I am meeting up with my ex for Valentine's Day. Should I get him a gift?

[Anonymous]

We started talking again but are not offical. He has already told me he got me a gift. I asked him not to till we talked things out. He said he already bought it. He insisted on a fancy vday date and says he has something to tell me. I love him but until we talk things out I am not sure there is a future.

[ManOnFire]

The red flag here is that it hasn't been long since you guys started talking again and he already wanted to do a date with you, already bought you a gift and you guys haven't even talked about the past yet, and he wanted to do it on Valentines Day. Most exes do not start off with such a bang when reconnecting.

He is either being super presumptuous, just wants a quick date with some sex, or he is going to ghost you after the daye. I lean towards the latter because most times when a person tries to come back into your life with that much firepower right off the bat, they almost always will ghost you shortly after.

He was an ex for a reason. Leave that door closed.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. You know reuniting with an ex is almost ALWAYS a mistake, right? Even if you think you love him. Even if you think "this is different." Even if you really want it to work. Even if you miss him.

2. He wants to get laid on February 14. Tell him no sex on Valentine's Day and you may see his enthusiasm fly out the window.

[catiecatie]

Maybe if he already has something for you. Nothing too big and don’t give it to him till you guys talked things out. Don’t want to be like “Hey here’s your gift!” Just wait to see what he has to say. Again nothing too big and too fancy, something simple just in case if things don’t work out. Best of luck!

[Asker]

thanks this is a weird situation

[Lovely210]

Yes but something simple. Give him the Good stuff when you all are official again. Good luck!

[sheikalana]

No gift. Just show up looking your best.

[coachTanthony]

No you are the gift that keeps on giving.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Don't get him a gift, keep your boundaries. And don't even open the gift he got you considering you already told him not to do that. Don't accept the gift and don't give him one. He's using the gift as a way to manipulate your attention to try and convince you of something. I wouldn't even look at it.

[virtue2332]

Yeah go into with negative energy and assume he wants to manipulate you. Make sure he knows you are going out of your way to make things awkward. That always works out when you treat someone you care about like a stranger your meeting for the first time. Don't just go in it with an open mind and be you. The past doesn't gaurantee future results. Don't play games communicate and let your instincts guide you. If it feels wrong I say its wrong. If you go into with a positive state of mind the energy should follow.

[Juxtapose]

@virtue2332 this guy is spitting straight facts.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I 100% get where you’re coming from but when someone decides that your boundary isn’t what they want and break it because of that, it means they don’t respect you as a person, not really.

[Juxtapose]

It depends on what kind of relationship they had. Maybe he was used to her "no" not being absolute and she allowed that.

It's not what I would do personally because I take people's boundaries seriously. Maybe she should be suspicious or maybe she should see that he is in love and desperate. It's hard to tell as an outsider on the internet.

[virtue2332]

@Juxtapose Exactly, Its impossible, especially with soo little to go on. The fact that she said she loves him still would indicate that he can't be that bad of a guy or that she was with him forever. As far as the gift I don't see how it crosses boundaries she made it sound like she said not to after he had already bought it for her. Since she has feelings she should go into it with a positive mind enjoying the evening and take things as they go going forward. We only have a limited time on earth and I've learned that if you spend too much time thinking about the past or too much time overthinking the future you miss out on enjoying present. She can't lose having a positive attitude and being genuine why waste time playing a bunch of games, I mean if she feel like she has to treat someone she loves with the same amt of caution as if she just met him on tinder she doesn't know what love is and its probably not going to work anyway.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Just because you have feelings for someone doesn’t mean the relationship is going to work or is healthy. You need more than love to make a relationship work, not to mention we have no idea what the relationship is like and, as @Juxtapose said, we can’t tell much as outsiders. My opinion on this is just as valid as yours considering we both know the same amount of information.

[OfMiceandMen]

I would just buy him a coffee or something first and hang out and talk. Very difficult to talk and eat dinner at the same time. If you are getting along, go for some dessert afterwards.

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[lightbulb27]

oh, that's a lot of stress...

He's making the efforts. Take it as a new start, but there is work ahead, accept that.

[Anemone978]

I would get him a small gift and try to have a good day.. see how things go...

[tiajoka]

You told him you didn’t want anything; he chose to get it. He shouldn’t expect something from you. It will be forced and disingenuous. I recommend against it

[Anonymous]

EX. EX... valentines day. EX...

yeah no, too good to be true. don't believe this nonsense. stay broken up.

[linka_pat307]

Just wear up elegantly and sexy,. That is a gift to show him you are something without him

[PainusNdeeAnus]

Yes get him some curry goat

[PatriceONeal]

Well you're 30-35 what are the realistic chances you find someone again?

[Asker]

Kind of rude don't you think

[PatriceONeal]

It's a question you should ask yourself. If you think a logical question is rude that's your issue.

[Anemone978]

Why do guys in their 30's hate women in the same age group? LMAO yes you guys can get girls in their 20's but we also can get guys in their 20's so why the hate bro?

[Juxtapose]

People in their 90s can find people lol.

[Anemone978]

@Juxtapose Yeah so true lol but I keep seeing guys saying women in their 30's are undesirable.. its like wtf? We the same age? LMAO

[Juxtapose]

@Anemone978 they're "red pill" misogynists.

[PatriceONeal]

@Juxtapose no just red pill, not cowards like you

[Juxtapose]

Yeah, coming from the same group of people who are so insecure they can't date women with high body counts ✋😂

"I'm afraid of being compared to her best lay so I will only date women who have had very little sex so I will seem better in comparison."

You are WEAK!

[PatriceONeal]

@Juxtapose is that why you think men prefer virgins? Sounds like you are projecting there fedora boy. How insecure must YOU be to want a girlfriend with a high body count. You'll be beta boyfriend #52 in a heartbeat bringing some skank flowers lmao.

[Juxtapose]

See? You think that just because she has a lot of sex that you will be regulated as some kind of notch in her belt. Your insecurities are showing.

I can be with a woman who has slept with thousands of men and not be shaken. All that matters is the content of her character and casual sex does not degrade your character no matter how much you wish it did.

[Juxtapose]

Sex is one of the only things you weirdos think experience in is negative. If I play a lot of chess games, does that make winning a chess tournament less meaningful just because I have played it a lot? Does playing instrument a lot make playing it less meaningful? Absolutely not, I have more skill in that activity than the less experienced person.

[PatriceONeal]

@Juxtapose it's not insecurity its reality. You're less likely to pair bond with a person who's had a long and bumpy past. I know you don't come in contact with real women so I'm being patient w you.

[PatriceONeal]

@Juxtapose dating women is nothing like playing chess.🤣

[PatriceONeal]

@Anemone978 k were the same age. We aren't the same gender. As a woman you are the chooser of the species. If you're single at 30 as a woman than I just wonder wth you e been up to all thruout your 20s. Men also age better so the prime for men is around my age 35. Where a woman's prime is In her early 20s. This isn't hard to understand. Just hard for many women to accept. This is the result of your poor decisions not "misogyny". This buzzword dogwhistle of the degenerate insane leftwing horde.

[Anemone978]

LMAO you are just copying what other men who hear the same shit from what ever alpha male clown you base your opinions on say... Get your own brain bro.. I was married my whole 20's that's why I'm single now... what the fuck have you been doing all your 20's fuck face? What do you bring to the table? Men age better? You ain't looking so hot bro? Plus I know guys still in their 20's looking older than me... you only age good if you take care of yourself...
And our poor decisions? I picked the wrong guy when I was 20.. why you still single?
So why don't you stop with your "basic bitch" knowledge and grow some balls and maybe open your mind up a bit, you might learn something...

[Juxtapose]

@patriceoneal that's if you're with a woman who's too stupid to compartmentalize her trauma. Are you dating nitwits or what?

I was recently living with one until she moved out but nice try.

[PatriceONeal]

@Anemone978 you proved my point with your childish and predictable response.

[PatriceONeal]

@Juxtapose women don't compartmentalize. That's men.

[Anemone978]

Yeah you just got no rebuttal... why not just admit defeat LOL

[PatriceONeal]

@Anemone978 go talk to your cat lonely woman.

[Anemone978]

My cat's dead bro 😒

[PatriceONeal]

@Anemone978 lol cat couldn't even stand you

[Anemone978]

Yes that was exactly it... I had him since I was 15 he died last year...

[PatriceONeal]

@Anemone978 too bad it was a pet and not a human child, they live longer.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Sounds like a mistake, especially with the uncertainty.

[JamesRandiDebates]

No need to buy him anything. Just make sure the BJ is extra good.

[Anonymous]

He obviously wants to have sex with you on 14 February. Mark my words.

[Anonymous]

Get your pussy eaten and leave him on hard. See if he has the same care for you after.

[Anonymous]

can i shoot myself now or at least throw up