Do men have "advantages" or leverage when it comes to dating? Yes or no? If yes, what do you think is the leverage?

Question

Do men have "advantages" or leverage when it comes to dating? no? or yes? if yes, what do you think is the leverage?

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

100% but it also depends on the person, and women could have advantages as well. Mostly I think men have advantages in that they are able to do most of the choosing, deciding, pursuing, &c., with no real consequences. I mean in terms of social stimga and expectations/cultural norms. It actually makes them look good the more they do, at least shy of the point where it's absurd.

Women don't have to live under the yoke of expectations, but most of them do because of fear and/or the general tendency of humans to want to fit in and not stick their necks out acting differently than the rest of the herd. So they have societal pressure to sit back and let men do all the "driving". Also, tbh, women are typically very quick to fall in love with a person who simply gives them a bit of the right kind of focused attention (just not the weird obsessed stalker kind, but actual interest and support for who they are).

Some of women's "advantages" could also be seen as disadvantages in the longview. "Pretty privilege" is a great example, I saw a great video by a very compassionate former therapist about this topic the other day:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/cZ-yRb5NvyE

I can't remember if he mentions it or not, but one aspect I've always thought of in terms of "pretty privilege" is the spoiled factor as well. Those who are given everything don't develop strength and resilience the same way those who struggle do, and it is can be a major detriment to personality. Both in how one interacts with others, and in how one handles stress. I saw a post by my high school's top popular girl the other day, she is an emotional trainwreck, and it is somewhat evident from her self presentation that she is very focused on physical looks (and failing hard).

Kind of along those same lines is the hardship women have thinking they have the advantage. So there's a pretty girl at the bar, with a line of dudes waiting to buy her a drink. But the thing is, all those dudes are beggars. The true prince she wants isn't going to consider for a second standing in a line, and so she is a queen of trash. That's the state for most of these women who think they have their pick of the litter, what they really are getting is the pick of the rubbish.

Do men have "advantages" or leverage when it comes to dating? Yes or no? If yes, what do you think is the leverage?

I don't mean to say all men at bars are trash, there are plenty of great people who go to bars. Just using this metaphor to show that the hordes of desperate incels and borderline incels are the ones who will be pushing and shoving to keep a woman's attention either online, on an app like Tinder, or at a place like a bar. The mentally, physically, financially, socially, (&c.), healthy person is busy building, balancing, and maintaining those elements in their life. Someone who approaches or is approached by a man like that with a spoiled attitude and the delusion she has an advantage due to gender? She'll likely leave the interaction with the same delusions she had entering it, none the wiser, and still lamenting "where are all the good men?".

In closing, as I said in the beginning, it depends on the person, and you can reverse some or all of these generalizations for those of either gender who don't fit in the status quo.

DenizLikesTennis · Accepted Answer

Well... I say that it is balanced. Therefore I give credit to men here. Because it's like when men get rejected... their maturity or in other words, the age and experience matter A LOT.

So when an inexperienced adolescent (18) gets rejected by a girl, he'd feel demotivated, agitated, furious and whichever feeling emerges. Lets hisself go in some cases.

Let's compare this scenario with an adult (25+). Instead throwing a tantrum, he sees the endless possibilities in his life BECAUSE, HE IS ALREADY AWARE OF THESE THINGS:

1. Would she be really good for me?

2. I have strengths that makes me outstanding

3. I have saved so much money that I could travel elsewhere and have a good time thus meet new people

4. I am aware what's good and what's bad for me.

5. I have people who I can put my trust on them and talk about anything and also I trust myself.

And also... there is actually not a simple answer to this question, as the dating experience can vary greatly depending on a number of factors, including the individuals involved, their preferences and interests, cultural and societal norms, and more.

However, it's important to note that these advantages are not universal, and that many men may also face challenges or disadvantages when it comes to dating. For example, men who do not conform to traditional masculine norms or who lack certain physical or social traits may struggle to attract romantic partners. Additionally, men may also face pressure to conform to gender norms and expectations, which can be stressful and limiting.

Ultimately, the dating experience is complex and multifaceted, and the advantages or disadvantages that individuals face will depend on a range of factors. It's important to approach dating with an open mind and to be aware of one's own biases and assumptions.

Yannishka · Accepted Answer

I see many no's. But I believe that they do.
Good men have leverage. Good men have that power to want to commit. You know that saying that guys think with their dick. That might apply to a lot of men, but I don't think those are good men. We have that sex leverage over them. But good men? I don't think we do.
If we only date bad men, it's normal to believe that we have all the power. But a goodlooking succesful man is going to take more than just being cute. Think otherwise, and you might just get humbled and miss out.

Boomchakalaca · Accepted Answer

Nope. They hav the disadvantage. Women hav the leverage as they can decide to be whose mate or not. Plus women dont typically go up front and ask a guy out.

ManOnFire · Answer

So women want men to feel powerless and at a disadvantage with dating. And they want men to feel like they are at women's mercy for dating or sex. Because of this, you are going to have a lot of men answer "no," but also because many men have experienced trying to date but deal with women who want them to feel bad or foolish for even trying to ask her out.

Having said that, I actually do believe we men have some advantages/leverage to dating.

Men who have careers can typically pull women easier than women with careers can pull men.
When a man shows little interest in a woman, it makes her want to come after him even more. This doesn't work when women try to ignore men, it just makes the guy see her as a snob and he will either stop trying to approach or never try to begin with.
Men who have had multiple sex partners are still more desirable for women, than women who've had multiple sex partners are desirable for men. For the record, even I as a guy am not in support of other men sleeping around and having a sportsbook past full of hoes, but I am saying this is still an advantage for most men.
Men with kids can still get a date more often than women with kids. I know a lot of people don't want to date single parents, but it's still a little easier for single dads to attract women than single moms, even if it seems rough or unfair.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Both sides have certain advantages but why does it matter? It is what it is and a wise man or woman will just accept it as it is. If we identify more advantages for one gender, does this then lead to a complaint about something not being fair? I only know one place that's fair:

inhua · Answer

the only leverage men have is whether he's willing to put a ring on her finger or not

besides that, men have no other leverage or advantages in dating

men often need to jump through hoops and need to reach a certain standard to be considered dateable or even fuckable e. g. 6 feet tall, 6 pick abs etc. a woman is fine as long as she's pretty on the inside and outside

a man has to trust and respect a woman (he has to believe she's good e. g. not a gold-digger) but a woman doesn't have to trust or respect a man (he has to prove to her he's good e. g. not abusive)

men have to earn trust and respect. women automatically get it

then whatever problems arise in dating and relationships are always the fault of the man whether those problems are his or that of the woman's. e. g. it's his fault if he's not attractive enough for her to remain loyal and not cheat on him and it's also his fault if he cheats because he can't control his emotions

then marriage comes with all it's other problems and divorce is heavily incentivized and encouraged through alimony, child support and enforced socialism of the wealth

if a man wants a prenup for the marriage or DNA test for his "offspring", he is accused of being insecure and not trusting her but when he does trust her, she is allowed to take advantage of him and there's no repercussions for her divorcing him for alimony or making him pay child support for a kid that's not his or wind up behind bars

Kaamraj · Answer

Men and women are not the same, they have been made different by biology. Most men do not have the advantage when it comes to dating as women are very picky about whom they give their sexual attention to. On top of that social media and dating apps have made the dating market globalized where women are able to advertise their youth and fertility to the global audience and men are competing with men from not only their locality, or state but at times the world.

However there is an evolutionary saying that goes, "men play to win, women play not to lose" the advantage that women have is momentary and tapers off very soon in their late 20s as men, irrespective of their age are always looking for signs of youth and fertility. The same dating and social media apps that boosted young women's egos and sexual value during their early 20s is going to ditch them for new girls as there are thousands of girls that turn 18 everyday.

Men do not get anything handed to them, if you want to suceed in the dating field then you have to put in the work, and make yourself the top 5-10%, that usually comes with age, so as women lose their sexual mean value, men tend to gain theirs but only if they put in the work in their 20s.

cosmosis181 · Answer

Sure. It's called being able to see past the butt and the face-because that's their main weapon. Once you learn to not even care about that, you look past that, through it, and see the REAL them. That's a guy's leverage. At that point, it's all his choice.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Yes, male advantages

1. The ability to choose who they approach.

2. The ability to sleep w/ multiple women w/out judgment

3. The ability to control relationship status.

Tbh both men and women have advantages its just that only hv men can enjoy the advantages and society tends to discuss women's advantages as pluses while men's are seen as negative.

DrKrieger · Answer

"Women are opportunistic, men are idealistic"

A buddy of mine got a girl to date him exclusively because he was around her age and had a house in the city she was trying to live in.

- girls have early leverage, guys have late leverage

Gopackers02 · Answer

I think it depends on who is answering this question. I’ll say no but maybe a girl would say no as well. Also depends on the relationship and the self worth each partner has in themselves. For me I’ll say no because personally I put the girl on a pedestal and I try to make sure she’s happy all the time. In my last relationship that was the case but she took advantage of it until I limited it a little bit. But I’ll say for me no

Nikki1989 · Answer

The men who have any clue about how to treat a woman will have leverage. The rest will always struggle.

Billlewis · Answer

The only real advantages I have as a guy are an exceptionally talented tongue, an eagerness to be kept pussy free at all times and the fact that I encourage the woman I'm dating/serving to see other guys whenever she wants.

CindyRuns · Answer

Nope, Women have the ultimate leverage... the word NO !!!

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Women have the leverage when it comes to sex, men have the leverage when it comes to marriage. Which is ironic considering the man loses all that leverage when he actually gets married.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

A man's attention is the only leverage he has. Use it wisely

WhitneySnow · Answer

Not really. I don’t think guys enjoy any special advantage in dating.

Unit1 · Answer

Only the top 20% of men have advantages and leverages. The rest can go home and watch porn.

backdoorman · Answer

Women have the advantages in dating, and men have the advantages in committing/marriage.

Anonymous · Answer

They don’t. Like at all. Women give them leverage. Women usually give them leverage because they believe in marriage and religion. I don’t. 💅

Kleber_01 · Answer

Dating we are were essential in the beginning of relationships, but with these new social rules it's getting harder and harder to find someone nice

SteveMutphy · Answer

Yes, they absolutely do. It's traditional for the guy to make the first move. That's a huge advantage.

shades777 · Answer

its the same as its always been, men who either are smoking hot or loaded with money win and attractive women win, thats about it

Raaj4you · Answer

I don't know. But I have rejected many unattractive and average looking girls.

dragoblack · Answer

In dating... no, absolutely not. in getting laid... yes-ish.

grega239 · Answer

can't think of any since women can just walk away

whistlingwh0res · Answer

I just figure that all men are assholes. He will step on anyone who show weakness and to get advantage over other men and women

humanearth · Answer

What leverage, both sides are nervous

Likes2drive · Answer

Only if he has a lot of money otherwise no

Jltakk · Answer

I honestly can't think of any

In_Trance · Answer

not at all

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