Should I ghost or should I message him saying I don’t want to be involved with him anymore?

Question

Long story short, me and him have been talking for 3 months. Today we were supposed to go on a date and he has yet to mention us going out and it’s almost 8 pm. I’ve tried talking to him twice about how he has been treating me before today. Should I ghost or is it better to flat out tell him that I no longer want to be involved?

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

Be upfront and straight forward. Let him know you're not interested. If you decide to block him and cut him off after telling him you're no longer interested it's up to you but you should be mature enough to tell him you're not interested.

melanieeeB · Accepted Answer

Just text him something along the line of like hey sorry but I don't see us working out anymore and would like to end the contact

MrJoJo27 · Accepted Answer

I would be completely direct with him, make your feelings clear even if he doesn't do the same because then he can't come back with some "Oh I thought you meant this" or "It felt like you wanted space" bs

Static_In_The_Attic · Accepted Answer

What goes around comes around & instead of ghosting the joker just be open & honest with him.

DaveJord · Answer

When I find myself in these situations, it all deepens on the circumstances. So, after talking or trying to talk about any given issue, without success or avail... then I send the goodbye message.

"I don't think this is working for me anymore. I really apricate all the time of effort you have put into this. At this point I do not think it is working for me. I want to wish you the very best luck going forward. Thanks again."

I try to keep it positive, after that I block them, because honestly there is no going back on that type of decision once it made. Now in special circumstance I did not block them right way, I waited to see if they would reply to it. If they replied with anything other, than exactly what I want to hear I block then without response.

For the ones that replied, and I did not block, but responded to... I always regretted not just blocking them. But I always send the goodbye message before straight ghosting. So technically I never ghost on anyone.

Guy13 · Answer

Ghost and Go always loses out to Politeness and Graciousness. Clearly P/G places this one on a higher or acceptable moral ground. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I prefer can we meet in text. And eye-eye…if No I can’t then give me call tonight. I told her the truth…wasn’t like I texted and ghosted not responding.

Avicenna · Answer

Tell him so you have closure and he knows he can’t try again sometime in the future

coachTanthony · Answer

Tell him so there is no confusion. Then block him.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Did you ever once meet in person?

Anonymous · Answer

He is leading you on if he hasn't talked about going out anywhere.. Or he is just not that trully into you. if the guy isn't walking his talk.. Forget him.. Any guy who wants someone, won't just slack and give crumbs and put themselves in a place to lose you. Maybe staying
with you for attention if your well known.

I would not put up with mind games.. If your the only one putting in effort.. its one sided.. Just let him go.. If he asks.. Just say" I am sorry but I do not feel we are a good match, I do not want to continue our relationship together anymore.." its not easy to do.. And sometimes i have had to block in some cases of people not handling that well..

3 months is way too much time to talj. and never having had a date.. its wasting time.. Not an expert. Just beware the guy who wants you only when it suits him and if you want anything, dont bother.. I would say i dont want to be involved anymore.. Even if he begs and pleads you to stay.. dont fall for if.. You can't lie to yourself pretending your into someone when your not and he should not feel he has a chance, if he doesn't, due to just" being nice."Dunno.. Again i am no expert.. Got to do whats right for you..

ohsheeT · Answer

Well what you need to do is turn it around what would you want him to do if it was the other way around. Look you started out his friends and in time something went wrong or whatever so explain that to him and then say goodbye and walk away yeah you have to remember there's two sides to every story but there's no reason why you can't be mature about it there's no reason why since it's a breakup type thing that there has to be anger involved that's just ridiculous but you need to do whatever you feel you want to do

ShellyB · Answer

There is a level of communication that is not as extreme as ghosting, I don't know if there is a word for it, but it is what I would probably do in this situation, which is be minimally civil, for example if he asks you a question answer it in as few words as possible, never initiate a conversation if he goes a week without speaking to you that is fine you don't talk that week. The reason is so if he has something he wants to say to you including an apology or explanation, he can still do it, he knows he can still do it, but otherwise you are signaling that it's over and you are not putting more effort or energy into it. JMO!

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Unless you have reason to fear for your life and livelihood, you should break up with someone face to face. If they are a threat, a text so that you can keep their response for proof of their violent tendencies.
Only children just stop talking and hope another person will just take the hint and go away.

raven6933 · Answer

Ghosting someone shows signs of immaturity. It's also a sign of bad character. Just be honest while having some tact and you'll find he may understand. Unless it's the whole poor pitiful me victimhood to try and guilt you to stay. Say your peace and move on. You'll feel better knowing that you were honest no matter the outcome. Also do it in person. Words can be taken out of context when it's not face to face. This way you're not leading anyone on.

NathanDavis · Answer

good choice...

personally, I like to know, for good or bad... I need to know reasons, because I am about reasoning, and also, I think it is very important to express ourselves and not just bottle them up

I do believe in closure and that goes both ways, giving and receiving it

MichaelEspinoza · Answer

Be upfront & straightforward with him , I mean really if I was in a relationship with a girl I would like for her to be honest when she Text me not. & Not give mixed signals of - " i like you but I don't know " - I like you but not sure if we should move to the next step or if you lead the person on you don't have feelings for the person you just want to use them.

MrCon10t · Answer

Ghosting is way worse! There’s no closure for the one being ghosted. He/she has no idea why you left, which means they will naturally feel like they weren’t good enough for you without a single clue as to why or how to fix that potential personal issue. It’s even worse on someone who is prone to depression. Just be honest.

Anonymous · Answer

With out more its really hard to say. But it kinda sounds like he WANTS you to ghost him. If he is just being low contact if any and is also super late and not even mentioning it. He is probably just waiting for you to pull the plug so he doesn’t have to

DiegoO · Answer

Grow up. Be straight up honest and don't message him again. If he continue to message you after your honesty, it's him problem, not yours.

⚠️All what I said don't apply we with abussive partners. In extreme cases, 0 communication is adviced.

Jeklfux · Answer

Just feed him to the lions sweetheart because if he was really interested in your relationship he'd at least be careful about treating you badly and show some sort of excitement about your date. But I'd wait till tomorrow just in case he has a late date surprise.

Messianic_Monk · Answer

I've done it before... it is so awful. I feel terrible about it all the time. Just be straightforward. It might be uncomfortable and it might hurt them, but ghosting will make it worse. They deserve to know.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

I get how tat’s upsetting. But still, ghosting someone is such a cowardly thing to do. Just tell him how much that hurt and you don’t need that BS in your life. It’s east, and you’ll never get that nagging feeling that you did the wrong thing.

Blackmoonsns · Answer

Well it depends if you want to screw with his head ghost him, if you want to give him a clear cut picture we're done tell him directly we're done don't text me again your choice.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

Ghosting is worse because they don’t even know what they did wrong. Like going up tor a hi-five and they snub you as they pass by. Pretty messed

Should I ghost or should I message him saying I don’t want to be involved with him anymore?

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