''Love Yourself First''. Is this a good dating advice?

[experience]

Should we love ourselves first in a relationship?

[ShiftingMonke]

Ideally, you should love yourself well before you enter a relationship with someone else.

If you love yourself the way you love another, you'll be on the right track for a healthy mindset. Think of it like this:

• Do you love your partner for who they are, and not who you want them to be?
• Are you happy and proud to be associated with your partner?
• Is your partner growing individually in a good direction, making good choices and otherwise trying to become better as a person?

These are just a few questions that serve as both a guidepost for finding a good person to spend your life with, but if you replace "your partner" with "yourself" in each question, you can see the point I'm driving at. If you do not love yourself and who you are, then how can you ask- or trust in- another to love you unconditionally? Loving yourself is much harder to do, as you know yourself better than anyone, and it's far too easy to focus on our flaws and negatives when reviewing past events. Overcoming that, and loving ones self long before convincing someone else to love you, is a cornerstone of a happy and healthy relationship.

[MaazHussain]

Yes, "Love Yourself First" is generally considered good dating advice. It is important to have a healthy level of self-love and self-respect before entering into a relationship with someone else. When you love and respect yourself, you are better equipped to make healthy choices in your relationships and set boundaries that protect your well-being.

If you don't love yourself, you may settle for less than you deserve in a relationship, or you may seek validation from your partner, which can lead to unhealthy dynamics. Taking the time to work on yourself and develop self-love can help you attract healthier relationships and improve your overall well-being. So, loving yourself first is a crucial aspect of building a healthy relationship.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s the most important one I believe.

For the people like me who fall head over heels in love.

I was loved in the best ways possible. My love story was a fairytale every girl would dream. Yet, it ended with my heartbreak, because somewhere in the process I forgot to love myself first.

[DaySpring]

Why did it end?

[weysally]

if you can't love yourself how do you expect someone else to love you, remember this though, " when you walk into a place say to yourself, no one is better than me, but I'm no better than anyone else"

[Guy13]

Guess so... overrated is Carl Rogers !!

[jshm2]

No. It's easy words, that don't mean jack shit in reality.

Like saying "be yourself!". Bitch, who the fuck else are you if not yourself?

If you're not contemplating suicide, then you are loving yourself. Similarly if you have a life goal and daily schedule, then you are yourself.

There is no real "good" dating advice as everyone's life and circumstances are different. But the only one that is universal I would say is "Hide your red flags, find all theirs".

[DaySpring]

@experience Only thing in dating that matters is the value you give to their life
Loving yourself is an emotional activity. The mood you're in, you give to the world. Bipolar people know all about this.
A normal person only treats the one they love bad when they are angry or hurt. In that moment they do not love them.

Love is an emotional activity. So is hate. Hate is bound too angry and hurt.
Love is bound to appreciation and enthusiasm.
And the outward expressions of those emotions interact with the world.

Love and Hate cannot be active at the same time, because both are activities and you cannot do both at the same time.

[cherry_pankhuri]

When you stop and think about it, it’s completely true, and probably the best relationship advice you’ve ever been given. Loving yourself is step #1 in the game of love. Before you get sick of being single, you have to enjoy the time you’re spending alone. ❤️❤️

[Crankor]

In a sense yes.. I'd say it's more about not living for someone else but being able to be content with yourself on your own as well if needed. The purpose being you don't have much of your own identity if you say you can't live without someone vs not wanting to live without someone

[Heolurt]

I often ask how one is to "love" themselves when no one in their life has ever shown them "love", how are they supposed to do something they've never been shown or trained to do?

For example, I've never been shown anything close to it in my life, my parents didn't even like me since I was born, I didn't fit into their vision of a perfect beautiful family.

[RavVid]

No! Be of use to yourself first because you can't be of use to anyone if you are not of use to yourself.

Loving yourself first is narcissistic. You are only of use to you. And your perfect... Get away from me NOW!

[Razp_Sorbet]

Yes. Putting the responsibility of your happiness on someone else is not ok.

[melanieeeB]

Yess, totally agreed! Love this.

[FreyaRed]

Depends. We all know love and hatred are close to each other and love isn't always the same. This is valid for self-love as well.

[OfMiceandMen]

For sure. I don't see how a person can truly love someone else if they don't love themselves.

[LazerBean]

If you are miserable being with yourself, you can be damn sure that anyone else is going to be miserable with you if they spend enough time with you.

[WaterIsland]

Yes for sure. A relationship is about partnership. It’s hard to be a good partner and love another if you don’t love yourself.

[CateM]

To an extent, yes. Don't change who you are for another person, but do take their needs into account as well

[WellGreetingsISay]

It's good to love yourself foremost but sometimes we need someone else to love us before we can work on loving ourselves

[HappyWoman34]

Always. Especially with men. They need to know that you don’t need them but only want them.

[melanieeeB]

Definitely! Not only in dating but overall in life. It's important to put yourself first.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes, because if you do not care for yourself, you won't know yourself well enough to know who you are compatible with.

[Fireguy17]

yes, if you are not happy with yourself, no one else can make you happy.

[Juxtapose]

I don't get it, loving yourself is like trying to love the void. Love is an external thing to be given to others. I can't hate or love myself.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It means having self worth/self value/self appreciation.

You can give yourself love. Any time you treat yourself to something you enjoy, or do something for your current or future benefit, it counts as that.

[Juxtapose]

@TheSpaceGnome That's just being an adult who properly regulates their emotions.

Giving love means you value that thing more than yourself, like I with my mother fir instance. I can never feel the same about myself.

[Juxtapose]

*for instance

[TheSpaceGnome]

Love is the admiration and appreciation of that which brings you joy.

It is not about self sacrifice.

My talents, motor skills, and comprehension skills and bring me joy, so I do things to enable those.

Likewise, if an object, activity, or other being brings you joy, you enable their existence, improvement, and considerations as well. Sometimes the considerations require a self sacrifice to maintain, but love exists even outside of those rare instances.

[Justneedtokno]

Yes because you have to know how you react, think and feel In situations.

[AsaKyo]

This is a hard question to answer since I don't love myself, but maybe?

[AydenHazor]

Absolutely! You will love others far better if you love yourself first

[genericname85]

Absolutely. I would even say that it's dangerous to date if you don't love yourself.

[nawtee_me]

No! You should love yourself before getting into a relationship. How can you love someone else if you don't love yourself?

[Iron_Man]

I used to think that, but sometimes it can help you fall in love with yourself

[Shy_Steve]

It is, But a lot of People love themself too much and it looks Unattractive.

[Snakeyes7]

It is, however it's tough advice to follow since it's kind of vague.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Depends on how much you love yourself

[FilmGuy93]

Yes! That is honestly phenomenal advice.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

No, it's bullshit.

[Hannajenky]

Absolutely yes

[Anonymous]

Absolutely.

[MadAndBankrupt]

Yes!

[Julia1244]

Yeaa

[noohair]

Yes..

[Anonymous]

Sure thing