on real life act hugely different and you get to see their expressions
The only answer I can give is to text to make plans to meet up in person.
I've developed lots of relationships like that. But if you're having to do all the work, he's probably not interested. Or maybe he's more chatty in person. Either way, it doesn't sound like your current approach will yield results.
If you’re putting in all the work he’s not really interested in talking to you, I was talking to a guy and I was putting in all the work so I gave up and don’t bother with him anymore there’s no point really.
You don't, just like many singles on here on GAG I would like to meet in person and get a real sense of who they are.
Maybe he's one of those men a few words. I tend to be that way and usually answer and ask all my questions that way.
I still like the old fashioned face to face or on a phone.
You can say more in 5 min than you can in a weeks' worth of texting.
But I'm older and that is just how we did things.
You can't get to know someone fully just through texting. You have to meet them or at least do a video call.
It's basically impossible to have a relationship through text. y'all gotta meet up or at least vid chat/call to get to know each other.
Try face time and/or arrange a meeting in person. Texting hides too many character flaws in all of us. Need a face to fact meeting to get to really know someone.
" If he wasn't interested, he wouldn't reply at all." I agree with that but responding with only a few words and not pursuing a conversation doesn't mean he IS interested.
also am I the only one who new what a BBC was from porn before I knew it was news?
Like When I first saw BBC news I thought Ooh sweet baby Moses do they know what that stands for?
You don’t.
When can you meet in real life?
You're not supposed to develop a relationship like this.. you should use text to find a time and a place to meet.
This is a big problem with texting in that it is almost impossible to get to know very much about someone. Why don't you just ask him out to lunch and be done with it?
You aren't developing anything. You have to actually talk to the guy
He is probably introverted and so he reply shortly I have it like that but at some points I can be able to text longer message's so it just needs to go though it, he maybe will start be talkative by time.
Video call so that you know he's real and see if that helps with the communication
Hun, he's not interested in you. What don't you get?
Well, if he isn't interested in me, why does he immediately text back? I would think if a person isn't interested he wouldn't text at all. At least not immediatly. Yesterday we texted back and forth for 4 hours. He only responded to what I texted though. He doesn't reveal that much about himself. Just little by little.
You aren't! You're supposed to use texts to set up an ACTUAL IN PERSON MEETING!!!
How are people so thick that they don't get this?
Maybe he is more of a live interacting guy than through text?
1000% correct. You really never know who is on the other end. Complete WEB OF LIES
I did it to someone for 14 years until I had enough
That’s not going anywhere
Call them and have a conversation instead
Uh, try asking questions?
You aren’t. Go on a date.
He's not interested. He's being polite.
He’s a horrible Texter
Texting has ruined dating and courtship.
Go out and find real people
You can't.
cudeo call
Just talk to them
Frfr
You just can’t.
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