I just wanna know if this is only happening to me, or if that's an actual thing for everyone:
I've been on dating apps for a while now, and most of the time it just doesn't work, which is normal in my opinion. But the thing is, every single time it does work, the *same* pattern happens again and again. Litterally every time, for the first 2 days or so, it goes really well, the conversation is nice, we have fun and the other person says they liked talking with me. Cool right?
Well yeah, except that every time, after those great 2 days, the person just gets more and more distant. Somehow, when everything's new, they find the time to talk to me sometimes for hours in a row. But suddenly they're "so busy" or "so tired" they end up messaging me later and later, less and less, until I'm fed up and don't bother carrying the conversation anymore.
I just wanna know if I'm doing something wrong? I know I'm not perfect, but I try to always be nice and respectful of others. I ask questions, joke around, don't mind serious talks if that's what they need atm, etc. Like really I do huge efforts because I want to treat people just the way I want to be treated myself. So why is this happening all the time? Does it happen with everyone? Am I doing something wrong?
I honestly have tried many things. I tried to play hard to get cause I don't know maybe people want me to be less available: it doesn't work. I tried to be flirty, funny, supportive, god knows what else: still not working. More than anything, I tried to be *myself* and sadly it clearly doesn't work either.
My self-confidence is dangerously dropping. I just find it heart breaking to see that I can't seem to find someone interested in me for more than 2 days, despite my best efforts...
Please can you guys tell me if I'm doing something wrong or if that's a common thing?
I'm really clueless at this point as per what to do.
Don't worry you are not alone in this one, I feel like this happens quite often. One thing I've learned is to always pull away from the app. For example, you don't want to continue getting on the app and having conversations there. One thing you can do is if you hit it off, try to plan something to hang out and grab a coffee or something anything small, or move the conversations to another app like IG, Twitter, Fb, or even Snap. Apps that they are more likely to get on. I feel like people don't like opening those apps as often, as for me I don't get notifications and don't like to always open the app, and can sometimes lead to me responding late and once that happens the convo will start dying. Also take your time, talking to someone for so much can lead to not having much to talk about later, I am also trying to follow this advice of mine, and it's been getting better compared to before.
Yeah I agree that moving to another app is key, so I always use another social media. I think you're right that spending too much time with someone can just lead the 2 persons feeling like the conversation dried out. I think that's hard for me to understand because when I like someone s company I don't see why I wouldn t talk to them. But I'll try to work on that. Thanks for your advice!
Of course and I completely understand and I feel the same way, if you meet someone you connect with then the conversations should flow and be easy! But there are some things we need to consider and at the end of the day they still are strangers we are talking to, so they don't know whats going on in their lives and they don't know about ours, it's kind of like starting a random conversation with a stranger on the street, you can only keep the conversation for so long before you have to part ways unless you guys make a plan to meet again (equivalent to a date). Also, it is a dating app, lets consider that we are not the only person they are talking to, at this point, it feels like love is a numbers game, sadly. But I hope it gets better for you and I hope you find someone worthy!
Thaks, I hope the same for you too! :)