Should I uninvite my friend to our trip if my boyfriend doesn't want her to go?

Question

My best friend and i planned a trip to mexico for her to visit where my parents are from. We planned this trip way before i met my boyfriend. After i met my boyfriend i decided to invite him too on our trip. After some issues between me and him, he decided that he didn't like my best friend anymore. Now when the convesation comes up about the trip, he says that he doesn't want to go anymore because she is going. That i shouldn't even remind her of the trip so she won't be able to go. I dont know what to tell my boyfriend at this point.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

What’s the reason he doesn’t like your friend? And if you planned this trip with your friend way before your boyfriend was in the picture , then you should just go with your friend since your boyfriend doesn’t want to go , it’s not like you excluded him , I know friends’ can sometimes interfere in a relationship and cause conflict , it happens in most relationships their is a thin line between good friends and toxic friends , a good friend will support your relationship and respect your partner and understand you aren’t single anymore and try not to interfere , a toxic friend will try to pull you away from your relationship and try to influence you to do things that your partner wouldn’t appreciate you doing , their motive is to have you pick them over picking your partner , those honestly are friends you should eliminate out of your life if they are trying to influence you to be apart from your partner , so what kind of friend is she? , but you have to remember you aren’t married to this guy , if you were married, then yes without a doubt you should pick your partner over your friend , but since you aren’t married, pick your friend and your boyfriend can either deal with it and get over it , or just chalk it up and go with you both , or not go at all , it’s not your problem, it’s his , To me it sounds like your boyfriend doesn’t like your friend because your friend probably smothers you without you realizing it , From a guy’s perspective , he probably thinks she is Gay for you , like she is going to try to make out with you or influence you to do things that can cause conflict in your relationship , like flirting with others guys and doing silly things , so your boyfriend probably thinks your friend is Toxic is my guess, If she is toxic and you want your relationship to continue on a positive track then maybe exclude your friend. That’s the best advice I can give you cuz I don’t know your friend or your boyfriend

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's important to consider the feelings and boundaries of all parties involved in this situation. While it's understandable that your boyfriend may feel uncomfortable with your best friend coming on the trip, it's also important to consider your own feelings and the plans that you've already made.

It's not fair to your best friend to uninvite her from the trip, especially if you've already made plans and arrangements with her. Additionally, it's not healthy for your relationship with your boyfriend to give in to his demands without considering your own feelings and priorities.

It may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and the importance of your friendship with your best friend. It's possible that with some communication and compromise, you may be able to find a solution that works for everyone.

It's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and to make decisions that align with your values and goals for the future. If you feel that your boyfriend's demands are unreasonable or are causing you undue stress or discomfort, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and whether it is healthy and fulfilling for you.

Juneberry91 · Accepted Answer

Honor your plans with your friend, you made them originally with her before he came along.

So sit down with him, Acknowledge that he recently has not come to like your friend and even if that is hard on you because you care for both very much you are going to choose to hang doe this with fairness.

Tell him of course I would love for you to come but I want to honor how you feel and not force you to go on this trip because you can’t stand to be around her. Tell him that’s his choice and you respect that. Then say I also respect my friends feeling on this matter and will follow through weigh the trip. That you strongly feel this is the right thing to do.

I think you should also mention to him that your friend is apart of your life whether he likes or dislikes her but it will not change your friendship her.

Prepare your heart, The whole part of dating and relationship is finding out if there are shrivel to be a life long partner. You are learning about his temper and coping.

He might retaliate and say that you don’t love him, He might claim that he has more priority over your friend because your in a relationship now. If he threatens to break over this then you know he is not mature & is using methods to Sabotage your relationship for his dislike for your friend. Be firm and be confident in your choice.

Amateur man will honor your previous plans, He will communicate his dislike but he will not slam you make you feel bad for your decision. He will honor that she is a part of your life and that she comes with you. Just as much as your family comes with you.

good luck

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You knew your BEST FRIEND before you knew your boyfriend and both you and her planned a trip together and now that your boyfriend doesn’t like your best friend, he doesn’t want her to go

If you allow your boyfriend to dictate your life in any way especially when’s he’s the one in the wrong, there will be no time before he’s isolating you from your family and friends, controlling your wardrobe, putting his interests over yours when relationship are supposed to be a PARTNERSHIP. Partners have discussions and get down to the root of issues. BOTH contribute to that discussion equally and without lies, just facts.

Does he have a justifiable reason for not wanting your best friend around? Did she do something to offend YOU, your boyfriend, your friendship?

Be prepared to lose one of them but make sure you’re comfortable with the one you could possibly lose

There’s so much I want to say but I’ll leave it at this. The choice is yours; however, remember for the rest of your life, you may be forced to choose between your best friend and your boyfriend

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Whether she goes doesn't depend on her remembering! Don't be silly!

She was invited first, you then invited your boyfriend, and he wants to change the plans when he is not the one who scheduled the trip. Tell your boyfriend that you don't expect him to go on the trip since he dislikes your friend and his attitude will make your life difficult going forward. If you allow him to control these things now, what will you do when he says that he doesn't want to spend Christmas with your family. . . or Thanksgiving . . . or Easter?

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

Easy: You tell your boyfriend that you planned this trip with your friend before you two got together. Therefore, you won't be uninviting your friend. Now, if your boyfriend doesn't want to come along since she's going... that's his choice. But don't be a shitty friend, because your boyfriend is being an idiot. If only two people go on this trip... if should be you and your friend.

AviatorTom · Answer

Go with your friend and leave the boyfriend home. He has no right to be so controlling.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

What a bunch of bull$hit! Right if you go with your best friend. Two’s a couple three’s company & in this case you already made plans with your best friend & if you uninvite your best friend that would just be wrong. On the flip side you should of talked to your best friend before you decided anything. In addition your boyfriend is saying if she goes he’s not & to be honest he needs to grown up & be a man & let you & your best friend go on the trip.

lollypop2003 · Answer

If you don’t bring your friend then you’re not a very good one. If it was you and your boyfriend who originally planned it then fair enough but the fact that it was only meant for the two of yous. I don’t think she’ll forgive you if you ditched her like that. Have a conversation with both of them, it’s an awkward place for you to be in. But ultimately if your boyfriend doesn’t like her then he shouldn’t go, simple.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Thats kinda messed up. But i’d tell her its turning into a couples trip where you dont want her to feel like a third wheel and that its best she bring someone with her or just not come. Yes, i totally would choose my boyfriend over a friend idgaf 🤷‍♀️

Paris13 · Answer

You had Already IVIED your Bestie Before you Met Him-------p-She is your Best Friend. Tough Tooties if He don't Like Her. Tell him to Stay Home Alone and Go with Her or still Tell him to Com But To-----Like it or Lump it. You need to be Fair. He is Beginning to Sound Controlling. xxoo

Askincuzimnosey · Answer

Honey-child... men come and go. Take your best friend because that was the ORIGINAL PLAN!

Never change plans for a man who hasn't put a ring on your hand. Period.

Down the road he may be some sort of luni-jerk face and you're gonna need your friend.

Miristheiss · Answer

Quite the problem.

I cannot get past the Mexico part.

The grug cartels that have taken over the country. The 30,000 murders a year.

Visit someplace else.

Why does he not like her? Does she try to get you to drink and to go out partying and flirt with guys? What is his reason?

ImalwaysrightOK · Answer

No, you should go with your friend and leave the boyfriend behind. Your friendship is more important. Your boyfriend may be your ex someday and wasn't even a part of this when you arranged the trip. If your boyfriend is angry about that arrangement, that should tell you he's the one with the problem.

Spade_01 · Answer

Seems like your boyfriend hasn't left much of a choice to you anymore. You will either have to choose from your boyfriend and your best friend or will have to work out the 'issues' between them. Try getting them on some common ground. Also note that your boyfriend is new while your best friend isn't. It could be that your boyfriend is toxic and you can't see it through.

SoftM · Answer

Hmm. I've long since stopped having close friends precisely because of such circumstances. Friends seem supportive but then get jealous or envious if you find love.

I don't think I'd go at all. Especially if it was a girl I care about who'd prefer me not to.

jshm2 · Answer

Nope. Uninvite the boyfriend as he doesn't want your best friend to go. He has no skin in the game. The cost is entirely yours and your friends, he's just mooching.

slatyb · Answer

No, you absolutely should not. in my opinion he's being quite selfish and unreasonable. I would keep the friend and lose the boyfriend.

sunflower00 · Answer

You planned it with your friend first. He sounds like a pain, if anything I’d uninvite him as he has the problem with it

sheikalana · Answer

Tell her that you guys changed your mind and want this trip to be only about you and your boyfriend.

spartan55 · Answer

Your boyfriend is showing you who he is. Hopefully you are paying attention.

juene · Answer

Go with the original plan, babe. Your bestie planned this with you in the first place. Your boyfriend needs to be more matured. Sorry.

Anonymous · Answer

mm no you should uninvite your boyfriend duh!

Gentleman900 · Answer

Why doesn't he want her to go? hmmm, strange...

Should I uninvite my friend to our trip if my boyfriend doesn't want her to go?

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