I’m a hopeless romantic and a serial blocker. Is it me or the guys and what’s wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

Like I said in the title I’m a hopeless romantic but also a serial blocker. No daddy issues, lots of love growing up, and all healthy non romantic relationships. I can’t tell if I’m the problem or it’s the guys and what’s wrong with me. I’ve never even successfully gotten a boyfriend before.

Usually I end up most heavily invested in mentally ill men who devote all their time and everything to me at almost an obsessive level, I’ll be super into it until I freak out and block them. They guys could be drug users, suicidal people, plain down disregard themselves for you type men, which I think I’m justified on. A lot of the time they form very deep attachments to me quickly which I understand is kinda messed up to just disappear.

the other ones are very healthy guys who are interested but I just don’t click with them at all, I don’t find them interesting, fun, or funny. No matter how long I talk to them I won’t find myself attracted to them but I’ll keep engaging despite knowing I’m not going to ever pursue them, that’s on me. Sometimes I end up blocking or ghosting them.

Then I have the guys that I’m super into who are healthy who I’m attracted to completely but I barley know, have never spoken to, and do not want me or know me. There comes in the hopeless romantic part, I’m day dreaming about marrying some random guy I don’t know in seconds.

[Guy13]

It sounds like you will figure it out eventually. It’s too complicated for anyone here…see a counselor

[In_Trance]

I see a red flag already

"all healthy non romantic relationships"

That's a huge red flag.
All the guys are the problem? Or all the guys recognize the problem?

I see it goes downhill from there.
All childhood traumas surface in relationships.

[Asker]

Not sure what you mean honestly. I have tons of people I’ve been best friends with since childhood who know me inside out and I’m a good friend to them. I do well friendships and family wise just not dating. As I said before I have no childhood traumas, grew up loved with lots of support.

[Asker]

And as I said many of these guys are incredibly depressed, drug users, traumatized people who won’t get help, not long term relationship-able people. I’ve never been left by a man, I’ve always been the one to walk.

[In_Trance]

The fact that you are attracted to that type screams unresolved issues. they guys never leave because they're even more damaged than you are.
Secondly, the fact that you've never had a romantic relationship also screams intimacy issues.
You need help

[Asker]

Gone to therapy, my therapist never saw an issue.

[In_Trance]

You're with the wrong therapist then

[Asker]

Can’t afford a therapist anymore so unless you can refer me to free help, don’t know what to do at this point.

[In_Trance]

Everybody has to pay to play.

If someone is offering it for free, it's a scam.
People study for years to understand how to fix issues like this. To have an expectation of "no charge" is insulting

[Asker]

Can’t expect a broke scholarship college student to have the money to pay a therapist.

[In_Trance]

Probably be the best investment you ever make.
Can't afford not to

[ginsbergjen710]

You have an avoidant attachment style whereas the men you attract (very common for someone with your attachment style) have an anxious attachment style

[FilmGuy93]

You're definitely the problem here. You have extremely unhealthy attachment styles, you don't process emotions in a productive way, and you're not an emotionally mature enough person to handle romantic entanglements yet.

[MementoMori777]

Blocking and ghosting is just rude, just say the truth, the easiest way to do something is usually the wrong way to do it

[Dav1dTh0ma3]

You're likely one to fall TOO FAST. It's ok to do that butttt you might want to say to yourself "why am I falling too fast for people I barely know"

[CuriousMufuxka]

Your pussy power has turned self destructive! Make up your goddamn mind woman!