Nowadays guys have a harder time trusting in girls’ and vice versa , thanks to lovely social media for brainwashing people’s heads making people assume everyone is a cheater , People assume the worst case scenario when someone is completely into them , thinking that person must be up
To no good that they are showing a lot of interest because they are hiding something , which is a stupid way of thinking , Most guys today are scared to commit because of all
The horror stories they see or read about on how girls’ are selfish and only really care about themselves , How girls can’t stay faithful and that they always have a back up plan or a secret lover , Guys are territorial when it comes to falling for a girl that he gives his heart to , he doesn’t want her talking to other guys because he knows what other guys are thinking , so trust these days is harder to come by because of all the horror stories we see or hear about. The only way a relationship will survive these days is if both partners make each other their number 1 priority , removing selfishness for each other , wearing each others shoes before making decisions, valuing each other and resisting temptations for each other , when a couple can do that for each other that’s where trust and respect comes into play , understanding you can’t always be right and they are wrong , setting boundaries that you both need to follow , without that you both will have nothing. Yes guys love sex but we love sex with a girl that is loyal and faithful to us, that respects us and prioritizes us over anyone else , if she can do that for him he will more than likely do that for her , sadly it’s always a 50/50 chance we take when we meet someone new that we are drawn to , we can’t read each other’s minds so people always assume the worst case scenario and then start having doubts of that partner is being faithful to them or not , if that partner will resist temptation for them if they are getting hit on by someone else , so the only way to feel that security and trust in a relationship is to make each other your top priority , value each other and make it clear to others that your heart belongs to your partners , remove selfishness for your partner , when your partner realizes you are doing that for them they will do the same in return , if not you will never experience true love
More interest IS a good thing... AS LONG AS the feelings are reciprocated.
If they aren't, then more interest won't get you anywhere.
But I can tell you with 100% certainty, that is isn't BECAUSE you're showing interest that's causing your problem. That is for sure the wrong "takeaway" for you.
This guy becoming less interested may indeed have coincided with your interest growing. In that case, your observation makes perfect sense.
But you're missing the cause. The cause was something else (most likely, him just not "feeling the spark" , but it could've been anything).
It definitely WAS NOT caused by you showing interest. You just happened to get more interested as he happened to become less interested.
In such a case, I can understand why you might draw the conclusion you've drawn. But it's still TOTALLY incorrect. It is not what's happening.
It would be exactly as nonsensical for someone to do this... as you think. It seems to not make sense, because it doesn't make sense. Which is why nobody would ever behave the way you've interpreted this.
Men like the chase and a little bit of a slow burner. So, if a woman is trying too hard to show interest it can put them off as it often looks clingy and desperate.
On the other hand, he might not have been interested. Not to the same level you were.
Next time, choose wisely. Make sure they are interested in you. Always asking you stuff about yourself, remembering what you said etc. be more mysterious. Don’t tell them everything right alway. Let them instigate things for a change. Let them plan the next date. If they do this without your input you can assume they are interested. If they don’t, move on to be next.
You should have paused and said something to the effect that ‘you really liked him, am I coming on too strong?’
You are already aware you were acting that way. But by saying this it shows him you are acknowledging it and giving him a bit of his power back by asking.
Communication helps.
Opinion
32Opinion
Depends. If you’re only showing sexual interest. Maybe he wants something more.
Maybe he just wasn’t into you. That happens sometimes if someone’s being friendly and it gets too flirty. They back away.
It’s good to show interest. As long as you’re not being annoying. If someone backs off it’s possible he’s nervous. But more times then not. He was just being nice and not really into you.
It really depends on how hard and fast you laid it on. I mean sometimes, when I met women that seem to want to move too fast or seem to fall too hard it is a turn off. Because in my experience the harder you fall too fast, the faster it burns out.
I have meant women that seem so gaga over me, then I have to tell her to slow down and give it a little time. Then within weeks she is dating another guy, and I am glad I put the brakes on it.
Also, some guys get started with a woman, not really knowing how serious they want it to be. They just want to date and see how things work out, but if she starts falling in love right away... they start to think they better end it before she gets her feelings seriously hurt. I mean if they are looking for casual sex, and you are all in love it's a turn off. They start to feel guilty, like they are taking advantage of you, and they start wanting to do the right thing and break if off, before hurting you.
u What YOU consider to be a reasonable amount of interest may be excessive to the dude, or it might just be too much too soon.
I think the general rule applies to both sexes, don't show too much interest too early. Girls don't like quickly clingy guys, in the same way that guys don't like quickly clingy girls. We want to pursue a woman and eventually get her (or not).
In our minds, our evaluation of a girl is based on several things, but her value is judged by how difficult she is to get. If you're promiscuous you're categorically not difficult to get (even if you make him "wait"). The back and forth game that brings desire to a new level needs to be played out, and you can't "show your hand too early." Mystery stokes lust and interest in both sexes.
You also made a double error by chasing the person after they pulled away. People pull away for any number of reasons, or sometimes no reason at all. When/ if this happens the only way is to let them go- holding on/ chasing makes you look desperate (which in turn makes you seem easy for him, which is not something he'll value enough to pursue). This isn't a guarantee they'll change their mind and chase you, but it's the only possibility that they'll do so. REMEMBER: It's a GAME!
You've both reached an age where the hormones are kicking in.. that starts a process of coming together. The hormones contribute to the emotions and actions. But where is the emotional maturity of each to handle that?
Nerves kick in and cause fight/flight response when it's more than they are comfortable with. Those nerves are rooted in the emotions from childhood. Some guys aren't comfortable, they may not feel ok with their own feelings or with being approached, or if the woman is too fast/strong. In essence, fear, shame, etc.. kick in.
So slowing down, taking pressure off and just enjoying time can help. His maturing and growing in confidence solves it.
I like to think of things like this with analogies... mine is "fishing". You don't just go out and yank fish out of the lake... there's a process involved. So learn to play the game and especially... to pay attention, observe the other, listen, and communicate!
1) Could have not been into you/is not single.
2) Running away spares him from any drama or conflict
3) Didn't know how you'd take the rejection so he ran away? ---- once I was approached by a girl in the club to dance and I said no thank you I'm just here for the music. When I turned around, she grabbed and pulled my balls with force... Fuck that hurt - I haven't been clubbing since lmao
im actually the opposite. i love girls who are super clingy. there's many reasons why he acted that way. He either has a girlfriend or your not attractive to him. Also he might be afraid to grab feelings for you then turns out you rejected him. It happens to a lot of guys. where girls show interest but then back off because they are afraid of getting hurt.
They don't, if they're really interested in her. But if they are still figuring out how they feel about her and then she comes on strong inappropriately soon, that will often drive them away.
Suggestion: On a second date don't show him pictures of your faces morphed together and speculate how your children would look.
No this is never a turn off. If the woman likes me and tries really hard , i would really appreciate that. I would also give my 100% considering i like her too. If i don't like her, i would never had made a move or shown my interest in her
It probably means the guy has interest from more than one girl at the moment and doesn't want to get too deep with one OR he's focused on himself and maybe school/work and doesn't want a girlfriend. 3rd less likely option is he's gay or soy boy type.
If i had a normal healthy mind, I would find that very very attractive. I love when women take the first step.
However past experiences, depression and anxiety have basically convinced my mind that nobody would genuinely like me, so if I was in the guys place I'd think i was being tricked or manipulated and that's why I'd back off.
I'm not saying that's what happened to him but it's one possible reason out of the many possibilities.
Men are hunters. It excites them to solve that mystery. But, you showing him interest may not be the cause of him going away. I think he's just not as interested as you to be in a relationship. The feeling isn't mutual.
Most guys don't even get a reply back, let alone a woman taking to them for some time. Most men aren't going to lose interests,, they're going to love it because most dudes have no actual experiences with woman. So if it's sincere (which is very unlikely) then a guy won't have a problem with it
Nope. You showed creeper and clingy red flags, is all. He thought "this bitch will kill me and my pets if I break up with her! Best not get involved"
Don't know for sure. Maybe you come on too strong and don't realize it or they are just playing games.
Ma'am if a man don't like you then of course he would reject you if you show interest or wouldn't show any interest in him.
Do you mind me asking more personal information than you’d be willing to share in open chat on here? I have a feeling it might be something I’m thinking about but I’d have to ask you
My best guess is that he has other options and he is currently weighing the best one for him. He might not be turned off to the point of giving up but if he is distant at that point that might be why.
You're wrong. More interest is good. But once a man's not interested he's not interested. If you show less interest then he will be more likely to not want to be with you anyways. Just bad luck so far.
More interest is a good thing but some people don’t think they deserve a good thing and self sabotage
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