My boyfriend and I been having a relationship for 11years and his family hasn’t invited me to a Thanksgiving dinner should I end it?

[Anonymous]

[SteveSmith1985]

Well... no. That would be a pretty insane reason to end an 11 year relationship.

I can appreciate how you might feel rejected by his family. And I don't know the story there. Let's say it's worst-case scenario, and they all hate your guts and think you're awful and wish every day that their son was with a different woman.

THat's STILL an insane reason to end your relationship. You aren't dating his family. There are 364 days of the year that AREN'T Thanksgiving. Lots of people's families don't like or get along with their partners. It's really not the end of the world. It really doesn't affect YOUR relationship 99% of the time.

I think you should talk to your boyfriend about this. See if you can find out why exactly his family hasn't invited you. Find out if they just don't like you (which you're gonna have to just accept), but at least get him "on your team". You two are 'partners'. Bring him into this.

I really hope you're just hurt and talking crazy. Because this is just crazy. 🙂

[sean1234]

Maybe they don't believe in that evil time... read...


Although there are records of a celebration taking place, there is no evidence to support that the Wampanoag tribe was present or invited to the feast. An account said 90 members of the Wampanoag tribe were present and makes no mention of invitations. Some historians believe that these 90 men were an army sent by Wampanoag leader Ousamequin at the sound of gunshots, which was a part of the celebration. To be clear, interactions between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag people were anything but friendly, and the Pilgrims were the aggressors. During their first encounter with the Wampanoag people, the Pilgrims stole from the tribe’s winter provisions. Although later, Ousamequin formed an alliance between the groups, the alliance was only established after the Wampanoag people were ravaged by diseases brought by European colonizers during previous years. This decision was more so a measured attempt at survival than it was to ensure intercultural harmony. Conflict continued after the first harvest when deadly conflicts between white colonizers and Native people erupted. After becoming allies, the Europeans went back on their promise and proceeded to seize Native land and imprison, enslave, and execute Native people. Thanksgiving celebrations that took place among European settlers often followed brutal victories over Native people, like the Pequot Massacre of 1636 and the beheading of the Wampanoag leader, Metacom, in 1676.
... maybe I should celebrate the truth of the KJV Bible that allows me see the truth about one of the most EVIL Holidays ever created by man which is Thanksgiving in the Usa.

[Edentina]

You only mentioned Thanksgiving and I am wondering why specifically that. What about other family functions, maybe weddings and stuff. If it's only Thanksgiving, and you really want to go, you can invite yourself and see what he says. I will be more alarmed if for 11 years you haven't been invited for any function at all.

[Asker]

Yeah no other family events. Is actually his mom birthday the last and only time that went to a family event was when his parents got married that was YEARS AGO.

[Edentina]

Wow, I think this is quite telling but it boils down to two things
1) Whether he has a great relationship with his family and attends these functions or events without you.
2) How important being included.

11 years is a long time not to have communicated with him about how you feel but if you haven't, do so but if you love him and you are happy with every other aspect of the relationship, then this shouldn't be a deal breaker. I asked a question here on GAG about possible deal breakers in a relationship and family acceptance was one of the options people had to choose. I noticed it wasn't a big factor like religious differences or decision to have kids or not etc. Individual circumstances differ though

[TrueConfection]

Did he go without you? If he left you alone on Thanksgiving after 11 years together... Yes, show him the door.

[AviatorTom]

Are you looking for that one thing to end an 11-year relationship? And this is it? If you're thinking of ending it after 11 years, there must be more important things that bother you. After all, you've put up with the no-Thanksgiving-invitation for 11 years. Why now?

[20yearsolder]

You should end it because your boyfriend's a pussy and doesn't stand up to his family. He should have told them 11 years ago that he's not attending Thanksgiving unless you're invited as well. What a douchebag. You're better off not getting in this fucking mess

[chicosuave]

my parents only care about the girl who is gonna marry me and not the temporary girlfriend who will in the end not be there. if you can show them you are forever then you might have a chance in meeting his family.

[Asker]

His family and I met and I been to their house we just don’t have a close relationship

[chicosuave]

dont expect the family to love you. you were the same like my ex. she expected everyone to love her but you can't force people to love you.

[Asker]

Actually I don’t expect nothing from anyone, so you got that wrong.

[sonic_fever]

No but you need to have a talk with him. Tell him how you feel about that and put the ball in his court. A man that loves you will make sure he talks to his family and includes you in their activities. You’re a part of that family

[AdithyaR]

Well that depends on how he's handling it.
Does he have a bad relationship with them or is it cause they don't like you?
If it's the latter, does he defend you in front of them or does he try to play nice with them?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

If this is a repeated behavior you need to break up with him and move on, there are other fish in the sea and this is a very sad thing to do to your girlfriend or wife.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Over that? No, thats stupid. But you should end it if you care so little about him, that something that trivial would make you break up with him.

[Fireguy17]

who are you dating, him or his family.
it sucks, maybe to them they have a valid reason why, but I would have no clue why after 11 years you aren't invited.

[jshm2]

Yeah, how dare they keep all that food for themselves and leave you poor and hungry.

[nawtee_me]

No, you should invite them to come eat with you, be the bigger person here. If they choose not to than see why that is and decide then if you need to break up...

[User3191989]

11 years, and no marriage proposal yet?

Yikes

[Asker]

I’ve always said I never wanted to get married only move in together. I pretty much been a ride or die to him because he has struggles financially and I been there for him. He always says he has money problems but is getting to the point he turning 31 and I don’t see improvement.

[User3191989]

That’s why I wonder why you stay with him

I’m 33 and single. I don’t want marriage either but, at least I know to stay single rather than lead a woman on

[Asker]

But Im sure you would be fine to move in together if you think you found the right female.

[User3191989]

Nope. You don’t know me, you can’t make assumptions

[KrakenAttackin]

Doesn't sound like you are his boyfriend but more of a side piece.

[Asker]

I doubt it more like he can have a side piece. Bc we been together for 11 years. His parents knows I’m with him. And we hang out often.

[KrakenAttackin]

His parents must not like you.

[Anonymous]

He shouldn't go if you're not invited. If he goes anyway, then end it.

[TallAnon]

If it's that easy for you to consider breaking up; yes.

[panamared1]

Maybe they have, but he did not extend it, yes time to move on

[soe11]

Utterly wrong

[Luckycharms12]

You going out with him not his family

[Edentina]

That's right but introducing a significant other to one's family means a lot to some people and inviting them to family functions makes them feel included. Family acceptance is very important for some people

[Luckycharms12]

He might not have a good relationship with his family.

[Edentina]

That's true, and I think my shared opinion gives credit to that.

[Luckycharms12]

True. I just wouldn't let family effect a good relationship

[Edentina]

But people are different and some are very particular about family relationships and that togetherness, especially based on how they are raised.

[Luckycharms12]

That's true everyone and every family is different

[Edentina]

Right

[Asker]

I do know his family and his family knows me. When covid hit I stopped having any contact with them. At first i thought I wasn’t invited to his house because his mom was pretty strict about who she had been over and didn’t want catch covid but when things started to calm down. My boyfriend never invited me over till this day.

[Izzy_3991]

🚩…run

[Anonymous]

Yes, just do it

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes that’s too long

[Jmmmfi4]

Thats mean