Where Do I Start?

Question

I wanna do a deep self-introspection because honesty i wouldn't call what I had with the guys I've been busy with relationships because i keep on getting used and tossed around like i ain't shit... i wanna know the reasons why and what should i do because i want to be loved, i know that i deserved to be loved but then again i feel like something is wrong with me

Anonymous · Answer

Carve out some alone time to write out what you want for yourself, and what you don’t want. These are your boundaries and your standards. Look into your past and take note of the things that messed up those situations with men and what you can do differently.

For instance, When you say you’ve been used and tossed around, I’m guessing you had sex with those men without a commitment and I wouldn’t advise that. Not unless you can go into a hookup knowing that if it doesn’t work out you won’t feel used and discarded. Celibacy until you’re serious with someone is better in general though, and says a lot about the man you’re with. Like you want to know he isn’t a player that’s playing a role of being the guy he thinks you want, just to have sex and treat you as a friends with benefits.

The right guy will be patient and spend some real time getting to know you, because his interest surpasses getting laid. I’d say to consider therapy but I know not everyone is interested in that lol. So if that’s you then find another outlet like journaling.

Anonymous · Answer

It's great that you are recognizing the need for self-introspection and taking steps towards understanding your situation. Here are a few steps you can take to get started:

Create a safe and comfortable space for yourself where you can reflect on your thoughts and feelings. You can do this by finding a quiet place, lighting a candle, or listening to calming music.

Start journaling your thoughts and feelings. Write down your experiences with the guys you've been involved with and how they made you feel. Be honest and don't hold back.

Reflect on your patterns and behaviors. Are there any commonalities in the type of guys you attract or the situations you find yourself in? Reflect on your boundaries and how you can improve them.

Seek the help of a therapist or counselor. A therapist can help you work through your emotions and provide tools and strategies for building healthy relationships.

Remember, there is nothing wrong with you. You deserve love and respect. It's important to take the time to understand yourself and your needs so you can attract and build healthy relationships.

Hulk_kitty · Answer

good advice for you, in this video

Where Do I Start?

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