Is it okay to date an ex situationships friend?

[Anonymous]

I don’t even know how to explain this, but I went on a few dates with a co worker (we’ll name him Dave) couple of months ago… we didn’t even get physical, the most was literally peck on the lips after our last date. But it didn’t work out and we are cordial at work. Mind you, I’m really good friends with Dave’s best friends girlfriend, who I also met at work, and recently she told me that when Dave’s buddies came into work, one of his friends saw me and was interested in me. And I’m not gonna lie the mutual attraction is there. Is that okay on my part to be interested or go for it if his friend takes it further and asks me out? Clearly, I wasn’t brought up to the boys by Dave so it feels like it wasn’t serious on his end, but I also really don’t know how this bro code/girl code works if it never got serious between me and Dave. Thoughts?

[OlderAndWiser]

It very likely will bother the guy you did date although he may not be willing to admit that. Jealousy is an animal instinct, not a logical reaction, so don’t try to make sense of it. Ask other guys who have some experience and I expect most of them will agree with me.

[spartan55]

I don't see a problem with it. Do you still talk to the first guy? Why did you call it a situationship if you hardly kissed?

[Asker]

I dont. He was the one that was being inconsistent about it so I said let’s just be friends… but we went on a couple of dates before he made that move and he called it “dating” so I’m not sure how to explain what we were 😅

[spartan55]

Whatever it was, it doesn't sound significant (at all) If you don't even talk to that guy anymore I say definitely go for it!

[Asker]

True! We don’t talk as much (mainly because he chooses not to and keeps distant) but we just have to work together so I do have to see him daily. But thanks!

[spartan55]

Ohhh... I didn't know you still saw him. So you ended it? How was he being inconsistent?

[spartan55]

Did you have sex with that guy?

[Asker]

We work together so we have to see each other on the daily but during the dating phase he would be hot and cold. Like all in one minute then two weeks of distance. Didn’t really communicate specific things. But we went on for about 3 months of this so I talked to him about it and he seemed overwhelmed with his answer and made it sound like he just wants to date around and not look for something serious (which for him is fine no judgement) but for me although I was open to dating other people too, I’m looking to date so it can become a relationship down the line. So it felt like we were on different pages on what we were looking for. But no all we did is literally kiss goodbye, and that was on our 5th date.

[spartan55]

Hmmm, well my answer is the same, but you might get a bit of blowback from him. I wouldn't have it though. Say "dude you had your chance"
No sex in three months? Long time...

[Hearts4u]

Girl do it. Cause if Dave had the opportunity to date any of your friends he would. And don’t think about it being awkward cause it’s not awkward until you make it awkward.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t know what is situationship, don’t understand that term.

[Asker]

It’s when a relationship hasn’t been defined yet; so you’re going on dates and talking but aren’t exclusive yet.

[Avicenna]

I don't see a problem with it, but the friend should address it with Dave

[OddBeMe]

Kinda confused, but usually ask the friend or ex for permission and they'll usually say it’s fine. Wait til you’re caught and you lose friends.

[Twalli]

If it never got serious and Dave is okay with it not getting serious, he won't mind.

[Jamie05rhs]

Why didn't it work out between you and Dave?

[Asker]

Honestly, I think we were dating for different reasons. After talking with him cat the time, I think even though he tried it out, he was very hot and cold, or all in one minute, and distant the next. And after chatting with some friends/coworkers, even good friends of his, he’s someone not ready for anything serious at the moment, while I want the opposite.

[Jamie05rhs]

What was his reason for dating? What was he looking for? What kind of relationship was he seeking with you?

[KrakenAttackin]

Just do what women do.

[In_Trance]

Why would you?
Find someone else

[Anonymous]

Seems pointless to me.

[mommymommymommy]

I'm dave