My boyfriend jokes about cheating with my best friend. I don’t know what to do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend constantly jokes about sleeping with my best friend but says it’s a joke every time and says he will never do that. He joked about how he has already slept with her before in the past (she knew him before I met him). He joked about how even if they slept together she wouldn’t tell me and neither would he. It’s all jokes jokes jokes but if I was to joke about something like this it would be world war 3.

[Finchie40]

His jokes are disrespectful period, so my advice is, the next time he makes a joke like that to you , throw one back in his face about you wanting to sleep with one of his friends, and tell him he won’t know about it and leave it at that , see how he reacts from that , make him realize his jokes are out of line and disrespectful , even though he is just saying it’s jokes it’s actually a manipulative control tactic to see if it bothers you or not , it’s his own insecurity that he is testing you on to see if you will get jealous , it’s also a sign that he doesn’t trust you cuz sadly he doesn’t trust himself , you should honestly reconsider this type of relationship cuz sadly for a guy to do this to a girl he claims he cares about , is a sign of weakness , when someone is that insecure in their relationship , it means they will eventually be up to no good themselves , because they feel their partner is up to no good as well , so iit gives them an excuse to pursue someone else, and play a victim , Most girls use this manipulative tactic to see how confident her man is , I dated girls’ that did this to me to try to make me jealous to test me, to see how I would respond to it , leaving me with question marks over my head has to why they were saying shit like this? To come to find out she had a hard time trusting me , it’s her way of testing me without her coming off as insecure , it’s actually ok for a girl to do this because most girls are drawn to a guys confidence and masculine energy , But for a guy to do this it’s a sign of weakness inside himself , so Is he making these jokes often to you? Or is it just once in awhile? So my advice is to throw it back in his face , don’t worry about him cheating on you , if he cheats on you that’s your answer that you deserve someone way better then this , you don’t won’t to end up with a weak man , you will eventually been turned off , so value yourself worth and realize you deserve someone that trusts and feels secure with you that won’t say disrespectful things like this to you , It’s ok for partners to get jealous of each other once in awhile but if it’s consistent it’s a bad sign that they truly don’t trust you meaning they don’t trust themselves

[MaazHussain]

It's understandable that you feel uncomfortable and unsure about how to respond to your boyfriend's jokes. It's important to remember that joking about cheating can be hurtful and disrespectful, even if it's meant to be a joke.

You could try talking to your boyfriend and letting him know that these jokes make you uncomfortable and that you would appreciate it if he would stop making them. It's important to communicate your feelings and boundaries in a relationship, and your partner should respect and honor them.

If your boyfriend continues to make these jokes even after you've asked him to stop, it may be a sign of a deeper issue in the relationship that you may want to address. Trust is an important part of any relationship, and it's important to make sure that both partners feel respected and valued.

[Anonymous]

You already show him he can cross that boundary and make those jokes, but you can’t and if you do then he’ll raise hell and/or breakup. There’s no way he should be able to behave that way, but you let him get away with it all the time so where’s his incentive to stop disrespecting you? He gets no repercussions and manipulated you into being so passive and accepting of that shit. You should feel bad.

[AmyHew1tt]

This sounds unhealthy. I won't tell you to spit up with him, but that behavior is kind of toxic. It's like purposefully putting doubts in your partner's mind. Then those people get mad when you don't trust him. I would seriously consider the relationship.

[AmyHew1tt]

Also, my mom was in a relationship kind of like that before she met my dad. The guy would point out pictures of girls and be like, "if I cheated on you, it would be with her, or a girl who looks like her."

They didn't end well, let's just say.

[AydenHazor]

It sounds like he's getting you to be discussing of it if and when you find out that it's true. Even if he isn't sleeping with her, it sounds like he wants to, and regardless of whether he is it but he's being disrespectful toward you. This is not a healthy relationship dynamic and you should consider whether you want to stay with him

[SnowedIn]

This sounds incredibly unhealthy. Honestly, it may be best to end it. He's clearly demonstrating that he doesn't value or respect you. You deserve better.

Jokes are funny. What he's saying isn't funny.

[abc3643]

Reply, "If you keep up with this 'joking', you're not going to be thinking it's a joke when I leave your ass, but I'll be laughing with my new, more mature boyfriend."

[scott04sa22]

That’s immature and unhealthy. That’s a yellow flag in my category of healthy relationships.


good flag means healthy relationship


yellow flag means unhealthy relationship


red flag means bad relationship

[FilmGuy93]

Sounds like you need to make a choice about whether you want to remain in a relationship with double standards

[WaterIsland]

So unhealthy and immature. I know I wouldn’t stay with someone who did that.

[genericname85]

yeah that's a bit weird for sure. like a bit out of touch. but i think if he actually did it, he wouldn't use that to tease you.

[exitseven]

he is really hoping you suggest a threesome with her.

[DaveToo]

Infidelity is nothing to joke about. Dump the asshole.

[rabbitzzz]

Joke about sleeping with other men, praise other men in front of him.

[noohair]

So he finds hurting you to be amusing? That is cruel.

[Wise4myage]

He deserves to be dumped.

[Anonymous]

This sounds unhealthy.

[jimmy2]

That's not a joke