Yes Red Flag
No that is perfectly fine
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I won't speak for other women, just for myself.
I don't see it as a red flag, no.
I would, however, if they had no relationships to date, or were very green. That would mean they are potentially: Too particular, haven't had the confidence to initiate, don't like women, don't trust women, can't get over being burned by one or a couple, and have closed-minded-ly thrown in the towel, and in very rare cases, suppressing some homosexuality. None of those reasons are good.
But a guy who's never been married... he's cautious, careful, selective, hasn't had luck go his way, and might even be smart, not treating marriage lightly.
One more scenario are those who are vehemently against marriage. If you don't trust me, once getting to know me, then we have a problem.
One could be "vehemently against marriage" and yet not have trust issues with you or anyone else. Simply recognizing that marriage is a static contract applied to dynamic individuals/interaction, and illogical to promise that the way you feel today is the way you will feel forever.
I think men do the same, but no, I weigh up the pros and cons to this, but definitely don't judge someone based on their age and how their life's journey has gone!!
This is the problem with society today, as a whole!! Judge, before understanding!! 💯❤️
Yes they do for sure.
I guess some women do, but not all. My father was over 45 when my mother married him (she was in her 20s), they had a long happy 40-year marriage with 2 kids until he died.
Why did your mom marry someone so much older than her? That's gross.
back in the day women had to marry what was best for their futures and not what they actually wanted. if his mom had the freedoms women today have, she wouldn’t have wasted her youth on his old dad.
@sassy_receptor @TenderFantasy Please hold your comments on a situation you know nothing about. My father looked much younger than he actually was, and my mom didn't find out how old he was until years after they got married. They worked in the same factory, got to know each other eating lunch each day, fell in love and had a long and very happy marriage. Age is really not that important. Maybe you'll be so lucky someday to be part of a couple like they were.
@AviatorTom I apologize for you just having to read those comments. It bothered even me to see that. I think I will have to actually block because of that. Thank you for being a person who responded rather well and noble.
Your story, I can confirm as possible and I am happy that your parents met in that way. It was a chance for me to read how two lovers met, and I love those kinds of stories. Thank you 🙋♀️
lol so your father lied to your mother about his age and you’re telling us we’ll be lucky to be apart of a couple like that? no thanks😂 no sensible women would choose a relationship like that.
i’d rather a relationship like my parents who didn’t lie about their age, were three years apart, have been together since teenagers, and just hit 25 years of marriage a couple weeks ago. that’s success.
i’ll also add that they’re in their early 40s with 25 years of marriage under their belt. that’s goals.
@sassy_receptor I agree. What can people who have a 15 to 20 year age gap have in common except for maybe sex? ? ! I'm TIRED of people normalizing couples where the dad is much older and the mom is like a teenager lol. Come on people, grooming is NEVER okay nor should be normal! It's gross. He was a dirty old man who definitely took advantage of her youth and innocence!
exactly. and the fact that the woman didn’t know the guy’s actual age until years AFTER marrying him shows that he was a predator who knew exactly what he was doing by taking advantage of a naive younger woman. people can try to idolize this abusive behavior all they want but i’ll always call it out. i don’t care who’s feelings get hurt or how mean i sound.
@Rosexøxø I second this. 👌
Tom, you are restrained, and an example of how people should behave on the internet. Kudos to you.
@sassy_receptor @temderfantasy You have a lot to learn about life, both of you. For one thing, how to act polite and behave civilly, even when you don't agree with how others live. Your audaciousness and arrogance is off-putting. Not that you care. You should both feel lucky that the three of us are more restrained than each of you.
🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
women too…self-absorbed commitment Phobes.
Both men and women so this for sure
Opinion
18Opinion
Some might see it as an advantage- he won’t have kids to spend money on, and that’s more time and attention for her (and maybe her kids). Other women will find that a dealbreaker.
I imagine there are probably women like that. But it wouldn't be a lot different than men who think a 45 year-old single mom is a red flag.
More than women it's employers who see it as a red flag.
Unmarried men with no kids receive fewer raises on average.
But mothers of course make less because employers assume they value their family more than the company which? every parent should anyway?
I guess expecting gender stereotypes to make logical sense is pointless in most cases though.
Anecdotaly I’ve never seen a male ceo not married so yeah
My company tried using technical exams for all hiring and promotions and it was literally all the women who protested, kicked, streamed and threaten to sue the company for discrimination, even tho exams are the #1 way to eliminate discrimination in the work place.
Now we have 78% female managers and supervisors (up from 41% before #metoo started), and basically all the male managers/supervisors and executives are married, while a good chunk of the female higher-ups are single.
Women are masters at accusing men of shit that really women are guilty of. Women HATE sworn bachelors with a deep seated hatred that's in their CORE, same women who then turn around and flex and brag that they're 29 unmarried with 10 simps blowing up their cell phones all day.
@ronaldo75 Yikes that was a bitter read! Get well soon!
I don't even respond.
I do not see that in and of itself as a problem. Some people are picky, and some people are just not super interested in finding a partner. Both of those are okay. So it's not a problem unless it's the thing where they are complaining that they are single because every other person in the world sucks.
Personally no, i do find people become more weary/suspicious as we advance in our years due to our own past hardships. There is also that factor of time where we want to be insured we are not wasting it …but isn’t that the point of dating, the time of getting to know someone?
We live in a world that fixates on the superficial exterior rather then going deeper for our answers. The world of instant gratification conditioned a lot to want instant answers & confirmations. We live in a very contradictory world that finds fault in everything but the Superficial picture. The world regardless of your situation will look for something not “normal” or wrong with you.
I find that people Instantly cancel out somebody because of their single-hood & the fact they don’t have children are guided by fear then being open to learn about you.
Some probably do. I don't have an extensive relationship history. And I've had women stop talking to me after I started sharing my lack of relationship experience. I got nothing to hide, but apparently they find plenty to judge. It's all good, I know what I bring to the table. If she's not smart enough to see it it's her problem.
I have noticed that as well.
My Dad never married. He's got quite a bit wrong with him in terms of being a relationship partner. I had a man 45 propose to me who had never been married and it was... strange. Not empirical data but based on this, it would give me pause.
I think there is nothing wrong with a pause because questions would be going through your head.
Well I would be asking them those questions, yes.
That's neutral but the associated traits can be. Eg recently I met a guy in his 40s at an event and we ended up talking the whole time, he's single and never married and no kids.
Red flag 1 - believes that partners should be each other's only social outlet and thinks girl time is hunting for dick
Red flag 2 - still lives with his parents (quite normal here) but gave me the impression that he's unable to make his own dinner.
I know few who do, not the being married or kids part, just the fact that they are older and still single. I actually met one younger girl few weeks ago (I think she was 27) and I suggested her meeting my single friend (34) and she actually said "nooo I dont date old left-overs". I couldn't believe it myself but yeah there are people who apparently think like that.
To me personally I would like to settle down with a man who already has kids. Because I do not wish to have my own. I don't know why but I never wanted it, ever since I was little I had a huge desire for adopting as many as I can, saving homeless kids, etc. Angelina Jolie was my role model for how many kids she adopted, lol. I would do the same if I had the money. I love kids very much, I volonteer a lot and I want to be a parent! So adopting his kids and being the best possible parent I can to them would be a dream come true.
Doubtful, but it would be a huge red flag to most woman if he is divorced with kids, especially if the mom was granted primary or full custody (as is usually the case).
"Why are you divorced? What did you do? Did you cheat?"
"Ah, another deadbeat dad."
"He obviously just cares about sex"
"Ugh, Why can't men learn to be responsible?"
etc. etc.
Depends. Was he invested in business? Or does he have a long long strain of failed relationships
Business or something else. Caring for a sick person, just never got many opportunities to meet eligible women... etc
yeah I am caring for a sick parent right now so... there are legitmate reasons but it's definitely a head scratch.
Mm. It is a common self sacrifice.
It really depends on his personality and character. I don’t judge a person based on the looks or age. If he has good reasons to stay single in many years, like he doesn’t want kids or doesn’t believe in marriage or hasn’t found the right lady then it’s understandable. But if the guy is violent or rude, then I will take it as a red flag.
Yeah, I’d say it is. I mean who makes it to 45 and gas never been married?
LOL many do
It's not a red flag, in my opinion.
I think it's normal but it's not common.
I have some male friends & cousins who refuse to get married and/or have kids.
When I've asked a few of them about it, they'd each simply tell me that "the lifestyle simply isn't for me."
My cousin actually added, "Sorry, that sounded quite selfish, right? Well, then, I guess I am."
I didn’t. I see saw him as a human being. The more I got to know him…the more flags he was wearing.
it was very very hard…but It can be worked on if willing.
I did. We are married and he is such a good husband. Me lucky girl.
May the end of the day…we all deserve love, understanding.
I work with 99% women…there are a few over 40 now… By then, they know their chance of having a family is almost 0…
Not necessarily, I think ALL people should be judged on their own merits. Nobody can know anyone else’s life experience, or why they do what they do, including waiting until later to marry.
It definitely can be, especially if everyone around him has been in a relationship and he hasn't. It's a pink flag if anything.
Depends on his reasons. If he tells me it's because he wanted a long term partner, I'd tell him he should have started his search sooner. But if he claims he was career focused, well I wouldn't comment on it. It's only a red flag if he behaves like a creep.
@TacosRAwesome has given a good live examples of creepy behavior :
Red flag 1 - believes that partners should be each other's only social outlet and thinks girl time is hunting for dick
Red flag 2 - still lives with his parents (quite normal here) but gave me the impression that he's unable to make his own dinner.
Not necessarily. It just means that he refuses to compromise and settle down with someone who is wrong for him. It’s better being never married than settling down with the wrong person and being single but divorced three times.
I think the better Q is Do men see women who are over the age of 45 who have never been married or had kids a RED FLAG?
It definitely can go both ways but the question is for data consumption.
I said Yes
I agree
but that’s not the question. the question is asking about what WOMEN think about MEN in this situation. as much as you want to turn this into a bash women comment and post, that’s not the case at hand.
@sassy_receptor. Thank you for telling me what I mean, but you have NOT interpreted me correctly.
then what did you mean?
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