Guys: Do you think women like to take the lead in a relationship or do you think women prefer you take the lead?

[Iwant2kno]

I have come across different scenarios where women argue they likes balance but generally in an argument, both parties want to take the lead. So guys, what do you assume women expect from you, to take the lead or not?

[kbbroiler]

Okay this is what I have experienced. Women expect a man to take the lead. HOWEVER, they still want free reign to do whatever that serves them best. To women they have a cognitive dissonance view on this meaning having two conflicting opinions which are hypocritical to each other and think this is ok and normal. So is this ok guys? For me nope so this is how I deal with it. I have rules for myself and expectations. If women/woman do not fulfil these they never get up to girlfriend. They may be a friends with benefits but that is it. Having in the lead in the relationship means he has the lead. If he is a guy who doesn’t date women who go out to night clubs then that is the type of guy he is and he has set the record right from the beginning. If she doesn’t go along with this, it is easy bye! Too many men out there have a scarcity mindset for women and not an a abundance mindset for women. Look women treat men as disposable and you want to see proof of that every guy has experienced a girl who dumped the guy and she was with the new guy next week and probably was with the guy before. Men have got to learn not to be attached to women period. They are hypergamous by nature and always questioning is this the best that i could do? The ones that stay around are the ones that know they have the best deal. It is not because they love the guy first. they may love the guy but they know they can’t do any better so men have to learn that flip the script on women how they do it on us.

[MannMitAntworten]

I think nearly all women like to “allow” men to ‘believe’ they take the lead. Which is why men always say, “let me ask the boss” whilst women just do whatever without ever consulting their husbands and certainly never their boyfriends. Apparently it is all about perception. I never said anything to my ex about this but the little shit was very much this sort of woman to the point of being subtly controlling in her actions and I just reasoned it away in my own head as her being, “caring”. Which I think in a lot of ways women feel they are being just that as well, caring, without ever realizing what they really are being is “controlling”. I also think this is that ‘thing’ that women do that largely wrangles men in and compels us into being responsible adults... so to speak. Which somehow translates into us being soccer coaches to our kids and nutty shit like that. Frankly I think men present their balls at the alter and women place them in a mason jar and only allow their husbands occasional visitational rights to their balls after the exchanges “yes” and “vows” moving forward. That is definitely the case with my own parents. I do not recall my grand parents being this way or anyone their generation. It just seems to have began with the Baby Boomers onward. Maybe it is partly why divorce rates are also so damn high beginning with the Baby Boomers too? Just a thought...

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I don't know about women in general, I can only speak for myself.

I've spent much of my life being independent and being a leader. I've also so far been more wordly/mindful than my partners - so I've been the "leader" in most of cases.

I don't mind my partner taking the lead, and I let him at some points where he knows more than I do, but overall I tend to take the lead a bit more. I'm more sure of myself than he is of himself - but I hope he catches up and surpasses me eventually. It'd be nice to confidently follow him more than I do now.

Not because he's "my man", but because he's my human - and I'll be very proud of his progress and will want to support him in his new-found confidence.

[ragequeen]

It should be divided. Men can take the lead for some things, and women for other things. A good example is when women want to cook and take care of the kids and their education, while the men organize finances and provide financially. That's divided leadership. If one person "takes the lead" it's never healthy. My brother is a simp and in a pretty toxic relationship. He lets her take control of planning, what they eat, contacting people etc. She is the definite leader in the relationship, and she isn't even good at it.

[MzAsh]

There are definitely some areas where I want to take the lead and my man wants me to take the lead as well. But there are areas where he takes the lead too. For example, I hate driving in the city and he has a lot more driving experience than me so he just accepts that he’s the driver most of the time if we’re together.

[Cincinati]

In my opnion,🤔

the one who is more responsible and mature intellectually/emotionally/psychologically, and the one who has good control over owns emotions in every situation iss definitely going to make better decisions!

If a person is able to be calm in every challenging situation widout getting hyped by anger, jelousy, hatered, possessiveness, peer pressure then definitely he would be an very calm person and any one making descisions in a completely stable conditions has high possibilities tht descisions taken are correct, in contrary, descisions taken in an extreme emotional state (hatered, jelousy) are definitely not gonna work.

Finally, in order to decide the leading person in relationship one shud decide on basis of qualities a person, rather than who would 'like' to lead!
✌️

[JackSmy]

In my experience, when she thinks she has you, wrapped around her little finger, she ASSUMES control, and most men let her, and they are afraid she might withhold sex, if he doesn't do what she expects!
I don't play that game, and if she thinks she is going to play me for a fool, BYE, BYE!!
I am who I am, and I want a Woman that is an EQUAL, but not thinking she is going to control me!

[Iwant2kno]

👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[JackSmy]

@Iwant2kno Mutual love, and respect, I think. Maybe some little things, like opening doors, and taking her hand, on stairs, when she is wearing heals. Not because she needs it, but because it is a loving, caring thing, to make her smile, and feel adored. . .

[EclecticEmapath1111]

I like for my man to lead as long as he knows what he is doing. If he doesn't, then I will have to take on the dominant and masculine role (which I don't like because it feels unnatural for me) somebody has to do this though I don't believe that men and women are the same and both sexes lead in a relationship in different ways but one of them has to do it or everything will fall apart or they won't stay together.

[DominusFreud]

Is this about? only having women rolmodels on schools, thereby killing the masculinity of the fure... and in many relationships right now?

Or is this about someone getting your attention. Or able to stop her. Just be using his eye's at a women, pushing her to her knees, commanding to open her mouth for his dick. While he holds her head back by the length of her hairs, so she can't reach it.

only by eye contact...

spreading her legs and opening the connection with only 1 finger, unable to stopping begging for more.

[Anonymous]

Little girls are bossy. Big girls are too. Since they control access to vagina most guys will let her be bossy on most things because most things are little. When it comes to the big things-things thjat really mean something-like finances, large purchases, career decisions, etc- is when men will assert themselves. Not to say his word would be law in those situations-they might be balanced-but most guys just find it easier to let her be bossy on the little things which most guys ignore anyway. Happy wife-happy life (also expressed as "If Mama ain't happy, no one is happy!")

[Knighted2170]

I think it a bit of give and take. If he isn't really the romantic type she may not mind taking the lead. But, she may become annoyed at always taking the romantic lead. If she's not a real planner and he is she may not mind him making the plans. Again, he may become annoyed at always the plans. Or, not understanding why she may all of a sudden want to make a plan.

Communication is key to figuring this out.

[APEXGuerrilla]

Well... This is a fun question. 😄
I've noticed, that most people of either/both sexes will say publicly and privately that they prefer the male counterpart to take the lead in most matters in a relationship.

However, when it comes to matters of sex, many if not smost of the hottest most attractive women I've dated prefer to take the lead in bed (since they are always the ones being chased, they are always treated as the sex object and so for them, its too much of the same old boring stifling repressive and lacklustre approach that does not as much for them as opposed to say, in relationship being allowed to dominate and act out their hidden deep kinks and desires- because behind all that poise and "perfect looks" they are just human too, and sometimes want to be the one receiving the sexual gratification, which, in the end, was surely sexually gratifying for all parties involved.)

I personally prefer to take control, though.

[Natehunter199]

Fuck if i know anymore. But what i use to think that there should be a balance between the both. It takes two to make a relationship work. But the guys should all be the backbone. But like i said, i dont have a god damn clue anymore now days. Your told they want one thing but then their actions tell you differently

[Funsize720]

I prefer the man to take the lead. Nothing turns me on more and eases me at the same time knowing my man takes control and provides for our household.

[Funsize720]

I think some people are confused... There is a difference between controlling someone and being the one to control a situation.
I'm an independent person. I make my own decisions regularly. I work a full-time job 40-70 hrs a week. I have my hobbies, friends, and personal bills.

I would expect nothing less from my own man. The ONLY difference is being alpha. Knowing he is logical with his thinking, he is always dependable, he shows me love (not say it), he's a selfless lover, non-reactive (I panic so easy), relentlessly honest.

I don't know... He's the man of the house, and I do my best to make him know it. Men love being the problem-solvers, so I allow him to take that stress from me naturally. I don't have my emotional rollercoaster moments anymore and I notice I can sit down and enjoy my own time now. If he wants the job I let him take that from me. He's trying to help me (again problem solvers) and he doesn't bitch about it like I usually do.

[EssenceOfLight]

Women like to play the leader to take the control, but if the situation is really serious most women are expecting that their partner takes the lead and decides. Of course you have to prove your competency and explain how did you came to specific conclusions as well as to take the responsibility if something goes wrong.

[bellesmith17x]

All of the men saying women don’t like taking the lead is because they want to be in control let’s say. I may only be 17 but I think in a relationship no one is leading or being in control it relies on mutual understanding and agreement. Some people may like being in a one sided relationship where one makes all the rational decisions but many others prefer it to be 50-50. I just think men are to used to being in control so when a women who “challenges” his decisions and what he wants makes them feel inferior

[Kurαȷ]

I hope that they see themselves as grown-ups who have their own brain and determination.
I'm an adult and I decide things for myself and I expect the same from my partner.

People who want to lead or be lead have issues, that's not how adults should work.
Not adults that appeal to me, in any case.

[cth96190]

I prefer that the female takes the lead, because I cannot read women and I have close to zero social/emotional intelligence.
A woman who expects me to 'know', or 'you should have known' is going to be disappointed. I know only as much as I am told.
Such is life with high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome.

[Kaazsz]

I watched a documentary about a matriarchal society in China that exists today.


The women basically run everything and the men don’t have to do much.


But even though it’s a matriarchal society, the men still make the important decisions, and the women want it that way.


I suppose to some degree it’s just natural. If even there, the men make all the important decisions. It’s really interesting.

[billbrasky00]

I don't ever think of it as binary. Power exchange is fluid. As a guy... I always find hot, younger women fun to dominate. However... nothing is hotter than the occasional girl (older, younger, whatever) whose got the sexuality, seduction, and confidence to control a guy in bed a bit.

[TheorionMage]

Its been my PERSONAL experience, that most women I've been intimate with SUCK at giving unambiguous signals, so that they can rationalize to themselves, embarrassed, I DIDN'T want THAT!
I just went along with it out of fear or awkwardness. HATE the hypocritical 'head games'~

[madgoat]

We're generalising but I'd expect many are happy when they feel heard, respected, and can trust that if their partner want leads in one aspect of the relationship, they'll do a reasonable job of it.

[Grond21]

I'm not sure what you mean by taking the lead in an argument. I know if people feel defensive they will want to control the way the discussion goes so it doesn't hurt them anymore.

But aside from arguments, I would say that on average men take the lead more than women. But I'm not sure how significant that is. Only in some relationships is it really obvious

[Iwant2kno]

No James, the argument is just an example of times where both parties want to take the control. I’m referring about a relationship in general. Most women would argue they like to be in control, take major decision within relationship. I’m thinking those relationships fail because men become very simp like. Because I think that’s a bit unnatural given that women, we tend to be submissive when we are comfortable, but women would feel the need to take control when she doesn’t feel trust or comfort. It’s where i was trying to get to... I hope that made sense.

[Grond21]

I see. No I understand much more about where you're coming from. And yes, I've seen the same thing. And then the women start pushing the man because they want him to be more of a rock for them, but the man becomes even more simp like as he tries not to offend. And it becomes a vicious cycle where neither one of them is happy. But the initial trigger is that she is feeling unsafe and doesn't feel like he is stepping up. So she has to become more masculine to handle that situation. But if he sees it as a challenge and he doesn't want to stand up to that challenge either, then the pattern begins.

I think you're right on the money with this one

[Iwant2kno]

Exactly! Thank you!😊 👍🏼 I didn’t think of it as a vicious cycle, but you’re right. I also think that behavior in women tends to happen when they are tired with a situation, routine or simply suggesting their man to step up.

[Grond21]

Yeah, that makes sense to me. She feels like because he won't do it she has to.
This is excluding the women who don't trust their man in the first place and step up before they try the other methods of asking and persuading.

[Anonymous]

Lin my case my boyfriend is taking lead as he decides everything also am a submissive while he have a dominant we have performed bdsm so I feel little embrassed in front of him because when I was tied I make very weird sounds and movements and also I am living in his house and he is financially stable while I am unemployed so in every aspect of my relationship he is in lead

[EclecticEmapath1111]

Sounds good to me. You are very lucky to have a strong masculine leading man. At least you know that he's steering the ship and can protect you. Just be a good pet to him in bed and respect him in your relationship. He should respect you too and not abuse his power to keep a decent balance. Some cuffs and occasional spanking in bed is pretty hot too.. 🤩

[Opinion Owner]

Be a good pet😂😂

[jgokgotit]

It really depends. I believe that she should take the lead in what she is stronger than me in and I should take the lead in whatever I'm stronger than her in (not talking physical lol).

[jgokgotit]

Overall I prefer a 51-55/49-45 split, with her leading just slightly more than me.