Am I a gold digger for only wanting to date men who are good with money?

Question

I always get labeled a gold digger because I prefer older men who are good with money.

Also being good with money doesn't necessarily mean they're rich. I've dated men born into money and they are boring as hell and only have their money to do the talking.

With men who've worked for there money I feel you get a hell of a lot more of interesting person.

I like knowing but if we were together he wouldn't be wasting his money on dumb things that aren't important. I'm not saying he can't enjoy himself or have a life I just hope they'd make sensible decisions.

Instead I'd rather him work hard to support are future together as would I. So we can have a good life and buy a house and raise a family without worry.

For example I have a male friend who's always saying that I'm rich ever since he accidentally saw my bank statements. I don't consider myself to be that rich I'm just smart and save my money.

I asked him if he had savings and a savings account, life time isa etc and he said he doesn't have either and just has £900 hidden away as savings. My friend is also 29 and has £900 as his savings.

I'm 25 and I have wayyyyyyyyyy more than that saved and we both work together so we both earn the same.

I said to him but I could never be with a man who doesn't save his money and he said that's because I'm a gold digger.

I also have a brother in law who only puts £50 in his pension a month and I worry for him and my sister in laws future.

I know so many people who as soon as they get paid it's like a race to see how fast they can spend it all.

I feel sick when I have £200 left in my current account and there's my friends with £1 to there name

MementoMori777 · Accepted Answer

This has nothing to do about wanting his money tho, you just want a responsible man, you could've worded that better, you are making yourself sound like a gold digger, clearly a responsible man is better for marriages because they are smart at spending and that can get a family far so it's understandable and not at all a gold digger vibe, but I'd say don't judge by savings accounts because all their money might just be stored away on their regular account or invested in the stock market or another form of investment so they might be smart spending and just cause you see a bit sitting on an account and he has a bunch of it put to work, sounds like you can loose a good catch judging by savings lol

Sun_Kim-Ai · Accepted Answer

No, wanting someone who is good with finances is not "gold digging", is common sense.

There's nothing more troublesome than a big spender who doesn't know how to manage their money, or people with debt or shopping and gambling addictions. They burn their own resources, and will end up burning yours as well.

I admit I've been born into wealth and that I enjoy luxuries, but I'm also careful about not squandering money and invest them for the future of my family and my children. Despite not needing to, I work and my wife, who comes from similar wealth, does the same.

We don't sit idly and we don't overindulge, instead we focus on building on and expanding what we've been given.

tesniolite · Accepted Answer

No, you are not a gold digger for only wanting to date men who are good with money. It is perfectly reasonable to want to be with someone who shares your financial values and who is responsible with their money. In fact, it's probably ideal to have similar financial values when you are considering a long-term relationship or marriage.

FifiJones · Accepted Answer

Do you know what that even means? Because usually it means smart and stingy, so won't be buying you stuff, unless you are also good with money. Are you?

coachTanthony · Answer

Dating men who are good with money is actually a smart move.

Knighted2170 · Answer

There's nothing wrong with looking out for your future.

A golddigger is one who only goes out with a person for the simple fact that they want the other person to support and buy things for them, and not contribute financially themselves.

Being smart with finances and wanting someone else to be financially smart isn't golddigging.

Also, wanting someone who is financially smart and having aspirations or an adventurous life isn't a bad thing. No one wants a boring and predictable relationship. Spontaneity is an element that helps keep a relationship fresh and alive.

You have standards for what you are looking for. Sounds like those guys are making excuses and placing blame on you for their own shortcomings. Keep your standards, and don't second guess them.

richardcory · Answer

Nothing wrong with wanting what you want. If that includes financial responsibility, that is completely OK.

by the way, savings is not a good indication of wealth beyond some point. Its not at all unusual for people to have <1% of their wealth in savings, maybe much less.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

I mean, I prefer fit females that are good at blowjobs and can please me in ways I expect them too. So if you are that kind of person then I don’t see a problem with your expectations. As long as you don’t mind that those men have expectations of there own

LiamJHayden · Answer

Not at all. A gold digger is someone who dates for money even if she despises the guy. What you are doing is exercising wisdom. And I understand. I know people who make around $50K (which is lower middle class around here) who are doing well and others who make over $250K who are always broke.

slatyb · Answer

No, that only means you are holding out for a competent adult.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Good with money doesn’t mean a lot of money so no you are not

Kelly6 · Answer

NO, gold digger are different

Jennz6 · Answer

Maybe?

EaterPeter · Answer

Nope

Amur8711 · Answer

Yes, obviously

Am I a gold digger for only wanting to date men who are good with money?

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