I dont know if I should be friends with a girl first, suppress my interest or don't ask them out at all?

[Dixonbros93]

I just want to vent right now. Whenever I see a girl I like, I dont know if I should be friends with her or what not. Or act asexual around them. Even though I'm heterosexual. Im kind of afraid of rejection too and usually don't do anything but just stand around awkwardly. im turning 30 next month and dont really know how to "be myself" around girls. I actually met this one girl at college but I dont know if I should be friends with her or ask her out. This is so goddamn confusing. Another thing that pisses me off is why we have to "stop looking" in order to find someone. Every time I hear that it sounds like "dont ever have a crush, dont ever ask girls out and just suppress your interest" hence why I act like im not interested in the opposite sex when deep down I really am. Maybe if something random, spontaneous would just frigging happen in my life already I wouldn't be waiting 13 goddamn years for something random, spontaneous to happen in my life already. Gee, you think? the right time better happen in my life soon. Its 2023, a new year. So how about something new in my life already before I stab you in the head like a zombie?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

"Stop looking" also includes focusing on self improvement and building confidence, which will naturally attract women and give you a better chance when you do approach them.
It doesn't mean continue to be lonely, horny and miserable and stop putting yourself out there

[Dixonbros93]

I admit I have looked at porn a lot since I was 13 and going 2 weeks without it. I think pornography has caused me to act like this

[WanderingLoveWizard]

100% man! I quit porn 2 months ago and got a girlfriend a month ago.
It made me crave real female attention and gave me more confidence to go after it
It really does work

[Dixonbros93]

I've dated, kissed and been in a very brief relationship, so im grateful for those moments

[Dixonbros93]

It just seem like an oxymoron why we have to "stop looking". Do I have to become a monk and never ever think about the opposite sex?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

No, just don't actively pursue women unless the right moment comes to you

[Dixonbros93]

In this case I like this girl on college campus. Turns out she likes The Sopranos and Orange is the New Black. but im just so in my head that I don't even know what to do. she's cute

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Smile and introduce yourself. Have a small chat with her and get her number

[In_Trance]

No to friends first.

That sets the incorrect tone for your relationship. You have no interest in being friends, so why pretend to be?

[Dixonbros93]

Isn't that how most relationships start? This guy I know started out as friends with this girl who I had a crush on and now they're together. And at first she told me she wasn't ready to date. And now she's with him? What a fucking hypocrite

[In_Trance]

Not ready to date means not interested.
Everyone is ready to date if the right person is in front of them

[Dixonbros93]

I mean I've dated before and was in a brief relationship couple years back so this isn't to say I've never experienced romance

[Dixonbros93]

Plus this girl i met in college im interested in her and I want to ask her to hang but how can I "act" around her despite our good conversations?

[Boomchakalaca]

Do not be the friend. Girls and guys usually cannot be friends.

[Dixonbros93]

Still waiting for a random miracle, which could be years from now.