Guys, I'm a 27F virgin, how should I tell the guy (27M) I'm talking to? Should I lie instead?

[Anonymous]

Long story short: I missed out on the high school / college dating experience (was kinda nerdy and didn't grow into my looks until my early 20s) and tried dating in my mid 20s but stopped pretty soon because of how overwhelmingly anxious I was about telling anyone I've never done anything sexual. So here I am in my late 20s and still too scared to tell anyone I'm a virgin lol

I need help figuring out how (or if) I should tell the guy I'm interested in that I'm completely inexperienced. Like wouldn't that be a huge turn-off? And like a lot of work to ask of someone? I know that some men would happily teach me the ropes and he might be one of them but I'm still worried he'll have a negative reaction and stop pursuing me :(

If we hadn't met organically through friends (I deleted my dating apps ages ago) I probably would have avoided dating altogether for another year or two lol. We've known each other peripherally for like a year but have only been talking for a month, so it's not too late for me to chicken out and just be friends by the way

I think I've done enough research (thanks p*rnhub!) to convincingly pretend that I have some experience so I never have to tell him I'm a 27y/o virgin, but I like him enough to give it a shot! He likes me too so I doubt he'll dip if I do end up telling him, but my anxiety is still through the roof :(

Should I tell him now as a heads up? Or wait until the next time we make out? Or right before he initiates sex? How should I word it?

Last question I swear lol. What would your reaction be to hearing that your potential partner is a virgin?

You don't have to answer my exact questions by the way, any and all advice is appreciated!

Thank you!!

[Anonymous]

You should tell him, but don't just blurt it out over dinner, lol. Wait until things are in that general vicinity, like when you're making out, and definitely before sex.

Most decent guys will be happy to show you the ropes, and would likely modify their "technique" to be more appropriate for a woman with no experience. They'll be more patient, and help you to explore/discover what you like & dislike.

If he knows, he can make your first time a more comfortable and rewarding experience. If you try to fake it, then he'll probably just think you're no good in bed, and neither of you want that.

Just be honest with him; it'll be worth it, for both of you. 🙂

[Saramad_Hill]

I lost my virginity at age 20, but even now I'd never make fun of someone for it if I'm actually interested in them. I can't speak for everyone but I'm pretty sure a lot of men would be fine with that. It's really nothing to be ashamed of.

Tell him when you feel the time is right. Or if things escalate to final base, just tell him after the fact that he was your first.

I really don't get the whole thing with society shaming virgins to the point we feel like it's a bad thing... It's more important to focus on quality encounters than quantity of them.

[Anonymous]

Just own it. I don't know why you’re putting so much fear behind being a virgin, no one cares about all that. If anything that should be exciting for the guy because if he’s more experienced he can go through it with you.

[Summeroflove]

You should never lie… the truth will come out eventually and you know this.

[mattclark242]

Um if you want to have sex with him you should bring it up but if not it fine you can tell him when or if he ask you about. I think her be fine about and he low to show you it know big deal but are you ready for sex or will it be to much for you.

I lost my V at 22 and if I meet another girl I will have to tell her that and a lot of bad thing that happen and she going have be ok with it I guss. cuase I was with an girl who want thing she want friends with benefits and it fine till I stop she gave me lice I think it an std or and sti ,. also she had a kid with someone else and her ex use to hit her and her and the kids mess up it all kind of mess up. I wish I did it with someone safer. anyway try fine someone safe and do it when you want and try have fun and not see it as a bad thing.

I want my V to go to and older women but I keep being to shy.

[Olivier-628]

I think it's safe when you know he's definitely interested. Just so you can play it safe on the chase game (don't wait too long tho).

I'm sure he won't mind. And if he did, would you be interested in a guy that minds this sort of unimportant things?

[trick1492]

Yes, tell him. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I dated a woman that was about that same age and she was a Virginia beforw we meet. She found out what she liked and didn't like because she was honest with me and I helped her discover her preferences.

[xColinx]

Just be honest. It's intimidating going in but I can guarantee you'll be glad in the long run.

Just keep it casual, tell him you have something important to tell him... then explain your secret love for pineapple on pizza... then ease into the fact you've never met someone you've felt *this* comfortable with to be completely open sexually, but that he does that for you.

He'll feel like the king of the entire world and then y'all can go from there. good luck yo!

[Berethor]

Lying is bad, virgin girls best, not dirty, also if a virgin girl that watched porn is pretty cool.

[Andres77]

It's nobody's business so you shouldn't have to tell anyone. If you guys are kissing and petting you should definitely tell him then so expectations are clear.

Nothing wrong with being a virgin. You've certainly avoided lots of regrets so far

[tzdc21]

You being a virgin is an absolute blessing any guy would love. It's actually ideal for guys to have virgin partners. So you have nothing to worry about

[Ben487]

ah being a virgin is a good thing... that's a medal on your side. He's gonna be happy about it.

[exitseven]

You don't need to make a big deal about this. Do not lie about it. Just ask him to take is slow, you will figure it out. It is not rocket science.

[MementoMori777]

I didn't read that cause I'm multitasking but don't be ashamed of virginity, there's not much of em left so that's a bonus on his part.

[Googlemyahoo]

I’d be like let me educate you no worries…

Its not like holding a cross to a vampire. he's not going to hiss and flee.

[Anonymous]

Have you had any guys express interest in you over the years? As in, before this guy that you are currently speaking to

[clampfan101]

Virginity is nothing to be ashamed of.