Long story short, I'm behind getting into the dating scene. Severe depression played a big part in making middle school and high school (save once) impossible to try to date and my attempts in college always ended with rejection right off the bat. I've spent about a decade improving my mental, financial, spiritual and physical health and am now at the point where I feel that if I don't start dating, I never will. I have always wanted to one day be married and have children and I'm at the age now where that is not gonna be very likely if I don't start dating. It feels awkward and just plain weird to just walk up to a woman and tell her I'd like to go on a date. Is that the normal approach?
There's a woman in my Sunday school class at church that I find really, really interesting. She's a very beautiful woman (in the past I'd have said she was way out of my league) but with her I am actually even more attracted to her personality and character. I don't know a whole lot about her other than she works in a coffee shop and I'm not certain, but I have this feeling we went to high school together (although I'm certain we never in the any of the same classes). What is the best way to ask her for a first date when I don't usually get to talk to her much at church?
What Girls Said
I was talking to my friend with my boyfriend about this and my boyfriend was saying that we were giving really bad advice, like possibly the worst advice possible lol. So according to him you have to ask a guy who is doing what you want to do so like if you want to be a player lol you have to talk to a player and if you want to be in a relationship you have to ask a guy who is in one. And apparently be yourself and be honest and don’t be a dick is the opposite of what you should do I don't know
I mean I get what he’s saying but that plays into my issues too. I have had mostly negative experiences with other guys. I tend to display what are more feminine qualities to a stronger degree than most men and in our society it basically makes my ability to get valid advice from men difficult. I am heterosexual but had stronger feminine influences in childhood so I often get accused of being homosexual and if that doesn’t elicit hostility from other guys it typically means advice I get assumes I’m gay.
It makes it really hard to get good info and be able to act on it because I’m kinda paradoxical. I’m a man with testosterone and masculine inclinations but my emotional state and mind trend feminine.