When is it a good time to tell someone you’re talking to that you’re waiting until marriage?

[thatshydork]

So I haven’t been in very many relationships but I have been in the talking stage with quite a few people. There’s a few important conversations that I like to have with them before I agree to meet them for a date and those are:

Telling them about my severe and anxiety and minor depression and how I need to take anti depressants

Warning them that I’m pretty shy and awkward when I first meet people

and finally,

That I’m waiting until marriage.

Most guys make it past the first two but stop talking to me after the third. I don’t do this all at once (I usually give it at least a few days between each), but I was wondering if I should wait to tell them until after a first date/a few dates or if I’m doing them a favor by telling them early on? Or is this a conversation that just needs to be whenever you feel the time is right?

[RavVid]

This comes down to why fathers are protective of their daughters. They know when they were young guys, they wanted to run through and pump & dump as many girls as they could. Despite that desire to run through and pump & dump guys actually respect girls who decline to be run through and pumped & dumped. Female fidelity is important to guys and your view is the best indicator that you will meet that.

Now I don't think you need to say you are waiting till marriage before a first date. I'd suggest seeing if you think there are possibilities first before delivering the bad news. It is not just no sex you are offering the right man and not even just virginity but your complete fidelity you are offering. Since a lot of girls offer negative purity you have to have this conversation early.

I constantly find myself suggesting to women that they should look at guys who are a bit older and in your case I find myself saying the same again. 20 yo guys will be more wanting inconsequential sex but that is not what you want. You could put this on your dating profile. cause there is not much point in getting contacts with guys who won't accept no sex till marriage.

With being shy an awkward that is inconsequential. Not for you perhaps but at worse it means a more extrovert guy is best for you.

The depression & anxiety is more serious. It could just be your life is not so pleasant at the moment and the right guy could make it much better. They hand anti-depressant out like lollies. It is not unusual at your age. Not knowing what you are depressed about I can't say more.

[Lliam]

If you are waiting for marriage, you should say so early on.

For me, being shy and awkward when you first meet people is nothing.

Taking anti-depressants for severe anxiety and minor depression is a concern, but I wouldn't even need to know that right off the bat. I could get to know you first and make my own judgement about your personality. When you confided it to me once we got to know each other, I would be willing to learn more about your situation and try to relate.

However, I would never consider marrying someone unless we had been in a fully committed, long term relationship that included sex. There are many things that are important in deciding if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone, and sexual compatibility is one of them.

I only planned to get married once, so I wanted to be absolutely sure that we were compatible in every important way.

So I'd be angry if I spent time getting to know someone only to find out that they were saving themselves for marriage. That would make us incompatible. And I would consider it dishonest of that person to have led me on.

But, on the other hand, there are lots of guys who are looking for a woman who is saving herself for marriage. It's their ideal. It would make you highly desirable in their eyes. So if you let them know up front, they would consider you to be a prize and pursue you seriously.

[Keishio]

When the dating starts. For 99% of guys it's a deal breaker and if you're a few dates in he'll start wondering what's up anyway especially if you start staying over at eachothers place and nothing happens. Best to not let it get that far before making it known

[Anonymous]

Honestly if I was a guy I'd be more concerned with your mental health than anything else.

The fact that you're waiting till marriage is a non-issue. And if guys are ending it by the second date let me say first, Good! And second, you need to start choosing better men. That's clearly your real problem here. Not when or even IF you're telling them.

[BlackJeep]

Waiting for marriage isn't a deal breaker for a lot of men and you're weeding out guys who aren't your type. I am more concerned about the mental issues and would want to know about your therapy.

[Sparkie460]

You should tell him that you are waiting to have sex until marriage as early as possible so you don't waste your time on them. You don't want to get too attached to them just to have them leave because they are looking for sex.

[spartan55]

The 'talking stage' is stupid, and a waste of time.

[KatherineJ]

I think telling the guy early is a good idea. That way you know what he is after. You, or your body.

[dudeinohio]

As early as possible. Definitely while still in the talking stage, before the first date. It's a deal breaker usually, so it's best to cover it early.

[Anonymous]

As soon as possible because most men will bail on you. It is better than wasting your time on a man that can't go the distance.

[Anonymous]

Lol why you think guys should follow this? Are you Emma Watson? Angelina Jolie? Bro we have many options ✌️

[thatshydork]

I don’t expect them to, it’s just a personal choice that I myself have made and if they don’t like it, that’s fine, they don’t have to be in a relationship with me. I’ve got other options too who would respect my decision. I know I’m not the only fish in the sea for them and vice versa. But I ain’t about to get into a relationship with someone who won’t respect my decision and try to pressure me into things I don’t want to do.

[Opinion Owner]

The fun fact is that

If you removed sex from relationship then you girls don't have anything to offer.

[thatshydork]

If you actually believe that, then you are a sad, sad man and I am very glad that we have not had the misfortune of meeting irl.

There’s more to a relationship than sex and the sooner you learn that, the less likely you’ll wind up alone.

Also, if you think that taking sex off the table makes us women useless in a relationship, it has the same affect with men. Women can do anything men can do and do it whilst experiencing cramps and bleeding for a week straight. From what I’ve heard, most men can’t satisfy women in the bedroom anyways, so I know I ain’t missing out.

Us women are worth more than just our bodies, and if you can’t see that, you’re a sad man and I truly hope that you never, and I mean never, have a daughter because if you’re telling this to a stranger, I can only imagine how you treat the women that you actually give a shit about.

[Opinion Owner]

Question is same..

What yoh bring on the table if we removed sex from the relationship?

[thatshydork]

More than you ever could.

[slatyb]

Very very soon. First date or before.

[brandon1122]

Be honest in the beginning

[Wise4myage]

When you know your gonna do the deed.

[In_Trance]

Immediately