Why can’t I communicate with him?

[Anonymous]

I’ve always been assertive and setting strong boundaries with men. I communicate when I don’t like something and it’s meant I leave people very quickly if I don’t like their behaviour. Or they ghost me.

With my current boyfriend, I feel deeply uncomfortable and anxious bringing anything up. It makes me nervous and this isn’t like me at all. Why might this be?

E. g. I asked for more effort as everything’s down to me. He gave some excuses and I accepted the,. When I should have said ‘if you want to be in a relationship with me, you plan dates.’ He always sighs when I politely address my needs and boundaries. He even said I was manipulative the other day when I asked why he’s on his phone all the time around me and should pay me more attention than being on tiktok all the time

[Anarcamus]

It sounds like he was matching the energy you put out towards him honestly. You sound like you ask without giving.

I will agree the tiktok part he needs to work on for sure, but make sure you are welcoming him. I wouldn't be surprised if he feels like you ignore him based on this post.

[Asker]

No I plan all dates, I support him with his life admin, I cook him meals when he comes to stay. I book and plan dates and dinners. He’s never taken me on a date. I help him find jobs and I look after him when he’s sick. He said he will treat me when he’s not broke. I do so much and I feel unappreciated.

I made him a birthday cake of his favourite movie character and I’m always buying him new treats to try from the shop.

I don’t think I can do more than I’m doing, I’ve ever pulled back lately as feels one sided

[Anarcamus]

Take some time to do a deeper assessment, instead of a list of what you do for him take the time to build an HONEST like of what he has done for you. Don't compare, don't tally, and make sure you consider emotional needs and more.

[Asker]

He doesn’t do anything but I’m letting him off as he’s broke. Would be nice to have a meal cooked something sometime, I’ve told him. He starts crying and gives me evil looks

[boggboss]

Clearly u are nit as assertive as u claim and you are showing a lack of ability to set boundaries for some reason