Should I ghost or should I message him saying I don’t want to be involved with him anymore?

Question

Long story short, me and him have been talking for 3 months. Today we were supposed to go on a date and he has yet to mention us going out and it’s almost 8 pm. I’ve tried talking to him twice about how he has been treating me before today. Should I ghost or is it better to flat out tell him that I no longer want to be involved?

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

Be upfront and straight forward. Let him know you're not interested. If you decide to block him and cut him off after telling him you're no longer interested it's up to you but you should be mature enough to tell him you're not interested.

melanieeeB · Accepted Answer

Just text him something along the line of like hey sorry but I don't see us working out anymore and would like to end the contact

MrJoJo27 · Accepted Answer

I would be completely direct with him, make your feelings clear even if he doesn't do the same because then he can't come back with some "Oh I thought you meant this" or "It felt like you wanted space" bs

Static_In_The_Attic · Accepted Answer

What goes around comes around & instead of ghosting the joker just be open & honest with him.

DaveJord · Answer

When I find myself in these situations, it all deepens on the circumstances. So, after talking or trying to talk about any given issue, without success or avail... then I send the goodbye message.

"I don't think this is working for me anymore. I really apricate all the time of effort you have put into this. At this point I do not think it is working for me. I want to wish you the very best luck going forward. Thanks again."

I try to keep it positive, after that I block them, because honestly there is no going back on that type of decision once it made. Now in special circumstance I did not block them right way, I waited to see if they would reply to it. If they replied with anything other, than exactly what I want to hear I block then without response.

For the ones that replied, and I did not block, but responded to... I always regretted not just blocking them. But I always send the goodbye message before straight ghosting. So technically I never ghost on anyone.

Guy13 · Answer

Ghost and Go always loses out to Politeness and Graciousness. Clearly P/G places this one on a higher or acceptable moral ground. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I prefer can we meet in text. And eye-eye…if No I can’t then give me call tonight. I told her the truth…wasn’t like I texted and ghosted not responding.

Avicenna · Answer

Tell him so you have closure and he knows he can’t try again sometime in the future

coachTanthony · Answer

Tell him so there is no confusion. Then block him.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Did you ever once meet in person?

Anonymous · Answer

He is leading you on if he hasn't talked about going out anywhere.. Or he is just not that trully into you. if the guy isn't walking his talk.. Forget him.. Any guy who wants someone, won't just slack and give crumbs and put themselves in a place to lose you. Maybe staying
with you for attention if your well known.

I would not put up with mind games.. If your the only one putting in effort.. its one sided.. Just let him go.. If he asks.. Just say" I am sorry but I do not feel we are a good match, I do not want to continue our relationship together anymore.." its not easy to do.. And sometimes i have had to block in some cases of people not handling that well..

3 months is way too much time to talj. and never having had a date.. its wasting time.. Not an expert. Just beware the guy who wants you only when it suits him and if you want anything, dont bother.. I would say i dont want to be involved anymore.. Even if he begs and pleads you to stay.. dont fall for if.. You can't lie to yourself pretending your into someone when your not and he should not feel he has a chance, if he doesn't, due to just" being nice."Dunno.. Again i am no expert.. Got to do whats right for you..

ohsheeT · Answer

Well what you need to do is turn it around what would you want him to do if it was the other way around. Look you started out his friends and in time something went wrong or whatever so explain that to him and then say goodbye and walk away yeah you have to remember there's two sides to every story but there's no reason why you can't be mature about it there's no reason why since it's a breakup type thing that there has to be anger involved that's just ridiculous but you need to do whatever you feel you want to do

ShellyB · Answer

There is a level of communication that is not as extreme as ghosting, I don't know if there is a word for it, but it is what I would probably do in this situation, which is be minimally civil, for example if he asks you a question answer it in as few words as possible, never initiate a conversation if he goes a week without speaking to you that is fine you don't talk that week. The reason is so if he has something he wants to say to you including an apology or explanation, he can still do it, he knows he can still do it, but otherwise you are signaling that it's over and you are not putting more effort or energy into it. JMO!

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Unless you have reason to fear for your life and livelihood, you should break up with someone face to face. If they are a threat, a text so that you can keep their response for proof of their violent tendencies.
Only children just stop talking and hope another person will just take the hint and go away.

raven6933 · Answer

Ghosting someone shows signs of immaturity. It's also a sign of bad character. Just be honest while having some tact and you'll find he may understand. Unless it's the whole poor pitiful me victimhood to try and guilt you to stay. Say your peace and move on. You'll feel better knowing that you were honest no matter the outcome. Also do it in person. Words can be taken out of context when it's not face to face. This way you're not leading anyone on.

NathanDavis · Answer

good choice...

personally, I like to know, for good or bad... I need to know reasons, because I am about reasoning, and also, I think it is very important to express ourselves and not just bottle them up

I do believe in closure and that goes both ways, giving and receiving it

MichaelEspinoza · Answer

Be upfront & straightforward with him , I mean really if I was in a relationship with a girl I would like for her to be honest when she Text me not. & Not give mixed signals of - " i like you but I don't know " - I like you but not sure if we should move to the next step or if you lead the person on you don't have feelings for the person you just want to use them.

MrCon10t · Answer

Ghosting is way worse! There’s no closure for the one being ghosted. He/she has no idea why you left, which means they will naturally feel like they weren’t good enough for you without a single clue as to why or how to fix that potential personal issue. It’s even worse on someone who is prone to depression. Just be honest.

Anonymous · Answer

With out more its really hard to say. But it kinda sounds like he WANTS you to ghost him. If he is just being low contact if any and is also super late and not even mentioning it. He is probably just waiting for you to pull the plug so he doesn’t have to

DiegoO · Answer

Grow up. Be straight up honest and don't message him again. If he continue to message you after your honesty, it's him problem, not yours.

⚠️All what I said don't apply we with abussive partners. In extreme cases, 0 communication is adviced.

Jeklfux · Answer

Just feed him to the lions sweetheart because if he was really interested in your relationship he'd at least be careful about treating you badly and show some sort of excitement about your date. But I'd wait till tomorrow just in case he has a late date surprise.

Messianic_Monk · Answer

I've done it before... it is so awful. I feel terrible about it all the time. Just be straightforward. It might be uncomfortable and it might hurt them, but ghosting will make it worse. They deserve to know.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

I get how tat’s upsetting. But still, ghosting someone is such a cowardly thing to do. Just tell him how much that hurt and you don’t need that BS in your life. It’s east, and you’ll never get that nagging feeling that you did the wrong thing.

Blackmoonsns · Answer

Well it depends if you want to screw with his head ghost him, if you want to give him a clear cut picture we're done tell him directly we're done don't text me again your choice.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

Ghosting is worse because they don’t even know what they did wrong. Like going up tor a hi-five and they snub you as they pass by. Pretty messed

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Message. It's only respectful and he won't bother you because he knows now that you aren't interested in taking things further. Treat him how you want to be treated.

Guccigabbana18 · Answer

Message him. Be nice but honest and straightforward about it. Do not ghost, you've been talking for 3 months.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

The proper & considerate thing to do is to tell him straight to his face.

PhenomenalQueen · Answer

I think you should be straight up and honest.. Please don’t ghost him.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Don’t put all your apples in one basket.  continue talking to others, have a fun life without putting him on the pedestal.

Multi_personality · Answer

I say - speak your mind and be clear.  I dont want to date you ------ You make me feel ----- Be firm and don't back down.

Faith18letsgo · Answer

I’d flat out tell him unless you think he’s going to try to win you back and be successful then just ghost him.

Beop111 · Answer

You should never ghost anyone. It's highly disrespectful and rude. Grow some balls and tell him you're moving on. You can try and do it gently and politely, but you still need to do it.

t_time · Answer

Be Upfront and honest. I have Been ghosted, it really hurt my feelings. If they were upfront honest I would have been less hurt.

aaron210419 · Answer

Rejecting someone may feel awkward or hard to do but it's respectful because it doesn't leave the other person guessing. Ghosting someone is childish and can be emotionally damaging.

AsaKyo · Answer

Tell him you just don't wanna be bothered with him anymore It'll sting for a little bit, but he'll get over it

OddBeMe · Answer

Toughy, as a lot of true crime shows start this way… I’d ghost him slowly. Keeping him at arms length. Be ever endearing…on the phone. But try to get him to lost interest.

ZenJen444 · Answer

He's basically walked away from you already. His behavior sounds very intentional like he's not interested. He will most likely pop up days later like nothing ever happened I'd just block him. Can't ghost someone who has basically ghosted you.

Neilbud · Answer

I would try and meet up with him and tell him how you feel. From the sounds of it he is not that interested anyways. A person's that is interested will make time when he can.

JDAC092299 · Answer

I think it’s a mix of preference and circumstance, I’d like to be rejected rather than ignored but everyone is different.

Tranquility_Lady · Answer

Ghosting is worse for me but then rejecting someone and not getting to be their friend because of the rejection is just as bad

A_Bell · Answer

Don't ghost, it makes you a jerk. Show respect as you'd want to be shown respect.

Evie_Rose91608 · Answer

Ask him (in person is better if possible) if he actually wants to give you and him a real chance, then make a decision based on that.

the_bruh · Answer

It depends on how you see and feel about the other person, if you like them you'd probably get hurt.

dustybiker · Answer

Be the adult in the relationship. End it with a little respect for yourself.

Wish4UrB00ty · Answer

Lol! It sounds like he is doing a fair attempt at ghosting himself.

RavVid · Answer

I think you have a dead horse. I wouldn't bother doing anything if I were you.

MissMidWest · Answer

Don't ghos. You are better then to leave someone stressing about you. Put the shoe on the other foot

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I would ghost him this will open his eyes up.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Ghost until he reaches out first, then you can tell him you no longer want to be involved.

DavidRaul · Answer

You shouldn't ghost him. Just make your feelings clear. Everyone deserves a closure

Luopio27 · Answer

I ghost toxic and over dramatic people. I reject online dates.

Iron_Man · Answer

Never ghost anybody talk to people face-to-face in person if it’s a long distance, relationship do it on the phone but always try to fix it

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Just tell him and tell you why so there's no misconceptions about how and why you feel the way you do

ArtemisSilver · Answer

Be classy and provide him a respectful explanation.

nawtee_me · Answer

Ghosting isn’t right and I know what he is doing isn’t either but two wrongs don’t make a right. Be the better person….

Nerdbod · Answer

I would tell him. nothing worst than talking to someone and they just go quiet.

Arik_jade · Answer

I should tell him that u are interested and do not ghost 👻

dazzinu69 · Answer

Just tell him once and then he should get the hint when you don't reply anymore

Shiningtempest · Answer

@kylee2437 Being upfront is better because ghosting is rude & immature.

Synikal · Answer

Tell him. No one is considered a real mind reader... from what I know of. Plus you both have a direct answer.

McKellar · Answer

I've gone through both and none of them are great.

dragoblack · Answer

Good with being honest. Ghosting should only be done when the guy is being an asshole or a creep

Manuel2 · Answer

You should tell him you are ghosting him from now on

Jltakk · Answer

Honest communication is the adult way to handle things.

Should I ghost or should I message him saying I don’t want to be involved with him anymore?

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Should I just ghost him?

Should I ghost or should I message him saying I don’t want to be involved with him anymore?

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Should I just ghost him?

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