Do women see men who are over the age of 45 who have never been married or had kids a RED FLAG?

Question

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

I won't speak for other women, just for myself.

I don't see it as a red flag, no.

I would, however, if they had no relationships to date, or were very green. That would mean they are potentially: Too particular, haven't had the confidence to initiate, don't like women, don't trust women, can't get over being burned by one or a couple, and have closed-minded-ly thrown in the towel, and in very rare cases, suppressing some homosexuality. None of those reasons are good.

But a guy who's never been married... he's cautious, careful, selective, hasn't had luck go his way, and might even be smart, not treating marriage lightly.

One more scenario are those who are vehemently against marriage. If you don't trust me, once getting to know me, then we have a problem.

LovingJo · Accepted Answer

I think men do the same, but no, I weigh up the pros and cons to this, but definitely don't judge someone based on their age and how their life's journey has gone!!
This is the problem with society today, as a whole!! Judge, before understanding!! 💯❤️

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

I guess some women do, but not all. My father was over 45 when my mother married him (she was in her 20s), they had a long happy 40-year marriage with 2 kids until he died.

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 women too…self-absorbed commitment Phobes.

Avicenna · Answer

Some might see it as an advantage- he won’t have kids to spend money on, and that’s more time and attention for her (and maybe her kids). Other women will find that a dealbreaker.

ManOnFire · Answer

I imagine there are probably women like that. But it wouldn't be a lot different than men who think a 45 year-old single mom is a red flag.

Minxxie · Answer

More than women it's employers who see it as a red flag.

Unmarried men with no kids receive fewer raises on average.

But mothers of course make less because employers assume they value their family more than the company which? every parent should anyway?

I guess expecting gender stereotypes to make logical sense is pointless in most cases though.

LazerBean · Answer

I do not see that in and of itself as a problem. Some people are picky, and some people are just not super interested in finding a partner. Both of those are okay. So it's not a problem unless it's the thing where they are complaining that they are single because every other person in the world sucks.

Juneberry91 · Answer

Personally no, i do find people become more weary/suspicious as we advance in our years due to our own past hardships. There is also that factor of time where we want to be insured we are not wasting it …but isn’t that the point of dating, the time of getting to know someone?

We live in a world that fixates on the superficial exterior rather then going deeper for our answers. The world of instant gratification conditioned a lot to want instant answers & confirmations. We live in a very contradictory world that finds fault in everything but the Superficial picture. The world regardless of your situation will look for something not “normal” or wrong with you.

I find that people Instantly cancel out somebody because of their single-hood & the fact they don’t have children are guided by fear then being open to learn about you.

Anonymous · Answer

Some probably do. I don't have an extensive relationship history. And I've had women stop talking to me after I started sharing my lack of relationship experience. I got nothing to hide, but apparently they find plenty to judge. It's all good, I know what I bring to the table. If she's not smart enough to see it it's her problem.

DermalPunch · Answer

My Dad never married. He's got quite a bit wrong with him in terms of being a relationship partner. I had a man 45 propose to me who had never been married and it was... strange. Not empirical data but based on this, it would give me pause.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

That's neutral but the associated traits can be. Eg recently I met a guy in his 40s at an event and we ended up talking the whole time, he's single and never married and no kids.

Red flag 1 - believes that partners should be each other's only social outlet and thinks girl time is hunting for dick

Red flag 2 - still lives with his parents (quite normal here) but gave me the impression that he's unable to make his own dinner.

Anonymous · Answer

I know few who do, not the being married or kids part, just the fact that they are older and still single. I actually met one younger girl few weeks ago (I think she was 27) and I suggested her meeting my single friend (34) and she actually said "nooo I dont date old left-overs". I couldn't believe it myself but yeah there are people who apparently think like that.

To me personally I would like to settle down with a man who already has kids. Because I do not wish to have my own. I don't know why but I never wanted it, ever since I was little I had a huge desire for adopting as many as I can, saving homeless kids, etc. Angelina Jolie was my role model for how many kids she adopted, lol. I would do the same if I had the money. I love kids very much, I volonteer a lot and I want to be a parent! So adopting his kids and being the best possible parent I can to them would be a dream come true.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Doubtful, but it would be a huge red flag to most woman if he is divorced with kids, especially if the mom was granted primary or full custody (as is usually the case).

"Why are you divorced? What did you do? Did you cheat?"
"Ah, another deadbeat dad."
"He obviously just cares about sex"
"Ugh, Why can't men learn to be responsible?"
etc. etc.

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

Depends. Was he invested in business? Or does he have a long long strain of failed relationships

Anonymous · Answer

It really depends on his personality and character. I don’t judge a person based on the looks or age. If he has good reasons to stay single in many years, like he doesn’t want kids or doesn’t believe in marriage or hasn’t found the right lady then it’s understandable. But if the guy is violent or rude, then I will take it as a red flag.

Cuttie_Country_Girl · Answer

Yeah, I’d say it is. I mean who makes it to 45 and gas never been married?

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

It's not a red flag, in my opinion.

I think it's normal but it's not common.

I have some male friends & cousins who refuse to get married and/or have kids.

When I've asked a few of them about it, they'd each simply tell me that "the lifestyle simply isn't for me."

My cousin actually added, "Sorry, that sounded quite selfish, right? Well, then, I guess I am."

midnightmoon05 · Answer

I didn’t. I see saw him as a human being. The more I got to know him…the more flags he was wearing.
it was very very hard…but It can be worked on if willing.
I did. We are married and he is such a good husband. Me lucky girl.
May the end of the day…we all deserve love, understanding.

I work with 99% women…there are a few over 40 now… By then, they know their chance of having a family is almost 0…

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Not necessarily, I think ALL people should be judged on their own merits. Nobody can know anyone else’s life experience, or why they do what they do, including waiting until later to marry.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

It definitely can be, especially if everyone around him has been in a relationship and he hasn't. It's a pink flag if anything.

anon1903 · Answer

Depends on his reasons. If he tells me it's because he wanted a long term partner, I'd tell him he should have started his search sooner. But if he claims he was career focused, well I wouldn't comment on it. It's only a red flag if he behaves like a creep.

Mangospacho · Answer

Not necessarily. It just means that he refuses to compromise and settle down with someone who is wrong for him. It’s better being never married than settling down with the wrong person and being single but divorced three times.

Guardian45 · Answer

I think the better Q is Do men see women who are over the age of 45 who have never been married or had kids a RED FLAG?

Do women see men who are over the age of 45 who have never been married or had kids a RED FLAG?

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Do women see men who are over the age of 45 who have never been married or had kids a RED FLAG?

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