What do you think lying about age when dating? Deal breaker or red flag?

Question

The girl I've been dating for 2 months told me that she lied about her age since she is 18. What do you think lying about age? Is it a deal breaker or red flag?

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Some are fearful you'll think they're too young. others fearful you'll think they're too old. Who knows where these attitudes come from? Home? Society? Peers?

Only worry anyone should have is if a person is a minor in whatever state they're living in. THEN you have a problem. Or if a person is SO old, they're had all their body parts replaced! Whoa! The anti-rejection drugs!

But, truthfully, there are no red flags about lying about age. It's usually because the person thinks you'll judge them inappropriate to date. And she did finally tell you.

I'm sure many will say, "well if they lie about this, what else are they lying about." We're talking age prejudice. Not about their job, parents, finances, home, whether they have children or not, were in prison, are terminally ill, have a mental illness. And for many of THOSE issues, you can certainly say they aren't things a person will share casually and would be revealed later in a relationship. Just as your girlfriend revealed her age to you a little later on...

Caramalkisses23 · Accepted Answer

A lie is a lie in my book regardless of how small it is. I think to make the lie justified, I would like to know why exactly did she lie? What was her specific reason? If she’s younger and lied about being older- obviously that’s a problem because it could have ruined someone’s life if she’s under age. if she’s older and lied about being younger, I would be concerned as well because how old are you?
Sometimes knowing exactly why a person lied can give you more insight on their decision to lie.
However a lie is a lie. And if she’ll lie for something small then she will definitely will lie for something big.

JamesDiaz11 · Accepted Answer

I don't personally think it's that big a deal, but it should be addressed eventually if you're going to be serious. Ask the person why they lied- it may not be nefarious.

I've lied about my age plenty in dating- it's actually a pretty common thing. Guys will put their age lower to be within the target of younger women, and younger women will adjust their age upward to get into the range of their target men.

I don't mean to be cliche, but age is just a number. If you're physically attracted to someone, why tf does it matter if they're 18 rather than 21? Or that they're 25 as opposed to 29? You can't lie excessively- for example, a 35 year old couldn't pass as 15, but if you're an adult, take care of yourself, and are attractive then what difference does this make?

People take age as a substitute to knowing someone's life experience. They assume an 18 year old is like virgin snow, 26 is experienced, and 35 must be established- but this doesn't always fit.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

I've never lied about my age, even if the truth might hurt my chances. Like, I look much younger than I really am, a lot of people are shocked when I tell them how I old I am. Younger women get disappointed when they find out I'm older than I look, and I have to prove to the older women - the ones I like - that I'm not very young lol. But I'll never lie about my age.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

No matter WHY someone lies, a lie is a lie and a dealbreaker. I want a partner I can trust not one that would start off with lies from the get go…Lying is bad enough, even worse when people try to justify lying🤷‍♀️

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don't lie about my age when dating but I might hide my age when I'm around friends or church contacts. I don't lie, I just refuse to answer questions about my age. But if a guy dates me, I think he has a right to know my age.

AviatorTom · Answer

It depends how big the lie is. Most of us want to be younger, so telling your date you're a bit younger than you actually are shouldn't be a problem. If there's a huge difference between what you say and what you are, that can be a problem.

coachTanthony · Answer

Nothing like starting off a new relationship with a lie so yeah dealbreaker.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If you now tell her that it is okay to lie to you, what do you think happens later?

Anonymous · Answer

I confess I have subtracted 4 years from my age on a few dating apps in the past. Judge me all you want for doing that but I was always honest when I met up with women in person. None of them turned me down at that point either I never catfished with my profile pics either. They were always current and honest.

The thing is women are so quick to judge and reject but once a man his foot in the door and she gets to know him she often might be more likely to give him a chance. But again women are much more fickle in the early stages.

Anyway I am not saying what I did above is right or okay. But from my experiences women are more likely to forgive a man who gave her a “feel good” yet embellished image in the early stages vs accept a man who gave her the not so feel good hard truth off the bat.

Again women make decisions on emotions.

Paulalove98 · Answer

Nobody should lie about that kind of stuff because age matters when it comes to relationships due to laws and various states/countries having different laws just so nobody gets in trouble but honestly I wouldn't be happy if someone lied to me because if their lying about that, what else are they hiding? My boyfriend is 20 and I'm 24 and honestly he looks 18 but I'm glad he's truthful about his age.

phild2 · Answer

The date is to learn more of the person you are connecting with. this is the opportunity to really look at who you are planning to be with for a long-term. if there are lies from the very beginning, then the relationship is starting out with a poor foundation. On any date, even if it’s the first day. You want to be as truthful and honest to who you are. This also includes financially. You should like the person for who they are and not for what they have or for what they think you have or what they want you to believe on who they are. You should never set up false expectations. It will create a poor foundation and the relationship will end up in failure.

MCheetah · Answer

I don't care as long as she's of legal age (claiming she's 24 when she's really 17) or not too old (claiming she's 34, when she's really 41.)

As for your case, the implications here kind of creep me out. Are you implying you were going after minors, or that you thought you were with a 20-23 year old who's actually 18? I really hope for your sake, it's the latter.

DollAlone · Answer

Definitely not a deal breaker or red flag. Some women (and men) just do it to be older or younger. Its normal. But if she is like lying abiut her age and is saying she is 10 years younger when she really is 10 years older than you, thats a red flag for her being dumb enough to think she would get away with it

AdithyaR · Answer

It'd be dealbreaker for me, not because of what their actual age is. But because I'd consider it a very petty thing to lie about and makes me doubt what else they could be lying about me.

Unless of course they were lying and the person was underage, then that's a major problem.

Beop111 · Answer

I'd love to say that it's a deal breaker and all lies are lies. However, the simple truth is everybody lies in some ways. If this is he only lie that you've found then really it's not that big of a deal. However, if you keep finding out she's lied about other things as well, then I'd probably move on to someone else.

watercolor_lions · Answer

Deal breaker. What if she's lying about other things? Honesty is a requirement in a relationship.

sheikalana · Answer

It would be a deal breaker for me. I don't understand why would someone hide their real age to their partner. If you can lie about something so basic you can probably lie about something much worse too.

all_hayl · Answer

Deal breaker. If they’re gonna lie about that then who knows what else they’re lying about. They aren’t trustworthy.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

If she's 18 she's just young and dumb and probably really likes you. So nbd. If she was really 35 then I'd tell you to kick her to the curb immediately.

It's like if I sold you say a mustang and you found out it actually had a Ferrari engine swap and i didn't want to advertise it because i wanted to make sure you would appreciate the vehicle you would be like sweet. If it had a lawnmower engine swap I am just a scammer.

Daniela1982 · Answer

That's up to you. Do you really want someone whose word you can't trust?

BCA6010 · Answer

There is no circumstance whatsoever in which a date lying about his/her age (or really lying in general) shouldn't be grounds to immediately terminate the relationship.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Lying is always a dealbreaker, regardless the excuse.

Kuharo · Answer

It depends how much more lies he had and what is the reason of it. If i found out that the guy only lied about his age 4-5 years older, i think i can accept that. Because i honestly can date 10 years older than me. If the age is the only thing he lied about. Just like what people says.. all human did lie over something. 🤷🏻‍♀️

FlutteringFeelings · Answer

If someone can lie about something that’s so simple like an age? I can only imagine the biggest thing they’re willing to lie about. A guy did that to me before and he’s cut off

CubsterShura · Answer

I am not too sure as I haven't dealt with a situation like that. I want to say dealbreaker but I feel like if their actual age isn't too far off I wouldn't be that offended.

Rania05 · Answer

Deal breaker and red flag at once, I'd never lie about something as important as age, it's very basic decency to not do this

Literalbillionaire17 · Answer

It’s weird tbh. I find it weird specifically bc I like older men. Older men (not all but some) have a problem with lying about age. They’re 43 but they tell u they’re 39. To me the age doesn’t matter but I don’t like that lying

MissMidWest · Answer

Shoes inmaturity for sure and a rad flag that she thinks it ok do that in first place. I would be on high alert in I was in your shoes. If she was 16 you could be in trouble with law and not even know why.

melanieeeB · Answer

Red flag for me, if this person already has to lie about something so stupid, who knows what else they're lying about

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

That's a deal-breaker.  They show I cannot trust them. What else would they be lying about.  And it's manipulative as well.

dustybiker · Answer

Does plant a seed of doubt. That’s what cheating does. If done once it’s more likely to happen again.

pupluv45 · Answer

Lying about age shows you are a liar. And it is a good sign you will lie again to get your way. I rejected a guy for being a smooth talker at one point. Never date someone who is dishonest

tiamatx · Answer

Dealbreaker. If she was under 18 and lied - just insane.

QuietVerbena · Answer

Why did she lie? How old did she say she was?

Evie_Rose91608 · Answer

It depends on how. Say I'm 14 and a boy I like is 16. I might say I'm 15. Thats not bad. but if someones 30 and says their 20 that's bad.

exitseven · Answer

I dated a girl who was 27 she told me she was 25 . I was 22 and I told her I was 24. We had a good laugh about it

Sasha0426 · Answer

Major red flag. My guy, you were lucky she’s 18 because your ass would’ve been locked up if she wasn’t legal age.

DrBanana · Answer

Deal breaker for me, I don’t personally mind if some one is a few years older or younger but that being said if the person lies about that what else could they tweak information wise about themselves.

YourFavoriteFriend · Answer

Yep! Red flag and also a deal breaker as her age may determine my decision to be with her.

MountAverage · Answer

I'm sorry but how is that even a question? How is that not a deal breaker? Shouldn't it be obvious that it is?

Anonymous · Answer

Can be dangerous. My wife told me she was 20 when we first started dating. She lied by about 5 years.

Lgmswolf024 · Answer

It depends on the situation. if a 25 year old told me he’s 19 and i later found out his real age I’d be a little uneasy.

Pohjolan · Answer

A BIG red flag. If she lied about this knowing that the truth would eventually be revealed; what else did she lie about?

Fuentes · Answer

I can find out about anyone's age in a few seconds, so if they lied I woulda known before I met them.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Its quite dangerous. Like really what if it turns out to be a minor and you're dating her? You can be convicted for that so it's a red flag.

Imthatgirl1993 · Answer

It's a deal breaker for me. I had an ex lie about his age and turned out he lied about other things as well. Also, not a good way to start a relationship.

imfreeze95 · Answer

I think lying in a relationship in general is a red flag

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Not if they are truth ful during next few dates

Anonymous · Answer

It really depends. If she says she's 22 but she's really 19 that's a red flag. If she's really 17 that's a deal breaker!

Anonymous · Answer

I think if you start off lying then why are you even dating. Do both of you a favor and just end the date.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Red flag. If they are willing to lie about such petty stuff then other lies will come ahead.

Sailormoon95 · Answer

Lying at the beginning stages of a relationship is a bioiiig red flag

Zolly99999 · Answer

It's not good... I did it before and it caused all kinds of problems..

mandyfire98 · Answer

Lying at all is definitely a red flag.

SplatoonFan2 · Answer

Yes, lying is a deal breaker and being wary of some girls looking older but they are not.

MsCarta · Answer

Honesty that’s up to u. Ask yourself how big of a deal is it to you?

DevikaButts95 · Answer

Huge red flag, 99% of the time anyways.

DermalPunch · Answer

Any lie is bad.

fonduegirl · Answer

Definitely both

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Lies in general are a red flag.

Charliefretz329 · Answer

All lying is a red flag.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Yeah this is huge lol

boobliker · Answer

it's a no go as if younger it could be bad

What do you think lying about age when dating? Deal breaker or red flag?

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Is lying about age a deal breaker?

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Is lying about age a deal breaker?

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