Known her for 5 years, been close friends with her for over 2. she's confessed her feelings to me once but only did so to make me feel better after a rough day and says she doesn't feel that way anymore. Now she constantly tells me that I'm her perfect partner and jokingly says she would marry me any day, hearing things like this constantly eventually broke me and I confessed my feelings to her and how I felt hearing her say this. She says she is relieved but is not ready to commit yet before having her sexual experiences but that she would eventually come back for me.
Hearing this I feel like maybe I should have been happy but the emotions I felt immediately after this was; 1. relief, that all these feelings I had were finally out. And that's as good as it gets, eventually I felt insulted that she asked me to wait for her but my heart keeps going back and forth.
You simply fell into her trap. She simply wanted to check you out to see whether you could act as a backup for a potentially failed other relationship.
Apparently, you are not the one she has in mind when she wants to start fornicating. You made the error to play her game and now she knows you have feelings for her. She has you wrapped around her finger and that is not a good sign.
It is never nice to know that one is only a backup solution to a possibly failed relation. It is time for you to realize that you are not good enough to play first fiddle. Distance yourself from her before you hurt yourself even more.
She is bisexual and is with other girls as far as I know, although she did fool around with a few guys before this. Her reasoning is that she would grow to resent me if she didn't have these experiences before we get together.
As I type it I realize that I'm not making a better stand for myself on here, but I need the insight.