Dating

Two men? Or become a lesbian?

So I have two men who want to be with me:My boyfriend and my ex friends with benefits. I have the worst luck bc for my whole life no one found me worthy or desirable bc I have a physical disability that causes me to walk talk and look differently. I never thought I'll have a boyfriend now im stuck in between two men who i love dearly. And the sex is so good with my friends with benefits but my boyfriend gives head better. I know deep down im more in love with my friends with benefits but my boyfriend is more emotionally open which i like. My boyfriend is a sweetheart and I was so in love with him for 4 years but he didn't find me attractive until last year when my friends with benefits started pursuing me. At that point i accepted the fact he'd never feel the same way and fell in love with my friends with benefits. But my friends with benefits had a long distance girlfriend whom he broke up with to be with me. But i already started dating my boyfriend a day before. At this point im considering exploring a woman and ghosting them both
Two men? Or become a lesbian?
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