I personally prefer everything to be happening in person rather than through dating apps, social media, texts or calls.
I do not mind making first steps after being approached but I believe the first step / approach should come from the guy.
Is it wrong wanting to be approached by a guy?
I was extremely shy and terrified of girls as a young guy.
I worked hard to get over those aspects of my personality.
I quickly got 'caught'.
If I were to ever in the future find myself uncaught, I would have no problem in making a first move if I felt the inclination to do so.
I think you're looking for thoughts from young guys, though.
I'm just throwing in my two cents, mainly to let the shy young guys out there know that they can change themselves if they want to.
Ya absolutely you just don’t get that same connection online. Online people are just looking for what looks good on pictures but even pictures have better angles and stuff. It’s just a mess I find. The pool of people are really strange in my opinion. Girls never seem to be able to find a long term boyfriend. And guys are just looking for sex
And oddly the two barely match up with each other because the females all go for the same guys lol and the rest of the guys get nothing and most of the girls are just heartbroken because they are going for the same type of guys. They think because it’s online they can secretly snag a super hot guy lol
You didn’t post an option for “I don’t want to end up in prison for approaching women”.
Also there is no “first move” AFTER the first move. If you expect men to make the first move, the next move is NOT the first move. You’re making second or third moves.
You expect men to endanger their lives and livelihoods so that you don’t have to experience rejection. As long as you understand that only idiots are still doing that, you’ll be fine. Otherwise follow-up complaints about the quality of men who approach you are moot. Smart guys who value themselves aren’t falling for that trap anymore. You’re welcome! Ell oh ell!
That’s the problem , what you are going to realize is that those guys that you are hoping that will approach you are the same guys hoping a girl will approach them, most people in general are shy and nervous of taking the chance of being denied and embarrassed to be turned down , so most people will keep their mouths shut and not say a word because they are shy and nervous , Not everyone has the don’t give a fuck attitude like I do lol I use to be shy until I realized I have nothing to lose , it’s better to take the chance then not take the chance at all is the way I look at things , if I see a beautiful girl like yourself that catches my eye I am going for it , if she denies me oh well at least I tried
Disastrous stats for girls who prefer guys to approach them. I mis-keyed and meant to vote A but it would depend on the venue to a large degree. A lot of places are unfriendly. There is a nightclub in Sydney Australia that announced it was actively discouraging men from approaching or even looking at girls and would chuck them out.
I'd have to say that was a hostile environment to meet a girl. It also depends on the crowd on a particular night too. Sometimes you get the feeling the girls will call the cops if you say hello.
For myself I occupy the bar. Every girl will come to the bar sooner or later. At least you immediately have that in common.
I've done it but only selectively. I don't mind doing it because I can control who I interact with, but the problem is that most women don't a) put themselves in positions to be approached, and b) don't communicate that they want to be approached.
So as a guy, your opportunities are rather limited, especially if you have standards, and you always run the risk of giving unwanted attention if you cold approach.
The last two times I approached a girl and made small talk to get her number, the first one gave me the "boyfriend excuse", which may or may not have been true, and the second one gave me her # but never responded to my text. After enough of these, you end up wondering if it's even worth approaching at all.
I don't approach.
There are huge problems with it:
1. If I don't know her well, I don't know if I am interested. What if she has stds? What if she doesn't like the same hobbies? Or have the same interests? Or the same level of sex drive? etc, etc.
2. Men aproaching women unsolicted with intent to ask her out, is viewed as sexual harrassment now, so not only would I be worried about her moving too fast, expecting too much interest, or putting me at risk for infection. I'd also have to worry about getting arrested, just because I thought she was pretty and wanted to ask questions about her personality, health, and what she is like mentally.
You (women in general) really make it hard for us, you won't approach, but you also won't let any guy approach (even though thats what you want). Women have made dating nearly impossible these days.
One of the reasons I didn't get a girlfriend until 27 was that it took a lot of courage for me to ask a girl out and several times I waited too long. The one girl that I almost dated before, I was unable to ask out because I was in a coma when I was going to and another guy asked her out after I woke up but was still in the hospital. Since she lived in a different city than I was hospitalized in, I didn't think it would be good to call her up from my hospital bed to ask her on a date when I returned, which turned out to be in week 8 of a 10-week trimester (I was hospitalized week 3).
I just don't approach girls anymore because I put myself in their shoes and think they'd not want to be bothered by me. I'm not visually attractive, just a nice guy but looks are important.
I used to ask girls out, always got shot down, but now I've kind of realised I'm just not destined to find anyone.
Only comment I'd make is I feel like guy making the move first is old fashioned and I feel like whoever feels some way, should approach whether it's the guy or girl
u yes, I "still" do that
and I never stopped, and it was never an issue to me either
I never relied on the digital world in order to interact with people and at least here where I live... it's still quite the norm for people to interact with one another in person, so for me it hasn't changed... and it still goes both ways, I can approach women and women still approach me as well, no difference
I do. But I’m cautious.. never know if you are going to look at a girl and she thinks you are ugly, feels some type of way and then cries that she was sexually harassed by just being approached by a guy she didn’t like. So it’s more measured.
I do talk to girls out regularly however I also do very well online dating and right now am thinking I prefer the results from online dating atm. Now if I go back to college campus that's a great place to talk to girls so fuck yes. But I don't often find myself in places w many hot girls. So with apps I can still get a college girl for example without being anywhere near a college. So it's working well in that way.
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