I'm asking if women who have strong personalities (Like the whole "strong independent woman" trope) or masculine traits (Being athletic or tomboyish, having masculine jobs or interests, etc) attract more submissive, weak, or effeminate men.
Basically, do "strong" or somewhat masculine women attract weak or feminine men?I hear about stories where career women who are more in their masculine energy, dating feminine energy men who don't take the lead. And a lot of these women--not ALL of them-- end up being frustrated with these guys because they don't take charge. In fact, a recurring theme in relationships nowadays is "masculine energy" women dating "feminine energy" men.Kind of an extreme example, but you get the point.And I'm also asking this because I fit the "beta male" trope to a T. I'm not physically strong, nor do I have a desire to be. I also have no interest in sports except for hunting and Airsoft.
And if anyone has seen a good chunk of my questions, they know I find masculine traits in women like dominance, physical strength, and tomboyishness in general attractive. Female traits in women do practically nothing for me.In fact, I find my friend's sister attractive (Yes, they both know this and don't mind) because she has a few "male traits" that are high up on my list. She's dominant and a natural leader. She's also tall at 5'10 and a half, while I'm only 5'6. She can lift heavier things than me, and she's stronger than me.Finally, she's unbothered by blood and gore, because she's a horror nut. Despite her being feminine, what drew me to her were her masculine traits. She's tall, strong, she's dominant, and can handle blood and gore.
So my situation fits this question pretty well. What do you think? Do "strong" women attract beta males?
Hey man, you and I have discussed this time and again and my response will stay congruent with what I have told you.
There is nothing wrong with your personality and taste. If anything I would say you are more effeminate. Passive and not wanting to lead or tackle challenges ges that life throws at you. Our instinct as men is to penetrate this world and face challenges to grow as men and become resilient in the face of failure with our ambitions and goals and taking risks.
The women you desire attract men across the spectrum, but in this case for your question, the answer is yes, they attract men who are "beta" or passive and pleaser types just like other women. The issue is, these relationships are not ones that tend to last or be fulfilling amd happy. From the perspective as a man looking from the outside, women that I know like that that are involved with or have men that act like this aren't keen or enthusiastic about dating them or being with them on a romantic level because they would practically be acting as his mother and not a lover. It is hard for them to respect men like that.
@Bethanyou pretty much answered it in her follow up to your reply.
You could find a woman that likes you like that, but that would be difficult. My concern for you in this case is that you may be focused on an outcome of fantasy and projection of your expectations that you have built up with this and ot looking at it from a realistic level.
How many women have you dated that are like this? How was the dating experience and the relationship for as long as you were together? Who broke off the relationship ship at the end of the day and what was the reason why?
I am not telling you to change or anything, man. Just giving you my honest unfiltered opinion. Do what you want to do. If anything, I would really suggest you read a book called "How To Be A 3% Man" by Coach Corey Wayne. He has a YouTube channel as well and he goes into this in depth with his book and videos. This question of your will be answered if you read and follow his work.
I'm not asking if it's ok or not, or anything like that, dude. I'm asking if this is a recurring theme, because seems to be, based on what I'm seeing and hearing from other people. And you answered that question in one of your sentences.
"The women you desire attract men across the spectrum, but in this case for your question, the answer is yes, they attract men who are 'beta' or passive and pleaser types just like other women."
Yes, I did technically answer the question there, but you still didn't answer some of the things I asked you.
In this case, yes, women attract both alpha and beta men if we want to use those terms. The question is, from your perspective, what type of men do you SEE them going out with? What are their personalities like? How do they carry themselves? Do they say what they mean and mean what they say by being men of their word and for using on their purpose?
I see these women going out with the men I described half of the time, and the other half, I see them going out with men who are more masculine and dominant.
Some of of these "beta males" I'm describing are emotionally weak, sensitive, and easily offended. Some are just more passive, nurturing, and gentle. The alpha males I'm talking about are more assertive, confident, ambitious, probably physically strong too. Regardless, they do carry themselves as such.
They are men of their word, except for probably the weak, sensitive guys who are likely SJWs. We know how hypocritical woke people are.
the longer answer depends on the profiles of each.
Within Social Engineering to exploit another person, the target, you need to profile the type of person they are and the type of personal traits they have.
a fairly basic one is DISC invented by William Marston.
basically humans are a jigsaw of various slots, some can move some are fixed.
you often get two strong willed people together.
There is no such thing as an Alpha or Beta, it’s bollox, our personalities are far to complex for that.
Very often a direct person will want the same type of person, they harmonically adapt to each other. However other traits also harmonically link up, which is why it’s never an easy thing to work out the best way to exploit a target.
there is much more to it, however I am not doing a lesson on this lol.
Understand yourself to understand others.
or as I prefer Understand yourself, to exploit sales people and get freebies, discounts, jump queues etc.
I feel that balance is key. While your partner may have particular strengths, it doesn't mean that you dont have your own that you bring to the table. Remember: vulnerability, expressing emotions, and positive conflict resolving skills are also male strengths. I don't feel that labeling something as more masculine or fem really helps with anything. I mean my fiancee isn't into sport or those kinds of things even though I am. Yet he still calms me down with his communication skills and brings out the loving side of me without my walls built up because he is vulnerable with me. Total super power in my book!
You know what, I would not even notice a, as call yourself "beta male'" (sounds like BS to me) or as I would refer to as an effeminate man, was interested in me. Since, he would never even catch my eye to begin with.
Perhaps he would have better luck with a woman that liked other women and would find him an acceptable alternative. Hey, I'm the forever optimist and as they say there is someone for everyone.
Also the word strong is a bit subjective, since it could range from physical strength to the will and character of a person.
Ok, since my being subtle is beyond your scope of understanding... If those men were attracted to me or as I'm sure any other "STRONG" woman... It would not matter to me or them, since we would not be thinking about them at all.
Hey, if they wish to crush and fantasize about me... go for it... just realize that in reality I'm just a human being and building me up in your mind... would just disappoint you if it ever became a reality. Nope, I can't float down from the ceiling and levitate you up to have a go at it. *shrug
I happy with the man I am with... we both workout and he has his strengths and I have mine and we respect each other. What more could one possibly ask for?
What do I think about you being attracted to her? Like do I think she would be interested in someone who is subservient to her? That is the thing about us all being different, it makes us interesting... you would have to ask her how she felt about you. Since, I really don't care... at all.
Yes, a woman who acts like a man attracts men who act (or think) like the typical woman. She also creates these types of guys when she raises a boy as a single man (without a good male role model) and she creates/duplicates her own character in her daughter too. It's like a virus that spreads.
A weak minded guy only see's the physical so he is easily manipulated by a woman's looks. A strong minded guy looks deeper. He still has physical requirements but it's NOT what determines if he goes for her or not
I guess they would but it really depends on preferences. For example, if she likes "strong" men and there is a "strong" man that likes a "strong" woman then I wouldn't really see this applying. I don't really know if women like this prefer strong men, or beta men, or femboys or what tbh.
I also wouldn't really consider you a "beta male". As long as a man can perform two duties which is protect and provide I wouldn't really classify them as a "beta male". You can use a gun for one and the other seems likely.
Yeah... the thing about me is... I have practically no fighting experience. So unless I have a gun on me--keep in mind I'm not a gun owner--my friend's sister would have to protect ME if we started dating.
Not necessarily. My wife is a strong woman and likewise I'm a community leader, second in command to my father and President of my own worker union and cooperative, the youngest here. I give directions, guidance, analyze situations and establish policies for the community at large, alongside spearheading social campaigns and initiatives. My wife is a strong and intelligent woman, but she has little to no part in my activities.
No, not at all. Generally it shifts as necessary, but nowadays I make all the decisions - naturally I ask for her consensus and don't force anything on her. But politically, socially and economically I hold most of the power. She has a position in another organization, but I asked her to take it and she just rubberstamps my decisions. I did read the whole thing. I admit that my own image is built a bit like you wrote - a bit feminine and delicate, with the addition of big glasses and smile. My intention is to appear friendly and harmless, works very well in business and politics if you can manage both a feminine and masculine appearance.
Honestly I haven't seen any because in my opinion beta males don't exists. Neither alphas. Only leaders and followers, if anything. Also what do you mean with "are you the only case you've seen of this happening?" Pardon but I must be understanding wrong, that you are labeling me a "beta" or like I say a follower, because I'm not.
Tbh, I would consider myself an alpha female and a beta female. And that's probably why most guys never ask me out because they are confused about me (Or maybe because I'm ugly, I'm not sure yet LOLLLLL) but in all seriousness, it's all about balancing your feminity and masculinity for both genders. I can always tell when a guy isn't balancing both and forcing his masculine energy. You can always tell. A natural masculine man's first words on a date wouldn't be "Well you know, I'm a dominant" and or "I'm assertive, and I would want you to do what I say". This type of energy would be natural to a masculine man. He would still be demanding, however, but it would be in a respectful way. Most masculine energies that are forced can come off as disrespect and impatience. Now to answer your question, it can happen and is most likely to.
I'm not a beta male and a strong woman attracted me. So I don't think this is a hard rule, at least. I don't know how common yours is cause I'm on the opposite side but in my experience strong/masculine/dominant whatever women tend to attract men with those same traits.
I don't know I was chasing a dog when we met so maybe it was athleticism spontaneity or something or just the dog yknow women like dogs, but this one was god ugly. I'll ask her after work ig now I'm curious
Then I won't love any guy. I am a masculine woman but deep down I wanna see if a guy would have still loved me even if I was insecure, shy, timid and emotional. I guess it's impossible for me to find love.
I feel that guys only see my positive side and are attracted towards me. But what if I was insecure, boring, too emotional and needed love? Will the care? NO THEY WILL RUN AWAY
To love all of me, not just my strong, cheerful, successful and entertaining side... they should also love me for my sad and boring side. That's what true love is.
"I feel that guys only see my positive side and are attracted towards me. But what if I was insecure, boring, too emotional and needed love? Will the care? NO THEY WILL RUN AWAY." Actually, Azura, it is the other way around. If the guy was "insecure, boring, too emotional and needed love", YOU would run away.
@Curmudgeon you don't know my life right? I DATED THE EXACT PERSON YOU JUST DESCRIBED. That's why I expect same in return. I broke up because he was only using me as a best option and was a lying snake.
@azura_88 "I DATED THE EXACT PERSON YOU JUST DESCRIBED. That's why I expect same in return. I broke up because he was only using me as a best option and was a lying snake."
OK, but ask yourself this: WHY was he "only using me as a best option and was a lying snake"? Could it be that he did that precisely *because* he was insecure and too emotional? That is, his emotion and insecurity overcame his reason and sensibility? And that was why you rejected him and understandably so? (I am not picking on you, please don't misunderstand. I am looking at the why and the how)
@Curmudgeon yes I understand your analysis. But lying because he was a coward. Insecure means about his looks and personality only. Not when he lied to me he's busy because we weren't able to meet. I told him even if you're free and don't wanna talk it's okay I understand. HE WASN'T EMOTIONAL AT ALLLLLL. He turned out to be a narcissist who wanted to use me.
"If you don't love me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."-- Marylin Monroe.
I can totally relate to that and to what you're saying. Even though I find strong independent women attractive, I could totally love someone who was insecure shy timid, and by the way emotional is a GOOD thing. Sensitivity is wonderful. I can also be very strong when someone needs support, and to me, one of the best things about love is knowing you can share all of you- the good and the bad- trusting and knowing that none of it will be rejected. I'm not suggesting I can be someone's therapist, but you can't be held and cry into the arms of a therapist. But I can listen to what she's working on in her therapy and be supportive, or her to me. I don't think that's co-dependency or unhealthy.
I very much want to be that person who can care for, support, and comfort someone, and sometimes I may need her support. I break down and hug my pillow sometimes. But yes, sometimes the things I read in forums makes me have the exact same fear that you express- that if I am anything other than a "rock" I'll be deserted. Even though, I CAN be and WANT to be that rock sometimes- I need her to be that for me sometimes too. I promise you there are men who will appreciate all of you, and it's also comforting to me to know that a woman can have this same fear, as somehow I've got it in my head that this is more a man's problem (possible confirmation bias)
Besides... to me, part of what makes me feel closer is seeing the things they're afraid they might be judged by- the parts that aren't perfect, or positive. That's what makes us human and vulnerable I think. And sometimes our culture is too obsessed with "toxic positivity".
you might hate or like my opinion but gaining confidence and actually getting fit yourself will make you get closer to your goal... even millionaire women look for richer guys... there's always exceptions to the case but they are only exception and it's few of them.
That really doesn't answer my question. I was asking if women who are more "in their masculine" so to speak, attract more feminine, weak, or submissive men. I'm asking if you see this happen a lot.
Generally no, as strong women usually only hook up with strong men, but in this case, definitely.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Woman prefer and more attracted to assholes then the loser beta's. If the alpha male wants his dick sucked then he gets his wished. Beta males are virgin for life.
Sadly this. Sorry @TomGarand, but you have to save up your money and go visit a professional dominatrix if you REALLY want this kind of thing. (And is so doing, you may learn that you really *don't*.) Nearly ALL women in the normal world will be at best turned off by this or at worst use it as a weapon against you.
@Curmudgeon "Nearly all women in the normal world will be at best turned off by this."
Dude, you're describing the average woman. The average woman wants the man to be in charge. But that's not what I was asking you. I was asking you if women who are more in their masculine attract weak, submissive, or feminine men.
And I was asking because I hear about this a lot, especially professional women who are overly independent and aggressive. You know what kind of women I'm talking about.
Finally, I said in the question that I'm trying to date my friend's sister, who's one of the few women who WANTS to be in charge and enjoys it.
"And I was asking because I hear about this a lot, especially professional women who are overly independent and aggressive. You know what kind of women I'm talking about."
That is that they SAY, to what they pay lip service. Watch what they actually DO. it will be very different. The voice of experience here. I really don't mean to put you down on this (let your hired pro domme do that! :D) but I have 30 more years experience in the emotional minefield of dating and relationships.
I mean, when she does date. What traits does she find attractive in men? All I know is she likes to be in charge, and she finds it attractive when the guy is fit.
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