Two women who are friends both like me, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I'd hate to come between them but I actually do like one of them back and wanna ask her out, what should I do?

[Rosexøxø]

Ask them in a public place- the three of you together.

Ask in general, looking at an item in hand (don’t make eye contact with either of them first or holding any eye contact). Saying something like:

”I just wanted to be sure because I didn’t know if I got that vibe or not, but do you guys like me?”

maybe and additional:

”it’s okay if no, but I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.”

let them discuss it and catch each other’s actions.

Meanwhile, before having had this conversation, ask yourself if you like either of them and if so which one do you like.

That way when they both situate things in front of you, you can eventually get your choice out and let the winning girl console the losing one.

YOU- if you like them both- pick only ONE or neither.

The fact that you actually questioned shows me you don’t see any one of them as significant, so just respect the sistership, as you respect the bro code.

You al late friends, so don’t want to ruin that

..

or maybe you do m, I don't know. Hope you don’t though lol

[Rosexøxø]

You all are friends*

[Asker]

Turns out they both knew that the other liked me and both agreed to flirt with me to see which one I liked better.

[Asker]

And I've developed romantic feelings for one of them.

[Rosexøxø]

Oh yeah, I’m sorry- I just read the title and thought it was self-explanatory. 🤷‍♀️

I feel like this is a common issue, but usually the guy doesn’t ask a question with the likes of this, while simultaneously having feelings already for one of them (the girl).

I get maybe you truly value the friendship, or you don’t want the girl you like to be hurt if she lost her bsf.

The fact they both flirted and waited is kind of I don't know.. it’s child’s play.. a tiny tiny bit, but expected from a girl, or girls, who want to see if they are the “apple of a man’s eye.”

The thing is, they didn’t think of: it would jeopardize the friendship. Waiting is cool, but provoking with flirts is not okay. 🧐

In purely sexual scenarios, it’s okay, but in friendships and serious matters, it’s kind of a turn-off.

I would think if they cared about you, they’d possibly tell the other one “hey I like him, please let me have him.”

The fact they both went along with this, may mean one of them did declare feelings for you, but the other chimed in equal ambition, so they resorted to: let the best woman win.

Like a few have said earlier. You can’t really cushion or protect people’s feelings in the sense of preserving their happiness.

I think your basic options would be:

•Telling the one you like- you like her

• Leaving them both for another crazy fun lady, or something lmao

Or saying that you’d like to date both of them at least 2 -3 times. Just to see,

[Rosexøxø]

BUT

you’re all friends and NOT strangers, so you don’t need to actually date. You said yourself, you already have feelings for one. ☝️

So

Best to tell HER, and plan with her, on how to break the news to the third friend *together.*

If you both say it together, it could help the other friend not to feel any sense of “betrayal.”

Then you can both offer to help her find a guy to date in a week (for fun) to try for the new year, or assure her to always be by her side, until she finds a nice guy for herself.

So despite my messy brainstorming:

I think you and the girl you like, should establish the “being an item/ partnership,” and both break the news gently to the third friend, and soon after, all go hang out to a movie and a treating, or so.

If things go well, the only real issue will be making enough time for the trio

And priority or enough time for the couple/duo.

Best to you!

[Asker]

Thanks! I do really like her and it seems like they did wanna know which was the apple of my eye.

[Rosexøxø]

Np I hope it all goes well 🤞😁

[Asker]

It all went well! The one I liked agreed to go out with me and we told her friend about it and she accepted it. The friend said she and her were like sisters so she's happy for her, she also warned me not to break her sister's heart or else. Then we all hung out.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Ouch. I feel bad for the one that doesn't like you, as I've been in that boat before-

Honestly? Tell the one you DON'T want to date, how you feel. Not via text, but over the phone or in person (preferably the latter if that's an option). Just tell her that you care for her as a friend, but you're not attracted to her romantically. You can tell her you like her friend- actually I'd recommend it come from you and not from the friend.

I will warn you that the one you're not attracted to is probably going to be bitter, upset, and might possibly end the friendship. That's not your fault, but I just want to give you a friendly heads-up; be expecting it as a possibility from the effect of being rejected. Also, yeah, there probably will be some strife between the two friends... and it's going to suck. Again, the downside of this happening. Hopefully, they will understand the situation and eventually get over it, but it will take time and patience. That's why you need to be upfront with BOTH of them as soon as possible.

[Asker]

Thanks. The more I think about it, while I wouldn't be glad about their friendship possibly ending, I don't feel it would be enough to keep me from her.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Yeah, definitely go for it! Especially if the one you like feels the same about you. I'm just warning you of the repercussions and possible effects of it. I'm going to be real with you: if me and my friend both liked the same guy and he picked her, of course I'm going to be petty, jealous, and upset at her... him too, but mostly the friend. Ultimately, what happens to the friendship will depending on how good of friends they are.

Unfortunately, someone is going to wind up hurt from this situation, but that's life. I just hope things work out for everyone.

[Asker]

They've known each other since at least middle school I know.

[Asker]

Like sisters.

[Asker]

I told the one I don't want to date what you said and she said she could accept it as long as I treat her best friend right, she wants her to be happy.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Wow, a happy ending! Grats dude; so glad things look like they're going to work out!

Spoiler: the one you rejected probably already told her friend what happened because... well they're friends. So she probably knows you like her and want to ask her out. Go ahead and start the new year off by asking her out on a nice date!

[Biancam13]

This is the correct answer.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice, I asked her out and she said yes. She told me she still would've said yes even if her friend didn't like it.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Dude... you bang who you want to bang. If you want access to both you could try to work something out or you could bang one on the DL and keep the other one. I'd suggest you just go with the one you actually like the most.

I mean seriously if you don't like one of them back then the choice isn't really a option. But if you're looking at it like you'll have to choose... you obviously want to at least bang them both. Hard choices for hard dudes. This is one of those situations where I'd advice you to just think with the big head instead of the little head... but if you want to really slip the one you don't even like back on the side... you could be fucking up a good thing just for more poonity.

[Luopio27]

Be honist. Go for the one you like and let the one you dont, know that your feelings are not for her in the dating world.


Chances are that she will never want to see you again and never want to see her again. Thats how it most likely will end.


Is friendship between the 3 of you more important than a relationship with tje 2 of you?

[Asker]

Nope.

[Luopio27]

Then mske your move.

[coachTanthony]

That is their issue not yours. You try and start saving friendships you will definitely maybe miss out on a good thing.

[Summeroflove]

Ask the one you like out and even if she rejected you have another to fall back on

[Anonymous]

I’ve actually been in that position except with two guys who were so close they’d jokingly call each other brothers. I liked one very much, but ultimately I turned them both down. I did wonder about the potential afterwards and felt like it was a mistake, but I didn’t want to come between them. If you decide to go for it, you would not be wrong for it, however you may feel a lot of guilt for what that could cause and find it better to just avoid that altogether, how I did. This was back in 2020 and I’ve since been in a relationship for the past year with an amazing person. You could have the same outcome.

[Asker]

I understand what you're saying, I feel if I turn her down, I might not have another chance for a relationship. I'm a rather shy person.

[Opinion Owner]

Hey don’t let shyness detour you or doom you to singleness, I’m sure if you like someone enough you’d find the courage to ask them out, just like you’d have the courage to ask out this woman should you decide to still pursue. Like another comment said, their relationship isn’t your problem, but that mentality does nothing for your own peace of mind or feelings of guilt. If that wouldn’t be an obstacle for you though then by all means go for it, have a talk with the girl and see where her head is at.

[Asker]

I meant she's done most of the flirting, if she hadn't I'd probably not have the guts to even consider asking her out. It's easier to do it when you know they actually like you.

[Opinion Owner]

I definitely agree that it’s easier when you know the person is interested. Well I guess ultimately the ball is in your court with the situation. I do worry that it could be messy, because it sounds like you may be cool with them both as well, and let’s say you chose to pursue the one you’re more interested in, what if they chose their friendship over you, and you’re the one cut out? If I were in the shoes of the one you like, and I knew my friend liked you but I’d known her for so long, I would choose my friend because men come and go, and I wouldn’t want to hurt someone I love. I’m not saying that would be her response, but it’s another aspect to consider in your decision making.

[Asker]

Risk I'm willing to take.

[Opinion Owner]

I do hope it’s worth it! Good luck🙏

[Asker]

Thanks! Would you end the friendship if a guy chose your friend over you?

[Opinion Owner]

No worries! And no; I wouldn’t end a friendship If a guy liked my friend instead of me. However my friend would likely talk to me first about it and likely choose me over the guy because of our long friendship.

[Asker]

I talked to her about it and she agreed to go out, said not to worry about her friend, she'd have either have to come to terms with us going out or they wouldn't be friends anymore.

[LiamJHayden]

I personally would not date either. The rejected friend might end up ending the friendship, which could cause tension in the new relationship. Or if/when the break up comes, there might be two women hating. There are so many women out there, I would just avoid the potential drama.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice but the more I think about it, I'm willing to take those risks.

[Purpul]

[Take them both. After sex a couple of times you then have to be honest with both of them. Depending the type of man you are, monogamous-type, or open-relationship-type, you let one go, or keep both of them and set terms. Lead the interaction, and the way.]

[QuietVerbena]

Ask out the one you like. If her friend asks you out, politely tell her you’re not interested and you just wanna be friends.

[KathrynTaylor]

Tell the one you like that you like her and ask her out.

[spartan55]

Sounds like their problem, not yours. Ask out the one you like and don't think twice.

[Valso]

Consider yourself lucky and ask them both out, just separately, in secret of each other. That way if it doesn't work with one of them, you'll have the other.

[AdithyaR]

You're within your rights to ask out the one you like. What happens in their friendship is not on you, that's their decision to make.

[Anonymous]

Probably happens often but why make them both hurt and not pursue either, the other will have to understand and deal with it in a mature way when you choose one over the other

[jimmy2]

Well that are you player be careful you will lose both

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Have a threesome?

[Anonymous]

Avoid them both.

no vagina is worth that drama

[tonamimargaux]

Hahaha this is a recap of my own history lol

[suckmytitties]

Date the one you like

[rienna888]

Date the one you like

[Sasha0426]

Ask out the one you like.

[Anonymous]

Go on dates with both girls, and then decide.

[Darkholler]

Pull a constant double

[Anonymous]

set her up with me :P

[FatDikEng]

3 some

[ZenJen444]

Ask her out