Do you think girls are confusing and complicated in dating?

[Anonymous]

[ShadezMcgee]

To a degree, they are. We as men are not properly taught how to communicate with women in terms of dating. We have to learn by trial and error and a lot of us only had second hand experience from our friends and family members to go along with whatever Hollywood pushed out as a template to what it looked like.

Problem is Hollywood got the romance idea of how men go about it completely wrong and backwards. Women do not care how men feel about them, they care about men make THEM feel. There is a reason why women will overlook a solid guy, and a lot of it comes down to attraction and not triggering her feelings of it.

That's why a lot of went say, "He's not my type," or "He's nice, but..." she hasn't been triggered to look at the man as a sexual option for dating. That's why there are men they will sleep with and others they will cast into the friends only category.

Always watch her actions over her words. A woman will lie through her teeth to avoid conflict or bringing that topic up altogether as a way to deflect, avoid and set up an "escape" to stay away from a man in hopes he gets the hint over straight up telling him she isn't interested.

Women want men with balls and not a pushover. It's a harsh reality, but true. There is a reason why guys that follow Hollywood movies for a guide in dating struggle if not have no success. That kind of behavior pushes women away.

Women also expect men to be practically psychic in deciphering what is wrong and just know what they are thinking or through indirect communication. Example being I learned that when women are hurt, they tend to communicate that by saying how they felt in a past experience because they are drawing that as a comparison to the pain they feel in the moment. A girl I dated in the past likened me talking to another woman (we weren't together) as cheating when an ex of hers ended up sleeping with her best friend. I found that messed up with how she viewed the comparison, but I understood what she meant and talked to her about it and reassured and clarified I knew how she felt.

But it is disconnects like that that cause a lot of struggles in dating these days. Most men don't have the tools or are taught properly to court and date women. Women just aren't direct and are passive aggressive with men on their radar and require feeling attracted to have a level of investment. If men don't have that factor for her, they are better moving on. Once a woman decides if you are a friend or not what makes them tic, nothing will change their minds about you. No matter how you improve as a man, you will always be seen as the same man she labeled you as when she met you.

[MrOracle]

I used to, but I eventually learned how most women think - and why - and it's very different from the way men think, and it's also very different than what many women SAY, but, no, they don't confuse me, and haven't for 25 years or so.

I really wish I had been taught that, or had the resources to figure it out, about a decade earlier, though. In my teens and early 20s, I was very confused, because almost everything I had been taught was wrong. I not only had to learn a lot, but I also had to unlearn a lot, and that was even harder to do.

[Vegasrunner]

@MrOracle I think the biggest takeaway is to learn that what women say is much different than their actions once I understood why, getting women became easy. What women say is simply a reflection of how they are feeling at that time and it changes bases on their emotions. Once you understand tjos dealing with women becomes easy.

[MrOracle]

That's a part of it, but they are also strongly influenced by hypergamy, which the confluence of technology and radical Feminism have allowed to run unchecked. That was certainly much less true when I was a teen, but still existed to some degree. It's completely out of control today.

The combination of those is key to understanding most women today.

[Vegasrunner]

@MrOrcale My argument is that women have always been hypergoumous that's why we think of the the cheerleader dating the captain of the football team etc. in my opinion what technology has done is given every women the false sense that they deserve top tier men.

[ShellyB]

I don't think we are really that complicated but I think we seem complicated to guys because of differences in communication, the main thing is, some things we want seem un-sexy to un-romantic to ask for (at least to me and I am not the only one), for example on an early date if I want the guy to put his arm around me, I will signal it by how close I walk to him or how I look at him or whatever I will not say "put your arm around me" and I will not put my arm around him, I want him to do it. On the other hand if I am walking with a guy friend and I do NOT want him to put his arm around me I will keep a little distance between us physically. What I am thinking in either situation is very simple, and is clear to me but it may not always be clear to a guy esp. a guy with less experience around girls and that makes us seem "complicated." This is one example but it applies to, really most of dating or romantic life with different details.

[CrazyGirl2]

I’m sure SOME can be, but as a girl yourself you know that we are not a monolith, and that we are not “all the same”. (Despite what some troglodytes say in online forums). There are MANY very down to earth girls, who are very easy going and have very simple needs, just as there are some extremely “high maintenance” girls, with extremely complicated needs. If I was asked to give guys advice, I would say avoid the “high maintenance” girls like the plague, and look for girls who are kind, respectful, and understanding. But most of all, look for a girl who is not “needy” and completely absorbs all of your free time, expects you to text back within a minute of her texting you. But mostly, just understand that we are NOT “all the same”.

[Summeroflove]

I think some definitely are and so are some men. People who can’t be direct about what they’re wanting or needing and expect me to read their minds. Frankly aren’t worth my time.

There is men (and women) who will put up with such behaviors. But unless someone tells me or asks me something. I’m not gonna read your mind. Sorry!

[Guy13]

Like duh 🙄

[Akam93]

I'm not complicated or confusing. :)

[Guy13]

@Akam93 I know you are. It’s a gene 🧬 thing. We have both got it… That’s why people feel like not on same track. We process differently…

[Akam93]

I can understand that. :) I'm an easy woman to know and understand. But people dont take the time to talk to me.

[DoctorSex]

With all things In life, one needs experience out in the field.

If the dynamic is that the male "hunts" and the female is the "prey", then most men fall into the trap of asking the prey how to catch them.

The prey is biological wired in every fibre of their being, to subvert you at every turn. It's the fundamental nature of prey. This lesson you will never learn from prey.

Women are only ever confusing when you ask women about women. When you ask experienced hunters, women become very easy to understand and acquire. Undoubtedly they dislike hunters like me that teach other men how exactly to catch the prey lol it's part of the game. Don't take it personally, I don't.

Men need to start looking towards guys like me for lessons on the psychology of the prey and stop asking the prey.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[NathanDavis]

I don't think so, because I never had that issue...

first girlfriend I had was in high-school, age 16... we were friends first, good ones, close.. so of course I knew her, understood and at least in my experience, friendships are not complicated nor confusing... and my best friend was a girl, since age 12 so...

fast forward to age 20 or so, it repeats, sort of... my second girlfriend, college age, we were friends first, so we got to know each other well, so no room for confusion nor complications, and... at this point of my life, I have even more friends that are women and all a bit different to one another

and so on, the older I get the more I know, the more I have experienced... and the less room for confusion, I would have to be quite dumb or clueless myself, I had spent 20 years of my life surrounded by women and having not learned a thing... lol

[lightbulb27]

I used to think so, I didn't like how I felt around them, I didn't know how to communicate and I did not understand them. They were a great mystery. It took a long long time to undersatnd the woman's perspective. It's like a slow peeling of the onion and I learned the most with my wife, getting perspective I didn't have before of how women manipulated me and I'd allow it.

As I look back, it's amazing how totally inept I was for decades, but when inspired, I learned a great deal. A lot of that was learning about myself.

It's like anything, have to learn. In hindsight, I had very little good exposure to girls growing up, so I missed a lot... and thus my growth was stunted.

Why isn't there girls 101 and 102 training for guys?

[libsaretards]

Think? I know so.

When a man says something, he says what he means and there is nothing to interpret or figure out. If a man says he wants a damn pizza, netflix and chill, that is literally what he means and he could care less what the two of you watch. When a man says he is fine, he really is fine.

When a woman says something, there is often some "hint" she wants a man to decode. If a woman says she wants a damn pizza, netflix and chill, she wants you to get every detail of the pizza perfect without telling you what she wants on it because "we have been dating so long you should know by now". When it comes to the movie choice, she will say to "surprise" her and then be upset at the choice of movie picked. When a woman says she is fine, she is not and a man is forced to jump through hoops to figure out what she means and if he gets it wrong, then he is a "jackass" and pisses her off more.

[VIVANT]

Have you ever dated a guy? You may consider how guys act platonically vs how they act in saying may not be the same. Some guys def do not say what they mean or will swift h it up depending on convenience. I’m sure sone women do this too. It’s def not bi partisan. One thing I learned is it’s very difficult for a person to be indirect when you are direct. So if you are frustrated by ambiguity, be direct. I think people are unaware of how unclear they come across then assume everyone wise is playing. It can be difficult to see how you come across when everything in your mind is crystal clear.

[VIVANT]

Not in my experience. I find guys to to be annoying bc they pretend to be chill but play games & constant power plays.. I’ve had an Easier time with women but perhaps women who date women are more direct than men who date women, or just a coincidence. Dk. But no I don’t find women play games and I personally do not play games. I have no desire to do so. Confusion is the absolute last thing I want. Sometimes I’m not ready to date , or I don’t move quickly as the other person expects & often guys think it’s a game, but it’s just different timing.

[JDavid25]

Oh, women play a lot of games.. And they don't usually like too direct..

[TonyMetal___86]

@VIVANT , maybe you're just falling for the wrong guys and about dating women, well i prefer to be silent on this one and mr mr surely knows my opinion about it 😌🦜

[VIVANT]

@TonyMetal___86

😂 there is no more falling but I agree no good to date people who play games. Of course I don’t mean all guys play games, I just find they are more likely to blame it on women, which is a game in itself.

I know women who play Games but they will be more honest about it. Guys who Blame women for playing games tend to not be very introspective/ honest.

Tru tho I attract more so logical women & more so flighty men, I don't know why 😂

[VIVANT]

@JDavid25

It would he interesting if you dated guys. There definitely are women who play fakes they just don’t seem to be the sort attracted to me, whereas the guys I attract are the opposite. It’s peculiar. I’m don’t case I think ( and it’s understandable bc they lack first hand exierurjce) a lot of guys are under the misconception that ken don’t play fakes, either bc women they know do or bc they see themselves as direct and can’t imagine other men not being so. But how a guy behaves casually with a friend is going to be different then his he behaves with a love interest. He may not be honest about it with his friends or jay not be aware himself.

There really is no team that is exempt and we all have views shared by our experience and prejudiced.

I can forgive someone playing games, it happens, harder to look past people playing games whilst pointing a finger.

I’ve experienced few games with women whereas more so with men. I’m fully aware that someone ride can have a different experience, I just think it unhelpful to reduce communicational conundrums to gender.

[JDavid25]

I haven't dated guys, but in my experience, guys are much more forth coming than women.. I've gotten hit on by a lot of gay guys, and that really brings forth the fact that guys are still the more straight forward sex.. Women are more trusting of other women and have more of an in group bias, so maybe they are probably more straightforward forward and less manipulative with other women in the beginning.. Don't get me wrong, I know guys play games, but that's usually in certain circumstances.. Like if they really wanna have sex with a girl but they know she wants more.. They'll play along just to get in her pants.. Or when they aren't sure whether a woman is interested or not they try and pull back the attention and that comes off as playing games.. Or when a woman put them in the friend zone and they play friend to see if they can get with the woman.. It could also be bias on your part too.. You're a nice woman and you come off as somebody who tries to understand, but I have seen a bit of a lean towards women "better" sex.. I don't think you think like that, but that's the "vibe" I've seen from some post of yours..

[TonyMetal___86]

You're just a wonderful girl whom god wants you to have a good man who deserves you 😌
The only game that i'll play with the skyscrapper girl is sending a hoard of bumble bees towards her when she wears this yellow dress in the garden 🐝🤣

[DollAlone]

I think everyone is confusing and complicated in dating. Usually because a lot of people aren't honest up front. They create the illusion of being more wealthy or better career or lie about age, kids, etc. They are so worried about the truth not being good enough that they complicate things for the future when the lies start getting uncovered and whatnot. So both sexes really make things a hassle instead of just be themselves

[midnightmoon05]

Very especially if you are under 18. Guys as well…

my 15 yr. old daughter was boy craze since 10. Recently she mature up and said… she is too young to have a boyfriend. It seems not worth it.. time wasting… seeing her friends break up after a few months…

she wants to focus on her school work and has been doing really well in her classes.

[JDavid25]

If you actually get to see how women work, they won't be confusing really.. Complicated? Yeah.. I gotta have just the right amount of everything to keep a woman interested in you once she gets there.. You gotta make sure she knows you're interested and then not show too much interest and keep her guessing or she'll get bored or uninterested.. Etc Etc..

[glennos89]

Sometimes they are yes. They have beautifully aspects aswell don't get me wrong but girls always seem to make problems out of nowhere. And a lot of woman find it also very hard to give a man the space he needs for himself sometimes without getting upset or jeaulous

[TonyMetal___86]

Maybe yes and maybe no, i'm about to become 37 and ain't a teenager no more, i don't give a sh*t if she's confusing or not, i'll treat her nice and tell her the point of why i'm dating her, if she likes it so be it and if not, please next!

It's not a crime scene where i have to search for clues and have suspicions and bla bla bla, i'd like an easy date, be honest, don't be affraid or shy to tell what you want, your likes, dislikes and everything, cause my inspector gadget days are long gone 😏

[CallmeTheKnight]

Half the time. I recommend to ignore, ghost, avoid, or block the women who make things complicated... Better peace of mind.

I came across some women who were straight to the point and didn't play games like most women. Those type of women will show you and make efforts to see where things will go. Those are the women you should welcome in your life.

[Tina19]

Can be said for men as well
It's not about a particular gender people sometimes can be confused and lack clarity in what they want when it comes to dating and relationship some people want relationship badly but at they same time they have fears and doubts in their mind one day they want you next day they push you away this gives mixed signals

[Batz2u]

Yes, especially young girls with unreachable expectations. They don't realize that boys aren't born with magical knowledge of controlling their urges and how to just be charming and acting like a prince, so they say and do stupid things because there clueless.

[Tracker1958]

It used to be, boy meet girl, boy dates girl then boy ask girl to marry him. Now days it's girl gets on tinder and shops for the richest boy she can find, hooks up, gets used like a tampon, then calls all men trash. Then starts the cycle all over again. The rich men won't marry them because they have all the women competing for his money. All men pay for s3x, married men pay the most.

[melanieeeB]

Overall nope! I personally find most guys to be awful and lying, therefore I recommend everyone to date men but with femals overall no, I just feel like most need to work more on their self esteem and communication skills tho

[CubsterShura]

The guys who do are men who learn about women from the media or other guys instead of actually interacting with women and hearing them out.

Men can be very complicated too. I know so many wonderful guys who are quirky and complicated in their own ways. No longer seeing the opposite sex as some mythical creature helps a lot.

[sirderpsalot123]

Generally speaking, yes. Some are more confusing and complicated than others.

The way many women communicate is indirect and nonverbal, and they rely heavily on hints. It can become pretty tiring.

Constantly overthinking is another big one.

[CoolCatMar1]

I agree sorry for being sooo bad

[sirderpsalot123]

@CoolCatMar1 It is what it is, lol...

[Pohjolan]

Well, they seem less confusing after reading "Mate".

Still, I prefer gals that are over average when it comes to being rational.