Two guys I dated called me ugly?

[Anonymous]

I’ve dated two guys and both has said similar things to how they feel about me during arguments. My last boyfriend told me I wasn’t attractive and he didn’t want to be seen with me in public. But that was only during arguments.

This new guy Im seeing we have gotten into tons of arguments but there are a few where he gets to name calling and talking about my appearance. He called me this word three times…. (Can’t pronounce or spell it) it’s a word he made up to “describe a woman who is ugly but a guy sleep with and keeps in the house and don’t go in public with. “ He doesn’t say it all the time but he has called me the word three times in the argument and said that was me. The last time he called me that he said I think that I’m better than him and a lot of other people but I’m really that. I never given him the idea that I’m better than others but he has. But back to the story, I’ve been called ugly by two guys not just that but saying they are embarrassed of me. I don’t see anything embarrassing about myself, I’m not big or dress terrible or smell. I get told I’m beautiful often. I look pretty normal but I don’t get the idea on why they feel that way. I feel terrible and unattractive.

Some advice needed.

[Breanna_nonbinary]

When we are young and dumb and argue with others we rely on our instincts and not our brains. Interpersonal communication is learned not instinct. So when we haven’t learned to communicate our frustrations correctly we tend to hurt each other with words. They know that you are self conscious about how you look. They know it’s an easy way to hurt you. The best way to overcome this is to have self confidence in yourself.
For example. Some men are homophobic and if you call them “gay” they get extremely mad and will defend their straightness. If they were confident that they were straight it wouldn’t bother them. If they didn’t care what others thought of them, then it wouldn’t bother them. Since I’m trans I get called gay all the time. But I’m not. It doesn’t bother me because I know it’s not true.
How you confident you are in yourself can only be dictated by you. How you react to things is entirely up to you. You can decide to let it bother you or you can allow others to manipulate how you feel about yourself.
Feel free to PM me if you need more good advice. 😊

[Anonymous]

And your question is?

[Minahh]

They're ugly as fuck