My boyfriend started dating me when I was 16 and he was 19 now I’m 28 he 31 was he a creep?

[Anonymous]

[SteveSmith1985]

I wouldn't go so far as to say he was a creep. But... it's unusual for a 19 year old guy to date a 16 year old girl. But I wouldn't go so far as to say it was creepy.

It's frankly, much less creepy considering how long you've been together now. It's more creepy if like... a 19 year old guy seems to have a penchant for 16 year old girls (like... maybe dated more than one of them).

I think it's interesting, (and a little concerning) that you're finding yourself wondering this after all this time. That's especially true since you're still with him. It's not like you're wondering if that guy from your past... that guy who dated you when you were 16 and he was 19... who YOU NEVER SAW AGAIN was a creep.

You're asking if the guy you've been with for 12 years IS a creep. That's really different. I'm not quite sure what to make of this. I would think, that if anyone in the whole world would NOT find it creepy... it would be you (specifically). You would be able to "excuse" the age thing on the grounds that he was "your Mr. Right... and you obviously were a great match... as evidenced by how long you've been together."

So if this is creepy to you... then fair enough. But there's your answer.

This isn't something that's... automatically objectively creepy. But it's borderline. And different people may very well have different answers as to how appropriate or creepy this is. But if it's creepy to YOU... then that's valid. I'm in no position to say "no, you're wrong about that." I think it's a bit subjective.

[Avicenna]

It's a little late to worry about that now, isn't it? I'd say he wasn't or you wouldn't have stayed with him this long. He shouldn't have dated a 16 year old when he was 19 if it is not legal where you live, but apparently no one cares.

[Catarine]

I don't think so. 19 and 16 is pretty close age wise, men typically want a younger partner and women older. Those ages are tricky because of that as you are in between of 18. Since he stayed with you as you got older it definetly shows that he was not a creep but rather that he liked you. If he had however left you as you got 18 or 19 and kept looking for a 16 year old that would indicate creepy behavior, but he didn't so no not a creep

[HollyK21]

After being with him so long, you’re asking this question for a reason. So what’s he doing? If it’s raising a red flag or making you question him then that’s concerning.

[Keyboardkat]

I don't think he's a creep. I started dating my first girlfriend when she was 15 and I was 17 and a half. She became my first great love and we were together four years. But in those days (early 1960s), "consent" was not an issue because sex during early dating was NOT assumed. There wasn't really much in the way of birth control available for teenagers back then. Frustrating? Oh, yes. But it was the way of life. Girls were brought up to protect their virginity, and guys were brought up to treat girls with respect. And we usually did. Guys might try to get as far as possible with a girl but we knew she would resist and would say no, and we respected that. It was safer that way. If not, that was called rape.

[Anonymous]

I dunno, is he still attracted to 16 year olds? Because if so, then yes he's a Creep!

I can understand 19 and 16 a little better. I remember a 17 year old girl asking me out when I was 21. I found her attractive. But I was also pretty immature at that age. And we worked together so I don't think it was weird. Either way, I turned her down because I thought the same thing, that I was legally an adult at that point and she was still considered a child. And I thought if I was her parents I wouldn't stand for that. Now here we are 20+ years later she's married and we're still friends. I regret that we never dated.

This is probably info you didn't need. But I guess what I'm saying is I wasn't attracted to underage girls I was attracted to her. And I set up a silly roadblock that cost me a potential future with her. So my advice to you is watch your boyfriend and be cognizant of his reaction to underage girls 16 and 19 isn't really weird 16 and 31 IS!

[Jdjfjcjj]

If you were happy in the relationship, I doubt you'd ever consider much less ask other people, even if your identity is kept anonymous, whether your guy is a creep.

It wasn't an issue fior 12 years, don't use this as some justification to judge him at this point

[Miristheiss]

You've know him for TWELVE WHOLE YEARS. I think you know him better than us. You are still with him. You want to make sure him asking you 12 years ago was ok? ? Are you going to get offended by it 12 years later?

[Asker]

Before I wouldn’t think this but now that I’m older I notice he gets kind of strange when we come across teenage girls. Like I’m stores or sometimes in the streets. Is like he gets nervous

[LiamJHayden]

Based upon only that, I cannot assume so. We do not know where you are from, thus we do not know the age of consent there nor if there is a close-in-age exception. There is also the fact that it sounds like you are still together a dozen years later.

[aufwp]

It's a bit strange... personally, I would not date someone at such a gap during that age, but I know many people who have done so and they have not been critized harshly for it so many people see it as normal. That is also much more normal in more traditional countries.

What is odd though, is that you think he may be a "creep", and it might not be a good idea to think of your significant other in this way.

[Asker]

Only reason why I say this now is because I notice he gets kind of strange when we in stores and we come across teenage girls. Like he gets nervous not sure if I’m tripping.

[aufwp]

P. S. At my age (24), the youngest I would date is someone who is 20 which is a 4 year difference, which is think makes more sense seeing as we are both in our twenties. I may even date someone who is 20 if i were 26. 19 and 16 might be seen as strange, because one of the persons is over 18 which a lot of people tend to view as the true "adult" age.

[aufwp]

If you mean teenage girls who look clearly under 18, then that is certainly weird. But a lot of men regardless of how old they are will tend to be attracted to girls younger than them (18-22).

[Daniela1982]

You are the best fit to answer that question as you know him. My question is, why would you date someone in college when you have plenty of guys your age in school?

[fibs4kt]

personally, i don’t think he’s a creep. ik someone who met his 16 year old girlfriend when he was 19. she doesn’t know he’s 19, but I don't know if that’s an issue or not. but what i can tell you is that they were happy together and age doesn’t really matter.

[BrookeAZ90]

I guess I'm bias because when my parents started dating, my dad was 23 and my mom was 16. No one really though it was a big deal in the 80's though. So, wouldn't bother me.

[VikingWarLord]

holy sheet, you have major issues.

You know back in your grandparents day, the man was like 28 and the girl was like 15 when they got married. Your age gap of 3 years is NOTHING. Move along now and get some therapy

[4ngelic]

no lol its just 3 years and you both were done with puberty so how tf is that weird

[comekitty]

I don't think he's a creep. I also dated a guy who was 19 when I was 16.

[jshm2]

No. You were the creep for chasing older guys...

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I don't think he was a creep

[gorydetails]

100% he was a creep. You were a teen in HS. He was presumably a college freshman.

[Luckycharms12]

No only few years between you clearly not creepy since still together

[humanearth]

To the law yes, to each other no

[Jamie05rhs]

I wouldn't worry too much about that.

[EaterPeter]

Whatever you think is right ✅️

[Anonymous]

No, he was a straight male.

[fonduegirl]

Probably yeah.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

No..

[TallAnon]

Nah, close enough

[riverrat3]

Nope