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Timid-guy wants to hear from Girls only. Login to share your opinion.
In what sense?
I’d say I take charge in some ways and I let him take the lead in some ways. I wouldn’t be happy if he was always passive and I had to do everything, no. That feels lazy and will have me questioning if he’s really interested. My boyfriend and I met online and he was taking charge at first, when it came to asking me for the date and making the date plans. I liked that, and I had just cut things off with a guy before that, who was like waiting for me to plan things for the first date up to the night before. Not into it. I know I’m a naturally dominant and assertive person, so I was looking for a take charge quality in his first approach so I knew that I wouldn’t have to plan and lead every thing, which I did not want. His energy was very assertive at the beginning, and I like that. Now it’s both of us - sometimes I’ll plan things and sometimes he will. I’m more of the social one, but he has planned dates for us, knowing I’d want to go out somewhere. That meant a lot to me.
I initiate sex sometimes, sometimes he does. We really take turns in most things except money - he pays for most dates and all our food. I’d say my personally seems more dominant to me than his when it comes to conversation, because he’s more laid back and quiet. But he will share things with me and challenge my perspective and if I challenge his views and he doesn’t agree with me, he won’t just pretend to agree to let me win - he’s honest, direct, and actually quite bold at times, he’s just laid back, very introverted (I’m an extrovert) and quieter (I’m loud and talkative). I wouldn’t describe my boyfriend as shy at all though and he has his dominant moments.
I always say that people assume all naturally dominant women are domineering in relationships and that’s not true. My boyfriend says I’m both one of the most dominant women he’s dated and also the most considerate of his feelings, accepting, and validating. Some women who are socially less dominant are more domineering than women who are naturally dominant people, believe it or not. My mom isn’t dominant socially - she’s an introvert, not social, kind of loner, quiet, keeps to herself, not the first to speak up, not a natural social leader, but in her relationships / with me she’s domineering af and kind of toxic in some ways. I’m the opposite in both respects. Well, I can be a loner too sometimes (only child) but socially I tend to end up being a leader, very talkative, very assertive, and I do have some social anxiety but you’d have to be my close friend to know it and no one ever thinks I’m shy. I’ve learned throughout adulthood how easily it is for me to dominate so I actually go out of my way to make space for people and I really care about my partner feeling all those things he feels about me. Im not perfect and I am intense too, but when he tells me those things, it lights up my day.
And actually, my mom did ask my dad out first. So there you go!
On our first date, I wanted to watch the concert on his shoulder. He was trembling under my ass and holding my beer for me while I danced on his shoulder. From the very beginning of the relationship, I showed him who's boss :D
I asked my now husband out on our first date. The situation did kind of dictate that I be the one to ask. Now that we are married and can look back and talk about the whole beginning, he will admit that as much as he wanted to ask me, he felt it not appropriate because was at work and in a professional setting.
Good thing I didn’t wait. I work as an office admin at a healthcare practice. He had come in for a sports injury. I did not ask him the initial visit because I knew he was in pain and would have to come back.
So, I waited…and waited. He came back for evaluation and physio instructions. That is when I made my move. On discharge, I struck up a conversation and flirted a bit how only I know how to do. When I saw there was some smiles and posting body language, I asked if he wanted to have lunch sometime. The rest is history and we are now married.
There is a lesson to be learned. Don’t hesitate or wait. If you want something, go and get it.
I an naturally active and take charge. But i currently am in love with a passive guy and i know he wants to take charge so he needs a passive girl. And now i dont even know what to do. Tho it is easy for an active girl to be passive, she just has to chill 🤪
Thankyou! We are not together tho😊
Well I've never had a boyfriend but i started flirting first with my last crush then i asked him if he wanted to do something, so i like to think i could try and take charge, so he knows where the boundaries are and when no means no, but i could be quite the filth when i want to be.
It hurts so much i might never get this chance 💔💔💔
But id also like him to comfort me and lead sometimes.
can't speak to him at all Now. But i might just drop a message anyway with 💔💔💔
When I found someone I liked it came together naturally.
Every time. I would still be single if I hadn’t.
Uh, thanks. 😎
Tbh I'm both. If ik a guy is shy, I take charge. But if the guy I like is more dominant, I'll let him take charge
Yeah, maybe also tell her upfront your shy
Perfect
like I said, low self esteem is not attractive. forget these girls who are here encouraging your current state. they are being hypocritical. me, I'm telling you the reality of life. abandoned your current state. kiss it goodbye. confidence comes from your belief. change your mindset about being shy. tell yourself you're confident, change your name to captain or boss. Did you know that on my first date with my boyfriend, he said he likes special names in a relationship and asked what I would like to call him. so I said I will usee his initials. he said he liked that but he would prefer Daddy. I laughed but with time I've gotten used to calling him that. change your nicknames oñ social media like this one u have here to something strong. start from there. you're 31. this is a great time to start.
Read Pen Glowy's books. you don't have to be like the heroes in Dark love or dark love 2 or even Donovan, but the characters give you an idea of what attracts women. (You can tell by how many women are reading those books. the number is huge.)
also ensure you dress well and powerfully. it automatically changes your mindset. you appear as the kind of man you should be. Why do you think people love fifty shades of grey? lolz.
Depend if he's dominant or passive if he's dominant I let him take charge if not I do it myself
If he respond to me fast in text message but nearly never message first or cannot make a conversation long lasting by himself (I'm the one that need to find the subject) then to me it mean he's passive (like maybe more in a shy / introvert ways) if he respond to me fast all the time but never send message first or know how to keep a conversation going then it doesn't necessarily mean he's passive but more that he's too shy to propose conversation theme / idea / date etc...
so if I like him / feel a connection to him / feel like I can trust him then I "take charge" I don't feel dominant by doing this just more extrovert and confident.
I used to be extremely shy never said a word so I guess it's why I'm so flexible by nature I'm passive but I learnt to be more "active" cause lots of people went to me to talk to me and tried to make me more comfortable. Most people become active if they feel comfortable.
True so long as you can do it it's always better to go forward
I wouldn't say take charge, I don't care who does what first I just make sure to get what I want.
I prefer for him to ask me out, do the first step. That's just how it is. After that I do act and lead if needed or when I want to.
But the first step is for guys.
Yeah that's true. I'm not saying it's wrong for a woman to make the first step though.
also it's natural for a man. I don't like guys who are not decisive or sure of themselves. many women don't. I had a friend who liked that her boyfriend was passive. now she is tired of the relationship and has abandoned the guy. so I believe everyone should embrace their nature. a man should just be a man.
I usually take charge with a shovel to the head lol
Sometimes I take the lead, sometimes I follow
If he needs me to take charge.. he got the wrong girl
I like the guy being more dominant I'm an old fashioned type of girl.
Not everyone has to be like me, that's just how I am. If you don't like it I don't care
Some men want the bad ass Red Sonja type, there's nothing wrong with that, we all have people who match us (:
That is very true (:
He is supposed to chase me, I'll take charge in the bedroom haha
I take charge.
Thank you 😘😊
Man definitely has to take charge 100%
More passive when I was single
No third option? 😅
The combination or flexible ones?😂
YES! After all it's just natural, when people really turned on things re just flow... then when u guys feel comfortable to each other that's when u can have options 😊
Oh and for ur case (maybe i saw it wrong lol) most girls, especially, don't actually say what they think 😂, they yes but actually not and the other way around, so again just try ur luck, u never know til u try, and if u get rejection or whatever just take it as normal because knowing that people have their own preferences and that's also normal
I prefer him to lead
and tips when ur hunting, "cool guys still exist and I'm one of them." "I know what I want and it's you." "I won't take no for an answer." " think about it. " " Just a tiny yes will do. " Make her feel wanted. " I'm not a billionaire, but I'll care for you." " I'm very attracted to you. " " I have fallen in love with you. " " Trust me, you will come to fall in love with me. " " my feelings for you are sincere. " " Give me a chance. " well those are the words I remember him telling me. another thing is he told me he didn't come for sex. that was a plus because I'm a virgin. I still am. he touches me sometime, craves for me and teaches me about sex but is willing to wait til marriage. it's a big plus. on his side. Then after I said yes, he established some rules not authoritatively but quite firmly. he said he's a jealous lover so I should be careful. he doesn't share. he also said that he's willing to wait but I should not make him wait and then end up giving it to someone else in the name of cheating. he is ready to be my first. when he first knew I was a virgin, he was shocked because I mean I was 33. lolz but soon he started liking that fact.
anyway, I like that he is in charge. not like he's a bully but he is assertive and takes responsibility. Girls like guys like that, trust me. like when we go out and I want to go ease myself or something he will always be like "Be careful in there." I feel like he babies me but it's cool and My friends say they are jealous. many girls like a man who is in charge. I'm just giving you tips.
ur welcome. and being in charge is not hard. I noticed when we started going out , when we enter a restaurant, if I'm going to a random table he will just take my hand and keep me close to his side. then he will pick a table. little stuff like that is just so sweet and makes me relax cause even when he chooses the spot, he will ask if I like it. he also doesn't sit opposite me at a table. he prefers we sit side by side. he says "so we don't look like office people but lovers." oh my God. I love him a lot and he earned it.
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