I’ve been trying to work on not being so jealous, but everyone just gives generic advice on this that doesn’t help. The idea that my man finds other woman attractive is a guy punch. I don't know what to do.. I almost don’t even want to date to avoid these feelings!
It is an autonomic reaction for guys. Autonomic is a component of the peripheral nervous system that causes heart rate, blood pressure and sexual arousal etc to elevate. The flight or fight impulse is part of this too. As is the rest and digest response after a good meal.
It is to the degree that I can be walking along the street, deep in thought on my poor finances, and suddenly become aware that I have an erection. A quick look around finds a comely girl. Most recently it was a girl in a short skirt wearing leg warmers. I really can't explain why her leg warmers did it for me - they just did. Maybe because I hadn't seen a girl wearing leg warmers for quite a long time. Who knows, I don't and I'm the guy with the erection.
Obviously this is leading to the generic advice you said you don't want. Equally obviously you would like your man to be so focused on you that he doesn't find other women attractive and demonstrates that by never looking at another girl.
Can I suggest you change your reaction to "Oh I am better than her" when your man succumbs to autonomic reactions? The proof you are better than her is that he is with you not her. You might first react jealousy but if you consciously follow that up with "oh I am better than her" it will in kick in like a mantra. Some girls have asked me "Did you like her top" which sort of gets it out in the open. You might be surprised that he didn't think much of her top. :)
Hmmm maybe try to think about it this way. There are definitely other guys in the world that you find attractive. Maybe not interested in them but there are and will be others you think are nice to look at. That can't be controlled. But what can be is how they act. If he looks like he's hella tryna clap or getting turned on then yeah I see why you're getting jealous but if your problem is just that you know in his head that he finds others attractive then you're the problem. But going back to my point, picture if he got jealous when you found another guy attractive. It's bound to happen but so long as you don't plan on doing anything or cheating then it's like, whatever. But I get why you're jealous, you fear him finding another attractive could lead to him leaving you and you care about him, I've felt it before too but you need to trust him, if you can't do that then maybe a relationship isn't for you
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6Opinion
Well. He should really be into you
I’m not sure how to explain this to you in order for you to understand as women think differently than men. We’re wired differently. I mean fuck I don’t like when women get all emotionally especially over minor shit but I deal w it cause I won’t ever understand that. I just accept that we’re different. Trust me if men could turn off that part of our brain once we met someone I’m sure a lot of us would cause it really does cause a lot of trouble sometimes even if you’re just looking but it happens automatically. A glance. I don’t mean staring cause now you’re doing it intentionally.
You shouldn't be jealous, this normal man can sleep with a woman he finds attractive if he wants, you shouldn't get involved, be a little positive
If he is a straight male, he will notice. However, if he scopes or stares, he is making a choice to disrespect you.
That's the only option if you can accept that your man can see.
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