My friend told me I should read a book about why men love bitches. But I’m not naturally bitchy and I’m sweet - can I find a guy by being kind?

[Anonymous]

She thinks she’s so successful at dating, but she’s with a guy she doesn’t think is hot. And she can only meet guys online, not in person.
Randomly at the gym one day she tells me I should read this. I’m really shy and quiet but I’m not like insecure and just let people do whatever. I’m confused what she means or if she’s just being a troll.

[NamerOfStars]

You'll have BETTER luck finding a guy by being kind. Men don't love bitches- they're often attracted to certain bitchy behaviors, but that's the "pump and dump" kind of attraction- if you're looking for something more enduring, guys much prefer the kind of women they'll want to wake up with to the kind they just want to sleep with.

It is, however, true that it's harder to get a guy to notice you if you're behaviorally more laid back- and it's REALLY hard to get a date with someone who doesn't really know you exist. It's still readily doable, you just may have to be a bit more active in the "expressing interest" part.

[Asker]

Yeah she’s so mean and while she has a boyfriend she always wants someone better. And she’s always talking bad about other people and their appearance. Meanwhile she’s like a 6/10 and out of shape. Sorry that’s mean but I’m sick of toxic behavior.

[NamerOfStars]

Yeah, you're not going to find much happiness living that way. Life's at its best when you desperately desire the things you already have.

[Asker]

I feel like a lot of guys like these kinds of women though.

[NamerOfStars]

For certain definitions of "like". If all you want is to catch his eye, it may very well help.

[serious]

You are very sweet as a person. That itself is a good quality. Don't listen to such friend who tell you that you need to change your nature.

You should be who you are. There are men who love women who are open book type, who are very nice, kind and sweet by nature.

There is no need to change, as a man I can tell you that confidently. It is better to remain single/alone instead of changing yourself into something bad/negative.

[designer1]

That’s terrible advice. Just be yourself. There is someone for everyone. I say this not to mean there is only one person but many people somewhere out there that will be attracted to who you are. You just have to get yourself out there. If you start a relationship by presenting to them someone who you are not, it will not last and it will only cause unnecessary hurt to both parties.

[Anonymous]

That book is different than what you are probably assuming. If you were complaining to her she was probably trying to help. If it was unsolicited then just brush it off

[Asker]

I think it’s more than that though. Every time I tell her a guy complimented me or smiled at me she just says oh they do that to everyone, implying I’m not special or anything. She rips apart any guy I date. Once I was exclusive with someone and she told me to check that he’s not seeing anyone else in this Facebook group called are we dating the same guy? Just assuming he’d definitely not just be seeing me.
I just think if she was genuine she’d be more happy for me.

[Asker]

It was unsolicited. I just told her I wanted to read the Art of Seduction (for fun, not implying it was to do with men) and she was like out of nowhere “I don’t think that’s gonna help you with anything. Just read Why Men Love Bitches.”

[Opinion Owner]

She’s clearly rubbing you the wrong way, why be friends with her?

[Asker]

I don't know anymore. I’ve hung out with her before but not this much. She just joined my gym and wanted to be gym buddies. So I’m just getting to know her even more and who she really is.

[Opinion Owner]

You should slow fade out of being her friend, she’s clearly causing you anxiety even when she’s not around hence posting on here

[Asker]

Well it all started after I lost someone close to me and she was like “I’ll send you something.” And she never did. I called out of the blue once crying and she picked up the phone and everything. After the new year we went to work out together and after that she seemed super annoyed with me and cold. Like I just lost someone obviously I’m not feeling great. She has no compassion.

[RavVid]

You surely can. Who wrote that book, I'm guessing a bitch woman with an agenda. We like co-operative women. There is possibly an occasional guy who likes to be a bitches bitch.

[Marked_Man]

Yes, that's the best kind.